Chapter Nine - You're What?

Sunday, June 7


    That's it my Asian beauties. Right there, scrub my feet harder. Yeah! Like that. It's feels so fuckin' good.

    "Devin! Wake up."

    Please god don't let that be fuckin' Kim.

    "Devin! Wake the fuck up!"
    "WHAT!? Fuck! I'm getting my toes done damn it!"
    "Hot Asian bitches all around me!"
    "Give me your phone."
    "Go Away."
    "I need to use your phone! Give it to me."
    "FUCK! OFF! KIM!"
    "I'll go away as soon as you give me your fuckin' phone."
    "Are you really still here talkin'?"
    "Look. Ode didn't come home last night, I left my phone at Nitro. I need your phone to call him."
    "Maybe he's at your mom's. You should call him."
    "I would if I had a fuckin' phone!"

    How can I make Kim go away? Oh! I got it!

    "Kim. If you don't go away, I'm gonna throw my blanket on the floor. And guess what!? I don't have any underwear on."
    "You wouldn't dare!"

    Bye bye blankie!

    "Awww! You fuckin' little prick!"

 Then Kim did what she does best. Sucker punched me! But not exactly in the face. She got me right in the fuckin' dick! I let out the loudest, girly, murderous sounding scream ever! I hope none of our neighbors heard me.

Jacob and Melissa

    "And that's how you know Dev's dick has converted into a vagina. Again!"


    The sun woke me up this morning, opening my eyes I realize I'm in the backseat of Ode's car. He was under me, still sleeping away. I just lay here and stare at him. He's so incredibly handsome, I could stare at him forever.

    "I can feel you lookin' at me Hayd."
    "Morning handsome."
    "What time is it?"
    "I don't know. Let me grab my phone."

    I reach for my purse in the front seat when Ode grabs a hold of me and doesn't let me move.

    "Ode! Let me get my phone."
    "No. I don't care what time it is anymore. Kiss me gorgeous."
    "No, I have morning mouth."
    "I don't give a fuck."

    Of course he didn't! He never did. It was getting pretty steamy and serious when his phone started ringing.

    "Fuckin' shit! I need to get that. It's Jacob's ringer."

    Ode grabs his phone, answers it, presses the speaker button, then sits his phone on his forehead. Yes, I said forehead.

    "What's goin' on?"
    "Where the fuck are you Ode?"

    Okay! That is not Jacob. That is Kim! Here we are, both naked in the backseat of his car.

    "No! It's your mom! Where are you?"
    "Why do you have Jacob's phone?"
    "Your dumb ass brother wouldn't let me use his, then he threw his blanket off and showed me his dick!"

    Ode busts up laughing, I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing loudly. Fuckin' Devin!

    "Anyway! I was in the kitchen making coffee and I saw Jacob and Vanessa walk by the window, so I ran out and asked to use one of their phones."

    Vanessa? Melissa!

    "Melissa, not Vanessa."
    "What the fuck ever Ode! Where are you?"
    "I'm at Nitro! Fuck!"
    "You stayed there? Why?"
    "Because it was late and I didn't feel like drivin'. I'll be headin' home here in a few minutes."
    "Okay... Oh! Grab my phone, I think I left it behind the bar last night."
    "I'll look and grab it if it's there. Let me talk to Jacob."
    "Thank you Sugar."

    I give one of his nipples a good pinch and he smacks my ass.

    "What it do baby?"
    "Walk outside away from Kim."
    "Yeah man I'm doin' pretty good this mornin'... Okay I'm outside walkin' down to the garage. What's up?"
    "Good morning Oden!"
    "Morning Milly!"
    "Tell her morning."
    "Was that Hayden?"
    "Wow! My sister is with Oden?"
    "Yeah, Hayd is with me. We passed the fuck out in my car."
    "You fuck her?"
    "Jacob, that's my sister. Mind your business. And yeah! They had sex, my sister is a whore when it comes to Oden. She can't stay off his dick."

    She wasn't lying! Ode is my favorite drug. I'm addicted to him.

    "Did Kim notice Hayd wasn't home at all?"
    "No. I don't think so, she just asked to use my phone. She's fuckin' pissed Ode."
    "I don't give a fuck. If she's lonely she can go stay with Tank."
    "Wait, I'm confused. What about Tank?"
    "Him and Kim are fuckin'."
    "Holy shit! You serious?"
    "Yeah, saw the texts in her phone."
    "Fuck. Well, at least you have Hayden."
    "Yeah, that's why I don't give a shit if she's pissed."
    "What are you gonna do?"
    "I don't know. Let it play out, maybe play some mind games."
    "Mind games sounds like fun. Kim is a meth head, you can get her shit all fuckin' twisted."
    "Anyway, I'm off here man. My lady is making me go to the hospital. She says I need stitches on my head."
    "Fuck stitches! Use super glue."
    "I fuckin' told her that! But no! Super glue is bad she says!"
    "Stop making me look like a crazy girlfriend Jacob. I'm just making sure you're okay, and I don't like the super glue idea."
    "See what I mean Ode?! She's crazy!"
    "I hope she kicks your ass."
    "Me too! I might like it. Anyway I'm off here."
    "All right."

    Ode tosses his phone in the front seat, then grabs me and moves me in a way so now I was under him.

    "So! Milly called you a whore for me."
    "She's right."
    "I know."
    "I can feel you like that."
    "You want this inside you Hayd?"
    "How do you want it?"
    "Fuckin' dirty and filthy."
    "As you wish gorgeous."


    "I'm so proud of you Lizzy! You did it again. You got first place in this year dance competition."
    "I can't wait to get home and tell mom."
    "She's going to be so happy. You and David worked so hard."
    "I know! It was so painful. Work, work, and more work! But look at my big awesome trophy!"
    "I see it! It's going right up on the mantle with the
    "Dad! Watch out!"
    "Dad? Are you all right? Hey dad! Come on wake up, we have to get out of here. Dad? DAD!"

    I fly out of bed and land on the floor, sweating and out of breath.

    "MOM!" I scream like someone is trying to kill me.
    "Lizzy! Oh my god! What happen?"
    "Where's dad?"

    My mom grabs me and holds me tight. When I started to cry, she cried too. My mom is still sad, just like I am. She misses dad too. She's slowly getting better, Jim makes her feel better. I love to see my mom happy. I've come to terms with the fact she's moving on. I'm happy for her, It's okay now. Me... What the fuck happen to me?

    "What's all that noise?"
    "Men fixing our windows you broke last night."
    "I'm sorry. I was looking at pictures of dad and I got mad."
    "It's okay Lizzy. Are you hungry or anything?"
    "No, I'm fine. I need a shower. Look at me."
    "Bad dream damn near threw your skinny ass across the room is what I see."

    We both laugh. It did almost toss my skinny ass to the wall.

    "How are we paying for this? Jim helping us?"
    "No. It's been taken care of. New T.V and computer still in the box."
    "No, Michael paid for everything."
    "Well, before I left, I asked him to keep an eye on things. Just in case something like this happens. He said he was gone when it happened, so he offered to take care of everything and he wouldn't take no for an answer."
    "How much did everything cost?"
    "Not sure. Everything was delivered, and I didn't ask.
    "I hope it doesn't hurt him financially."
    "No. It won't."
    "How do you know? He makes peanuts working at the school mom."
    "Him and his family are worth billions of dollars Lizzy. I did a Google search on him"
    "Millions... Not billions."
    "No Lizzy. Billions."
    "You Googled Michael?"
    "No. He told me to Googled his mom, and yeah! They own France."
    "Oh. Okay. Well I'm jumping in the shower now."
    "Still want to get your hair cut today?"
    "Oh! That's right! Yeah, I do."
    "Okay! Hurry up and jump in the shower and we'll get going."

    I figured Michael had money. Why he would deny it is beyond me! He told me a lot of things that don't make sense to me right now. Another thing! Why tell my mom and not me? It makes me wonder what else he's keeping from me. Like his friend Regan, and why does she need him. I saw the look he gave Sadie. It was a shut the fuck up look. So that alone makes me think Regan is more than just a friend. For all I know she could be his wife or something retarded. He kept the money thing a secret, so maybe she is his wife and Sadie is covering for him. But why would she cover for Michael? She doesn't even know me so she doesn't need to spare my feelings. Whatever! I don't want all this on my mind right now! I did, however, Google Michael's mom, and yeah! He owns France. But still! Why lie!? Ug! Fuck my life right now!


    "This house is a good size. A little bit outdated, the fireplace is nasty."
    "The fireplace is horrible! Maybe I can get it redone or something. The real eye sore is this kitchen. I'm afraid to even touch the counters."
    "You're a woman. Get to scrubbing!"
    "Shut up! Overall, I like it. Two bedrooms and a bathroom. Great price, perfect for Beth and I."
    "It's bigger than your house back home."
    "My house is custom. I love it. Then Beth came along and I had to convert the upstairs. But I like this house."
    "All right. Let's go fill out this paperwork and get your keys."

    This house Sadie picked out is defiantly a fixer-upper. Like she said, It's perfect for her and Beth. Like myself, money isn't an issue for Sadie. She is family. Dad's side, her mom is my dad's sister. My dad made a lot of money when he was younger and he made sure his family was taken care of. At the same time, he never forgot where he came from. He never let the money go to his head. Yeah, my parents live in a nice house right on the beach. Just a nice four-bedroom house, the same one I grew up in. He drove the same car for as long as I can remember. My point is, he doesn't throw his money around. My parents live comfortable. They travel in the summer every year, and that's about it. This year they ended up not traveling because of some issues there, but they seem to have it under control.

    "So, I have to ask. Will I be able to replace anything in the house?"

    Sadie's ideas are already running.

    "I am aware the house is a bit outdated. I suppose you can upgrade and change things. Just make sure it stays in code. Just in case I have to do an expectation on the house."
    "Of course. So, are we all done here?"
    "We are. Here are the keys. Feel free to change the locks if it gives you peace of mind."

    Done! I have to say it's been an eventful day. A damn good day actually. Everything I ordered online for Amanda showed up first thing this morning. I was expecting a few days at the least. The window people got everything done. A good day.

    "Hey mom!? Can we get a swing set and a pool?"
    "A swing set yes, a pool? I don't know. What if we get you a small kid pool?"
    "Or! We can fill up a trash can with water and you can play in that."
    "That's gross Michael."
    "I don't wanna swim in the trash Uncle Mike."
    "Noooo! We'll buy you a new can."
    "But mom! A new can!"
    "No Beth."
    "Come on Red. We did that before when we were little. Do you not remember?"
    "No, I do remember."

    I pull out my phone to see who called while I was filling out paperwork. I got nervous when I saw the missed call was from Elizabeth. She didn't leave a voice mail, so I sent her a quick text saying I was sorry for missing her call and asked if everything was all right. The only response I got from her was a web link to a page about my family. Okay! I thought I was nervous before. I am defiantly nervous now. I send another text asking if it's okay to call.

    "No. I'm with my mom getting a hair cut. We WILL talk later."


    "I can't believe we spent three hours at the hospital and they tell you that you don't need stitches and they use skin glue on you."
    "We could've saved all the time and went to the store and bought super glue. You do know the shit they used is basically super glue right?"
    "Yes. I know."
    "All you women say you're right about everything."
    "No! I said I don't like the idea of you putting super glue on your head Jacob. But you were right you didn't need stitches. I wonder if they gave Blaine stitches"
    "Fuck him. He deserved what he got."
    "What he needed was a good ass kicking. Not to get his face cut open."
    "Are you mad I cut the dudes face?"
    "No, not at all. I'm just saying there's other ways you could've defended Devin and I is all."
    "When I'm pushed over that line, like last night, there's nothing I could've said that would've proved my point."
    "Your point was?"
    "Don't fuck with my girl!"
    "Ah! I see. That makes me happy. I mean, what you did was super messed up and maybe I should be scared of you. But I'm not. I have never been with anyone who would go to such lengths to protect me."
    "As long as you're with me ain't shit ever gonna happen to you."
    "Aww! My knight in shinny armor."
    "Whatever. I need to stop by my house. Shower, change my clothes, and face my Uncle."
    "You want to take me home first?"
    "No, I'm hopin' if you're with me he won't tear me a new one as bad."
    "Wow! Okay, whatever. But I have to work today. So we have to be back at my house before 3 so I can get ready."
    "All right."
    "Oh! And if Hayden isn't home I'll need a ride to work."
    "What's wrong with your car?"
    "Nothing. I left everything in my sister's car last night. Remember, you had to pick the lock on the door last night."
    "Okay, I can swing that. I won't be able to pick you up. I'm goin' to Nitro to run this car, I need to see how far she can been pushed."
    "That's fine. I'll get a hold of Hayden and have her pick me up."

    I wonder what Hayden thinks about what Jacob did last night. I have to admit, it did scare the crap out of me. At the same time, I was like WOW! Oden was right. Jacob is loyal. His friends are his family, and he doesn't respect people messing with us. With me.

    "Can I ask you something Jacob?"
    "What's your family like back home."
    "Typical middle class family. Nothin' fancy or anything."
    "Are you from the slums like Blaine said?"
    "Yeah, kind of. My house is a two-bedroom apartment on the back side of town that's considered the slums."
    "Yeah, I have a brother who's disabled."
    "How so?"
    "That's seizers right?"
    "How old is he?"
    "He was two."
    "He had a seizer in his sleep one night and didn't wake up."
    "Wow, I'm sorry. How long ago did this happen?"
    "It'll be five years next month."
    "He was still a baby. That's so sad."
    "Yep. Why the sudden interest in my family?"
    "Well, we talk about me a lot and never you. There's things I don't know about you, and you are my boyfriend now. I want to know more about you."
    "Fair enough. Can I ask you somethin' now?"
    "Of course."
    "What's your dad like."
    "That's a sore subject Jacob. But to answer your question. My dad is an alcoholic."
    "Dev told me about your dad."
    "Then why did you ask?"
    "Wanted to hear it from you. Does he really beat the fuck out of your mom?"
    "Yes. It's become a daily routine for him."
    "He ever hit you?"
    "Yes. Hayden too. More Hayden than me, he raped her when she was thirteen."

    All of a sudden Jacob slams on his brakes, causing the seat belt to lock and burn my chest a little bit.

    "What the hell Jacob? The seat belt locked and hurt me."
    "Your own dad? Does Ode know about this?"
    "Yes, he knows."
    "He do anything about it?"
    "Not at first. But then he beat the crap out of him with a crowbar in the parking lot of some bar."
    "Did he ever do that to you?"
    "No. He loves Hayden."
    "No, that's not fuckin' love Melissa."
    "I know. She left the first chance she got. She was never going to come back."
    "You do know if this happens again, Ode will kill your dad. He has a gun, I've seen it!"
    "My dad is afraid of Oden."
    "He fuckin' should be! He should be afraid of me too."
    "Are you going to cut my dad up?"

    Jacob gave me an odd look because of the way I asked my question.

    "I won't care. I want to watch as you do it."
    "Whoa! The fuck is this comin' from?"
    "He hurts my mom Jacob. She's like 5'0 and 100 pounds! She's the nicest woman in the world, give you her last dollar if you needed it. She deserves better. I'm fucking done with this conversation!"

    I put my face in my hands and started crying. My mom is my world, she protected me as much as she could. Hayden too, she tried and tried. But my father wouldn't allow it. That's why Hayden hates them both.

    "I didn't mean to hurt you when I hit the brakes Melissa." Jacob says as he grabs my thigh and squeezes it. "I'm sorry."

    At this point I'm crying so hard that no noise is coming out at all. Just tears.

    "Melissa! Calm down, you're freakin' me out over here. Take a deep breath. I'm sorry I asked about your dad. Please relax."
    "No one knows. Not my mom, not Hayden."
    "Knows what?"

    I move my hair to the side and rub my finger on a freshly healed scar on my hair to show Jacob. Then he rubs his finger over it.

    "I've never seen that one before."
    "My dad cut me with a box cutter."
    "Three months ago."
    "Is that why you didn't wanna see me for like two weeks?"
    "Why didn't you tell me?"
    "I don't know. I should have."
    "Yeah, you should of. Anything else?
    "The scar on my side I said I got from catching my side on the counter. He said if I told anyone he did this to me, he would come back and use the box cutter on me in a way where I would never have kids again. I got scared and told no one."

    I look over at Jacob and his eyes changed. Just like they did last night.

    "Jacob, please say something."
    "I changed my mind. You shouldn't of told me."
    "Are you going to leave me?"
    "No. Why would you think I would leave you?"
    "Because I lied to you when I should've told you the truth. I'm so sorry."

    I was relieved when Jacob looked at me and the green in his eye was gone.

    "Nothin' is gonna happen to you as long as you're with me Melissa. I said this already and I fuckin' mean it. I'm mad as shit right now, but not at all at you. I just hate seeing you cry, you're the best girl I've even met. I thought my ex back home was the best. Nope. I promise you if he even looks at you in a way I don't fuckin' like, I'll give him a nice scar like Blaine. Ode can handle him with Hayden. I got you."
    "You're making me fall in love with you."
    "Good. I already know I love you."
    "I said I love you Melissa."
    "I am so glad you said it first. I didn't want to and scared you away."
    "How long?"
    "About a month or so. Then last night, after everything happen. I was like, yup! I love my man."
    "You gonna leave me hangin' here?"
    "I love you too, Jacob."
    "Cool. Can we go now?"
    "Onward to Uncle Jim's!"


    "I already know the answer to this, but I am asking you anyway. Where did you put my panties?"
    "I have no idea what the fuck you're talkin' about Hayd."
    "Of course you don't. Are they somewhere so that Kim won't find them?"
    "Yup. Plus Kim is never in my car anyway."

    You ever been with someone that makes the world stop moving? Hayd does that to me. I could never get over this woman, no matter how hard I tried. Like a rubber band stretched to it's limit, and then I'd be flung back.

    "Do you still have my grandma's ring?"

    She grabs her purse out of the front seat, unzips the small pocket on the inside and pulls out my grandma's wedding ring.

    "It's always with me Ode."
    "Give it to me."
    "No! It's mine now."
    "I'll give it back Hayd. Promise."
    "Fine. Here."

    I read the encryption on the inside out loud.

    "Para mi único y verdadero amor."
    "For my one and only true love."
    "Do you still want to marry me Hayd?"
    "Maybe if you ask me again, I might say yes again."
    "Do I have to get down on one knee like last time?"
    "No. Not unless you want to."
    "I don't want to."
    "Then don't."
    "I won't! Fuck!... I love that smile."
    "You make me happy Ode. What else can I say?"
    "Marry me Hayd."
    "Okay I'll marry you."
    "Right now."
    "Marry me right now. Let's go down to City Hall and do it."
    "Are you serious?"
    "As a heart attack. If you want a big reception, we can do that later."
    "I don't need a big reception. All I need is you Ode."
    "Marry me right now."
    "Can we stop and get me a pair of jeans and a top first?"
    "Okay. Yeah! Yes... Let's go get married. My ring please."
    "Hold out your hand so I can put it on you."
    "You're going to be Mr. Hayden Toledo."
    "I don't give a fuck!"


    I called that boy five times. He better have a good excuse this time. Well, at least he didn't destroy the house while I was gone. Looks like he wasn't even here, knowing him he wasn't. Out fucking around as usual. I was just about to redial his number when my phone rang.

    "What it do Uncle Jimmy?"
    "I told you what time I'd be home and I expected you to be here."
    "I know. I stayed at my girl's house then she made me go to the hospital. Sorry."
    "Your girls house?"
    "Yes. Melissa. She moved and asked me to help. I helped her then I stayed the night."
    "The Hospital?"
    "Yeah, about that. Don't be pissed off."
    "What did you do?"
    "I kind of wrecked my car."

    I took the phone away from my head and had to take a deep breath. Don't yell at him Jim. He's okay, he's alive.

    "How bad?"
    "I won't get her back for about a month or so, but it's being taken care of. No money out of your pocket. I swear."
    "How did you wreck it?"
    "Me and a kid from school were racin', he got made because I was winning. He clipped my rear end and sent me into a tree, sent him into one too."
    "Right, I got a mean gash on my head. I was gonna use super glue. But Melissa said no, you need stitches. Three hours later, they ended up using skin glue on me."
    "Who's paying for your car?"
    "Dev's brother. He's good friends with Scott. The owner of Sid's Garage in town. He said he would fix it. So! He's fixing it."
    "Anyone hurt?"
    "No. Not really, scraps and cuts. But everyone is alive and kicking."
    "What are you going to drive until your car is fixed?"
    "Scott gave me a loaner."
    "What kind?"
    "If you look out the kitchen window you'll see it. I'm pullin' in now."

    I hang up the phone and stand at the kitchen window to see this car. Another Mustang. Yeah, he might fuck this one up too.

    "Another Mustang!"
    "Yep. She's sexy right?"
    "I honestly didn't like the first one."
    "Yeah, yeah I know."
    "Are you planning on calling my sister, your mother, and telling her about the car?"
    "No. She's not gone forever. I'm gettin' her back Jim."
    "That's not the point Jacob. Your parents worked their asses off, and put money in the bank every week from the day they found out she was pregnant. Car at fifteen, college when you graduate."
    "I know this already."
    "That's a $50,000 car you fucked up! Do you know any other fifteen year old kid who drives a brand new car fresh off the show room floor?"
    "No. Why am I gettin' beat down right now Jim? Look at me! I'm alive, the other kid is alive. What the fuck man?"
    "Take the car back. You can drive mine for the time being."
    "I don't want to drive the Range Rover."
    "I don't want to have to pay for that car outside if you wreck it."
    "I'm not goin' to! One fuck up! One! And now you think I can't drive at all?"
    "I don't want you to be responsible for that car if something happens to it Jacob. That's all! I know you can drive. Please, take the car back and drive the Rover."
    "What man!?"
    "Nothing. Go do whatever you want."
    "That's it?"
    "What do you want me to do? Ground you? That never works now does it?"
    "I do everything you ask Jim. I'm honest with you, I call and check in regularly. I fucked up! I'm sorry."
    "Yeah, I just can't deal with you right now Jacob. So please, just go and do something."
    "Are you sending me away? Be honest."
    "No. I got a lot of shit on my plate right now, and I don't want to argue with you anymore. So go. If you take off make sure you call so I know you're alive. Go!"
    "Whatever man. Melissa, you want to come up and chill in my room? Or you can stay down here."
    "I'll stay down here."
    "All right. I won't be long."

    Jacob and Melissa are dating. All I have to say is finally. Pretty much ever since he got here he wanted this girl but never had it in him to talk to her. Which is odd because he has never had an issue talking to girls. Makes me wonder what he's going to do after graduation and goes home. I don't see Melissa wanting to go to Oakland.

    "Feel free to make yourself at home Ms. Toledo. Fridge is there, T.V is there."
    "Thank you. We aren't in school, you don't have to call me Ms. Toledo. Melissa is fine."
    "Fuuuuuuckin' Bitch, whore!" Jacob yells from the bathroom upstairs.
    "Excuse me Principle Hands."
    "Jim… Jacob?! Did you use alcohol to clean your face when I told you to use peroxide?"

    After thirty seconds of silence he responds.

    "No!... Yeah!"
    "Wow. So Jim you're an older guy. Do men ever learn the woman is right most of the time?"
    "I wish I could say yes. But no, we never learn."
    "I don't think I ever seen you in a tee shirt. You have a lot of tattoos for a principle."
    "Yeah, from my party days you can say. Not too much I can do about them now."
    "Suits you. You do ride a motorcycle."
    "Sadly I'll be retiring my bike here pretty soon."
    "Why is that?"
    "The woman I been seeing is pregnant, and I don't think she wants me having it."
    "Congratulations on the baby."
    "Thank you. How are you doing after everything, if you don't mind me asking."
    "I'm doing really good. I just moved into Almaden Heights with my sister. After months of fooling around with Jacob, we finally made it official. I love him. Being around him just makes all my problems go away."
    "I know what it feels like to have someone in your life that makes your problems go away. Or to be the one who does if for another."
    "You have heartache?"
    "No. The woman I'm seeing does. Her husband died a little over 2 years ago. She was so lost when I met her. Here we are a year later. She's having my baby and she's going to be my wife."
    "Oh! You're engaged to her?"
    "Yes. I asked her over the weekend."
    "You're what?" Jacob says behind me.
    "I asked Mandy to marry me over the weekend."
    "No shit? Nice. A baby and a wife. You're winning Uncle Jimmy."
    "His baby mama is Liz's mom."
    "Is it really?"
    "That's cool. You look funny with your hair down. You need to pull it back."
    "He needs to get rid of those damn things."
    "I like my hair."
    "I don't."
    "My Uncle Jim don't like anything."
    "You should get rid of those."
    "You've seen my hair Jim. I am not taking them out."
    "Why?" Melissa asks.
    "I have a picture."
    "Please no Jim."
    "Oh! I want to see!"

    I pull out my wallet, then the picture of Jacob from about five or so years ago and hand it to Melissa.

    "Thanks Jim."
    "Wow! You have curly hair. Is this your brother?"
    "What? Let me see that picture... Yeah, I haven't seen this picture in years. This was taken right before his second birthday."
    "Yep, your mom sent it to me. Keep it if you want it."
    "Yeah, thanks."
    "Miles loved the hell out you."
    "I know. He would cry and cry in his crib. I would get him out and put him in bed with me at night. And boom, out just like that."
    The saddest lose in my family is when my sister lost her baby boy. He was her miracle baby. She has issues while she was pregnant with Jacob, he ended up being born seven weeks early. He pulled through. Looking at him today standing 6'3 you'd never guess he was a premature baby. The doctor said she wouldn't be able to get pregnant again, and when she did, there was issue after issue. Miles was also born prematurely. That and all the issues during her pregnancy was the cause of his disabilities he had.

    "Jacob Alexander Sullivan: Age 13, Miles Cole Sullivan: Age 2." Melissa reads out loud.
    "Miles... I love that name."
    "It's my grandpa's name. Miles Alexander Hands."
    "Your mom and Jim are the only two kids?"
    "Yup. Just mommy and Jimmy."
    "Jacob is a mamas boy."
    "Fuck you. I love my mommy."
    "Hence the mamas boy."
    "Whatever. You wanna hit this here pipe Uncle Jimmy?"
    "Sure. Why not."
    "Principle Hands smokes weed."
    "Naw. Not really. He'll smoke with me like once a month."
    "Please, don't go around telling your friends at school Ms. Toledo."
    "I have no idea what you're talking about Jim. Tell them what?"
    "I'm sorry. What are you talking about?"
    "Well it's after two. Are you ready to get goin'?"
    "Yep. It was really nice talking with you Jim. Congratulations again."
    "Thank you."
    "If I'm not home tonight I'll be at her place."
    "That's fine. You got school tomorrow, so don't stay out fucking around too late."
    "I won't. See you later Uncle Jimmy."
    "Bye Jim."


    I really do love this picture Jim gave to Jacob. It's so sad he had a brother who died so young. But Jacobs curly hair! Ah! I love it!

    "Where do you want me to put this picture for the time Babe?"
    "Glove box."
    "I want to see your hair out of the dreads and in its curly glory."
    "You will eventually. I get them redone every other month or so. Oh, and by the way. Is there someone at your work who does them?"
    "Yes. There's a colored woman named Monique who does all ethnic hair. Braids, twists, weave, and dreads."
    "She charge a lot?"
    "It all depends on the length of your hair really."
    "All right."
    "Where did the curly hair come from? Mom or dad?"
    "My dad. He has black people hair."
    "Your dad is black?"
    "Yeah. I'm an Oreo."
    "You're stupid!"
    "My mom is white with red hair like Jim, and I got the fucked off hair."
    "I want to see it!"
    "You will. I'll tell you what, when I get them redone I'll make sure it's on a day you work. Fair enough?"
    "Yes. So.... It's true what they say."
    "Red-headed women are into black men."
    "It's a stereotype. And no, I don't like grape kool-aid."
    "I have red hair and you're half black."
    "What are your parents’ names?"
    "Cole and Aubrey. Your mom is Anna, what your dad name?"
    "Ryan. How tall are you?"
    "6'3. How tall are you?"
    "5'0. I'm tiny!"
    "That doesn't bother my at all. Anything else?"
    "Your ex back home. How long were you two a couple for?"
    "Uh, a little over a year."
    "Why did you guys break up?"
    "She got scared of me after I did something bad."
    "Oh? What did you do?"

    He told me the story he had told Devin. About cutting this kids face for taking advantage of his girlfriend and then being sent to a juvenile boot camp.

    "So you protected her. Like me basically and she became scared of you? That makes no sense to me."
    "It is what it is. I like the fact you're not at all scared of me. Even after cutting open Blaine's face and pretty much torturing him. I thought you were gone for sure. But you're not. You're still here."
    "I have to admit, your eyes scare me when you're mad. Have you ever seen them?"
    "No. People told me they turn a crazy green color."
    "They do. They scare me. You do not scare me. I love the feeling of being protected. Because growing up I was never really safe."
    "Are you ever going to tell me the whole story about you growing up?"
    "You know it Jacob. Mom who believes marriage is forever, and dad who gets drunk and beats on his wife and kids. That's pretty much it."
    "Okay, so I have to ask. How the fuck did you and Dev end up fuckin'? You don't even like him."
    "I like Devin! Kind of, he has a big mouth. But anyway, it was right after Hayden and Oden left. He was upset because Oden was his only friend, and I was upset because both Oden and Hayden protected me from my dad. Two sad friends, one thing led to another, and we ended up having sex. It was my first time, and it was his. It was so horrible."
    "You guys only had sex the one time?"
    "Yeah. How many girls have you slept with?"
    "Including you. Seven."
    "How many from school."
    "Four. Including you. How many guys have you been with?"
    "Including you! Three."
    "Really? Only three?"
    "Yeah. I'm a good girl Jacob. I don't sleep around."
    "You do some kinky shit in bed for someone who has only been with three guys."
    "Well, number two taught me a thing or two I guess. I'm willing to try things too. Hint hint Jacob."
    "Hint hint what? What do you want to try?"
    "Anal... I made you blush!"
    "I know! So anal huh?"
    "Yeah! Have you ever done it?"
    "I have not."
    "Do it with me."
    "I'm already excited to try it. Look, feel!"
    "Put it away! We are like two minutes from my work."
    "Damn you woman!"

    I hate that I have to work now! That conversation got us both excited! He's going to have to just wait. He is planning to stay at my house tonight.

    "Can I please you your phone before you leave? I need to call Hayden."
    "Is she gonna be pissed I picked the lock on your door?"
    "No. Phone please."

    After handing me his phone, he sits on the hood of the Mustang and pulls me close between his legs. One of my co-workers, Monique knocks on the window and gives me two thumbs up when I look back at her.

    "Hayden, It's me."
    "Who's phone is this?"
    "Jacobs. He just dropped me off at work."
    "I'm busy right now Milly."
    "Okay. Ill be quick. I left everything in your car last night. Keys, wallet, phone, I need you to stop by on the way home and give me my things. And you'll need to pick me up from work too."
    "Okay Milly. I'll talk to you when I get there."
    "Thank you."
    "You're welcome."
    "That was weird." I say handing the phone back to Jacob.
    "She didn't have any plans today and she said she was busy."
    "Something probably came up."
    "Yeah. Okay, I need to get in there. Kiss!"
    "No! Give me a kiss."
    "Oh! Give you a kiss. Okay."

    That smile and his kisses. I love them! Oh! And his curly hair. 


    I feel so much better after that shower. It's been over a week since I've had a dream about my dad. Looking at all those old pictures defiantly did it. I can't seem to think straight right now. I need to call Michael... And voice mail. Whatever, I'll talk to him later when my mom goes to dinner with Jim.

    "You almost ready in there Lizzy?"
    "Yeah mom. I'm getting dressed right now."

    Well, I see my mom got a window man to put up the new T.V. It's bigger than our old one. Nice!

    "What do you think of the new T.V Lizzy?"
    "I like it. Michael got everything matching too."
    "It's a HD T.V too! I noticed he got everything matching as well. Makes me wonder if he's, you know. Boys never match!"
    "I don't think he's gay mom. Sadie could've picked everything out."
    "You're probably right. Are we all ready to go?"

    Michael gay? Okay mom! Just because a guy matches and has nice things doesn't mean he's gay. I know for a fact he isn't, but I can't really tell my mom that can I? I'm still trying to think about what I want done with my hair. I honestly would like to go shorter, but I am going to keep it long for Michael. I do like the idea of layers. Layers is the only thing I can think of really. Well! Layers it is!

    "Hi! Welcome to Crystal cuts, what can we do for you ladies today?"
    "Melissa? I had no idea you worked here."
    "Yeah, don't worry I don't cut hair. So, what are we wanting to get done today?"
    "What kind of haircut can I get but keeping it long?"
    "My opinion. I would cut off about four or five inches and get it layered. You have a lot of hair, but it's flat. Layers will make it look fuller, and I think it will look good."
    "I was thinking layers to make it look fuller."
    "Yeah, what about you? Any idea of what you would like?"
    "Get something sexy mommy."
    "I just want a simple cut. A few inches off and I want my roots touched up."
    "Oh! Um, you can't get any kind of color while you're pregnant. The chemicals in the dye are actually harmful to your baby. I'm sorry."
    "What? How do you know my mom is pregnant?"
    "Jim told me. I was at his house today with Jacob. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."
    "No, no, It's fine. Thank you for saying something, I didn't know it could harm my baby. Just a few inches off will be just fine.
    "Okay! We have a special this week, if you get a cut of any kind, we can do you brows for half off. If you're interested."
    "No, I'm fine. Lizzy?"
    "Huh? Sorry texting. What?"
    "Get a haircut and get your eyebrows done for half off."
    "Oooo! Yeah! Fix my brows."
    "All right. You guys are all set. You can have a seat right over there and we'll call you back in a few minutes."

    Melissa look really good for just having a baby. She is one of those girls who was all baby, so when she had the baby she was just as skinny as she was before she got pregnant. Freak of nature! I hope when I have kids I'm all baby and no fat too!

    "Melissa? Can I ask you something?"
    "What's up with you and Jacob?"
    "Jacob is my boyfriend. Why?"
    "Just curious. The things he said about you, him and Devin. I would think you two weren't friends or anything."
    "I know everything Jacob has said about me. It was never really anything bad Liz. Now Devin! He has a big mouth. He doesn't think before the words fly out of his mouth."
    "If Devin's ears weren't fucking retarded I'd think he's cute."

    Melissa and I both laugh our ass off at that remark. But it's true! His ears are dumb!

    "You have no idea Liz. If you think Devin is at all cute, you should see his brother. OH! MY! GOD!"
    "Yeah! When he takes his shirt off! It takes your breath away."
    "Look at you! Talking about Devin's brother, you have a boyfriend!"
    "Hey! I'm allowed to look. Look at you! Saying Devin is kind of cute. Don't you have a boyfriend?"
    "Who said that?"
    "Jacob. He said he asked you out, and you said no because you have a boyfriend."
    "Oh, well, I am allowed to look to damn it!"
    "I'm telling you! Man candy. Devin's brother."
    "I need to meet him. I like man candy."
    "Don't we all? You can always come and hang out at my place. Devin is my neighbor, so you'll get to see his brother for sure."
    "You know I been here for close to a year and you're the first one, well besides Jacob who has asked me to hang out."
    "No offense. But you look like you could use a friend."
    "Yeah! I could actually. Thanks Melissa."
    "Oh! I'm up first!"

    New hair? Check! Eyebrows? Check-a-roony! First thing first! My eyebrows hurt like hell! I thought they were going to use wax or something. They used little ropes and yanked my shit out!

    "You okay Liz?" Melissa asks from behind the counter.
    "My eyebrows effing hurt."
    "Yeah, the threading sucks, but look at them! They are perfect."
    "I need ice."
    "God forbid you get a bikini wax one day Lizzy."
    "No! I use nair. Smooth as a baby butt."
    "I didn't need to know that about my daughter."
    "You both look great."
    "Thank you!"
    "What do we owe again?"
    "Lets see. Simple cut $10, cut with layers $20, and brows is $25."
    "$55 mom."
    "Yeah. Your total is $55."
    "You take credit?"
    "We sure do."

    My mom hands over her visa and shakes her head as she closes her purse.

    "You okay mom?"
    "I'm fine Lizzy."
    "Your hair looks good."
    "Thank you honey. So does yours. I'm regretting not getting my brows done. Yours are amazing now."
    "Thank you!"
    "Here you are Mrs. Sanders. You have to sign here and you'll be all done."
    "I'll be out in a minute mom."
    "All right Lizzy."

    What's wrong with my mom?

    "Hey what's your number?" I ask Melissa as I wave my phone around.
    "559-7283. I don't have my phone on me, but send me a text so I'll have yours."
    "Okay... Text is sent!"
    "Cool. I'll text you a picture of Devin's brother later. If he lets me take one."
    "Stalker photo!"
    "Like through his window?"
    "No! He's a nice guy. He'll let me take one."
    "Cool. Okay, I have to go, but text me and we can set something up to hang out this week."
    "Sounds good."
    "See ya!"
    "Bye. Have a nice day."
    "You too."

    Cool I have a friend. She was right, I do need one.


    My stomach is killing me right now. I'm extremely nervous to go home and face Elizabeth. I need to listen to my mom and just suck it up and come out with everything. Stop being a pussy and just fucking do it.

    "Hey Michael, I have a question about Elizabeth."
    "Does she have an afterschool job?"
    "No. Why?"
    "Do you think she would be up to watching Beth for a few hours after school on Mondays?"
    "I don't know Red. I'll ask her if you want."
    "Tell her I'll pay her $20 an hour."
    "I'll let you know. I need to head home. I don't feel good at all right now."
    "You look like you're about to vomit. Are you alright?"
    "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm going to talk to Elizabeth, and I'm just fucking nervous as hell. Made my stomach hurt."
    "All right. Good luck, oh the rug! It's in the back of my car. Don't forget to grab it."
    "That's right. Yeah, I'll grab it. I'll call you later.
    "Okay. I hope you feel better.
    "Me too. Tell Beth bye for me."
    "I will if I can find her. That backyard is huge."
    "See ya Red."

    It's been a long time since I've been so nervous it made me sick. The last time happen was nearly thirteen years ago when Regan came around. I couldn't handle it anymore, I had to pull over and puke.

    "Pull yourself together Michael. Damn it relax!"

    I like things the way they are. I don't want to lose Elizabeth, I also don't want to hurt her. I just hope my mom is right, and she usually is. I just need to relax and get it over with. Face it straight on and fucking do it. Simple! I also need gum. Pulling up at home and seeing Amanda's car made me feel sick all over again. shake it off, and grab the rug out of the trunk.

    "Hey Michael."
    "Hey, your hair looks good."
    "Thank you. What's this?"
    "A new rug. Sadie insisted and picked it out. So if you hate it you can't be mad at me."
    "I won't be mad at anyone. Come in and lets see it."
    "You and Elizabeth put up the T.V."
    "God no! It was too heavy. I had a window guy do it before he left."
    "I would've done it. Wait! Don't move the couch, I got it."
    "I'm pregnant Michael. Not made of glass. Grab that end and help."

    We get everything moved out of the way and roll out the carpet, when I hear a bedroom door close. I knew it was Elizabeth. I didn't have the balls to look up at her. So, I didn't.

    "Lizzy! New rug."
    "Nice. I'm jumping in the shower, I'm all hair cut itchy."
    "Okay. I'll be leaving here in a few minutes."
    "Will you be home later?"
    "Probably. I'll call if I end up staying over with Jim. Jacob has a new girlfriend and he doesn't know if he'll be home tonight or not. But I'll call you."
    "Jacob is dating Melissa. The girl from the hair place. OH! By the way! She said if I wanted to I could go over to her place and hang out sometime this week after school. Is that okay?"
    "Yeah, just let me know. Please, if Jacob is around don't smoke pot with him."
    "I had no idea Jacob smoked pot. Plus, I favor beer and vodka. We both know this mom."
    "Yeah, let's not get back into that habit Elizabeth."
    "I won't. Okay! Shower time! Have a nice dinner then have fun poking my brother or sister with Jim's wee wee."
    "Elizabeth! Go away!"
    "Ah! I made you laugh though!"

    Elizabeth favors beer and vodka. Now I see why Amanda asked me if she was passed out drunk last night.

    "Sorry about that Michael."
    "It's fine. I had no idea Elizabeth used to drink."
    "It was a few years ago. Believe it or not Lizzy was the popular girl. Head cheerleader with the quarterback boyfriend, a beautiful dancer. Popular girl was always at all the parties. Then her father died and everything stopped. She quit cheer, partying, drinking, and dancing. The one thing that broke my heart was when she stopped dancing. She loved it with a passion."
    "How long did she dance for?"
    "Since she was four. Ballet, tap, jazz, ballroom, Latin. She did it all."
    "That's amazing. The only dance I know is the Waltz and I suck at it."
    "I have no rhythm either! I have no idea where she got it from. Well, I hate to do this but I need to get going. Mind moving everything back for me?"
    "Of course. Are you okay with the rug?"
    "Yes, I actually love it. Be sure to tell Sadie thank you next time you talk to her."
    "I will."

    Now I know where Elizabeth got her amazing legs from. She's a dancer. Okay, Michael stop thinking about her legs. You were asked to move everything back, so let's move everything back.

    "Do you need help with the couch?"
    "No, I got it Beautiful."
    "It's not in the right spot."
    "It's not?"
    "No. It needs to go to the right more. The long piece should be center with the T.V."
    "Okay. Maybe I do need help."
    "Are you gonna look at me Michael? You're talking to the floor. Check out my new pixie cut!"

    I turn around to look at Elizabeth, prepared to see her with shorter hair than me.

    "Do you like it?"
    "Yes. You kept it long."
    "You asked me to Michael. Sit down, let's talk."
    "You're making me nervous Beautiful."
    "Why? We're just gonna talk."
    "Okay. What are we going to talk about?"
    "Let's talk about you."
    "All right."
    "Why did you tell me you weren't rich when you're actually stinky ass rich?
    "I didn't want you to like me for my money."
    "I don't. You could be as broke as me and I'd still love you the same."

    Slowly starting to calm down.

    "It's just I've had a lot of girl's date me only because of my money. I'm sorry."
    "The night in France, when you found me downstairs in the kitchen. I wondered around the house for a while, looking at all the pictures and what not on the walls. Did you want me to see those things or did you completely forget my best subject in school is math?"
    "I didn't think you'd be paying any attention to the things hanging on the walls of my parent's house."
    "Why did you lie about your age?"
    "No idea."
    "Come on Michael! Fucking talk to me."
    "I wanted you. I didn't think you would want to be with someone damn near ten years older than you."
    "I hung out with you before I even knew your age. The age thing doesn't matter to me either."
    "Why didn't you say anything when you realized my real age?"
    "Because I don't care. What I do care about is the fact you lied to me Michael."
    "I'm sorry. What else can I say? I fucked up."
    "Tell me everything about you."
    "Okay. I'm rich as fuck, I am twenty-seven not twenty-four, I live in a big ass house on the beach with a pool that star fish like to get into. My mom's family owns a good piece of France, my dad is just as rich as her. Combined, my parents and myself are worth close to 4.6 billion, if not more. I own four cars, I don't know why but I do, and I play the piano. That's pretty much it, unless you want to know my shoe size. Anything else just ask."
    "You have star fish in your pool?"
    "Yeah. It's a saltwater pool. They like it."
    "Tell me about Regan."


    "I'm not ready to talk to you about Regan."
    "Is she your wife?"
    "Ex wife?"
    "No. She will never be my wife. It's complicated Beautiful. Please, just leave it at that."
    "Just tell me Michael."
    "Please don't push this Elizabeth. My mom is coming out next weekend and Regan is coming with her, you'll meet her then. Just drop it."
    "No! You've lied enough. Fucking tell me!"

    Just do it Michael. Tell her about Regan. Mom said to come clean. Just say it.

    "I can't. I need to go. I'm sorry."
    "You're not going anywhere until you tell me."
    "I am begging you to drop it Elizabeth."
    "If you don't tell me right now. Our relationship is done, over, and for real this time."
    "Tell me damn it!"
    "Regan is my fucking daughter! There! I said it. Happy now?"
    "Regan is your what?!"
    "My daughter."
    "Oh! I'm gonna throw up. You told me you never wanted kids. You have a kid!"
    "I know."
    "How old is she?"
    "She's thirteen."
    "She was born when you were just fourteen?"
    "I had just turned fifteen."
    "You have a daughter who's five years younger than me. Okay! Give me a minute to process this."
    "I told you to let it go Beautiful. I begged you."
    "Shush! Yeah... I'm not okay with this. You need to go Michael."
    "GO! Please, just go."
    "All right, I'm leaving."

    That went really bad.


    This has to be one of the longest work days of my life. I'm usually on my phone messing around to pass time when we aren't busy. Here I am, sitting here looking at the same hair book I've looked at 100 times already. I feel like I need a nap. Jacob and I were sleeping great till Devin's murderous scream woke us up. Speaking of Devin! I can't believe Liz think he's cute. I won't lie, Devin isn't bad looking at all. He just has a really big mouth.

    "So, who was that cute boy in the old Mustang who dropped you off today?" Crystal asks as she sits down next to me.
    "My boyfriend."
    "He looks like he got in one hell of a fight recently."
    "Something like that."
    "Who won?"
    "He did."
    "You all right? Not very talkative today."
    "I'm fine. I'm just tired. I had a late night and I didn't get to sleep in this morning. Noisy neighbors."
    "Well, that's apartment life for you. Hang in there, only a few more hours to go. I need to go check on my client in my dryer."

    As she gets up, I see my sister pull into the parking lot. Finally!

    "Hey Crystal, is it okay if I step out for a minute? My sister is here."
    "Sure. Don't be to long, you're still on the clock."
    "All right. Thank you… About time! I've been bored out of my mind without my phone Hayden."
    "I'm sorry Milly. I was busy."
    "Doing what? You had no plans today, you said you were going to unpack more stuff."
    "Me and Ode got married."
    "You're what?"
    "Me and Ode got married Milly."
    "No, no. I heard you. But what?"
    What the hell! Why didn't she call me here at work? I would've loved to have been there to see her get married! Ug!

    "Spur of the moment thing. Apparently Kim and Julius are sleeping together, and we just said fuck it! Let's do it. You're not happy for me?"
    "I'm very happy for you Hayden. I would've liked to have been there to see you get married is all."
    "Ode didn't even call Devin or his parents. No one needs to know just yet. But we need to talk. New York."
    "What about it?"
    "You're still coming with me right?"
    "Yes, of course."
    "Okay! Ode and I were talking, he's coming too. But I told him Devin is coming with us no matter what. Are you all right with that?"
    "You know what? New York might be the best thing for Devin. So yeah! I'm totally okay with it."
    "Cool. Have you talked to Jacob yet?"
    "No, I will tonight though."
    "So I'll be back in a couple hours to pick you up. I charged your phone for you, it was almost dead."
    "Thank you."
    "Okay. I'll see you in bit."

    OH! MY! GOD! Hayden and Oden got freaking married! Wow! I need to text Jacob this crap. I all the sudden don't need a nap anymore.


    Dev better be awake and ready to fuckin' go. Waste of daylight having to drive Melissa to work then all way back across town to pick this dumb ass up. Should've been up and ready to go when Melissa was getting ready for work. Ode closed Nitro for the day so I could run the Mustang. So he better be ready or his ass get's to hang out with Kim tonight.

    "What it do baby?"
    "Word up girl?"
    "Ode go to Nitro already?"
    "I have no idea where the fuck he is. I called him a few hours ago and he said he was busy."
    "He better have a good fuckin' excuse!"
    "Relax Kim."
    "Fuck you Jacob."

    The fuck did I do to Kim? I waited for a minute until I heard the shower come on before talking to Dev.

    "What the fuck is her problem?"
    "She's still mad. I been avoiding her all day, I don't want to get punched in the junk again. That shit hurt."
    "Yeah! You fuckin' woke me and Melissa up."
    "My bad."
    "So, apparently Kim and Tank are fucking."
    "For real?"
    "Ode told me he read all the texts in her phone last night. What the fuck are you eating?"
    "He can do way better. Since Hayden is back, he should fix that relationship and kick Kim the fuck out. And this here, is a hot dog, with mayo, wrapped in a tortillo."
    "Fuckin' gross."
    "The Mexican in me loves me a tortillo, and the white in my loves me a hot dog with mayo. Does the black in you like grape kool-aid and watermelon?"
    "It's a fuckin' stereotype man!"
    "Does the black in you! Like watermelon! And!... Grape kool-aid?"
    "The white in me hates all kool-aid, the black in me... Loves me some fuckin' watermelon."
    "All the black people in the world hate you for making that stereotype true dude."
    "Fuck you! You just said all Mexicans love tortillas."
    "We do! Rice and beans as well. OH! And lengua! Mmmm! I love me some cow tongue. Tacos de lengua are the shit!"
    "Whatever man, where the papers? I wanna get high."
    "Don't have any."
    "Are you serious? I don't feel like walkin' back down to the fuckin' car."
    "Got blunt wraps on my dresser. Grape flavor. You loves you some grape."
    "I do like the grape blunts."
    "There you go again! Stereotype my mother fuckin' ass!"
    "Shut the fuck up and eat your tortilla."
    "Wrapped around a hot dog! I Like wieners."
    "I'm not even gonna comment on that statement."
    "Yeah, and the fact you like them."
    "Only when they are wrapped in a tortillo!"

    In the words of my girlfriend. WOW!

    "Jacob? Hey dude. Hey!"
    "What man."
    "Sit like me and smoke the blunt. It goes straight to your head."
    "I'm good."
    "Hey Jacob!"
    "Sit like me... Then smoke the blunt."
    Fuckin' Dev! He's funny as shit. When he's high or drunk, he's 100 times more funny. I probably should try and sit like him, but I don't feel like gettin' yelled at by Kim again.

    "What it do baby?"
    "Dev, sit on the fuckin' couch right."
    "Ode! Hey! Dude!"
    "What! Fuck man!"

    I hold up the blunt for Ode and he takes it from me.

    "I need to get high right now."
    "You got balls coming home Ode."
    "Grape blunt is fuckin' nasty."
    "Jacob is black! He loves the grape."
    "He said all Mexicans love tortillas."
    "We do. Where's Kim?"
    "Wrapped around a wiener!"

    I bust up laughing at that one. Ode just gives him a crazy fuckin' look. He needed to be here for the hot dog in a tortilla conversation to get that.

    "He's talking about a hot dog in a tortilla."
    "Don't forget the mayo Jacob."
    "Kim's in the shower."

    Ode steps up and socks Dev hard in the stomach.


    Ode socks him again then flips him off the couch. I'm sittin' here laughing my ass off. Dev being Dev laughin' his ass off on the floor, in a high-pitched voice....


    I'm pretty sure Ode was going to hit him again when Kim walked out of the bathroom.

    "Look Dev! It's Kim!"
    "What the fuck is going on out here?"
    "My brother being an idiot."
    "A few minutes turned into hours real fuckin' fast Ode. Did you get my fuckin' phone?"
    "Shit came up! And no, your phone wasn't there."
    "Fuck! Are you ready to go?"
    "I closed down Nitro so Jacob can run that Mustang."
    "Thanks for letting me know. You could've called your brother."
    "Shit fuckin' came up Kim! Relax!"
    "I'm tired of everyone telling me to relax!"

    Let's tone those two out! They are fuckin' with my high, all they fuckin' do is fight. Kim bitches because Ode works too damn much, but here's the kicker! She's always with him! So what the fuck is the problem? Maybe they see too much of each other. Fuck it, I don't care! I got a blunt to finish.

    "Jacob take the blunt."
    "Hold on man. Textin' Melissa."
    "Oooo! Textin' Milly!"
    "I will punch you so hard."
    "Shutting up!... What's she saying?"
    "She said Liz and her mom came in today and get a haircut and Liz said you're cute."
    "Really? Cool."
    "And she said her and Liz are gonna hang out on Wednesday, she's comin' home with her so she can look at Ode. HA!"
    "He's beastly! The ladies love him."
    "Holy shit!"
    "What? She send you a nude? Let me see!"

    I hold up the phone so Dev can read the last text from Melissa.

    "OH! You won't believe this! Hayden and Oden got freaking married today! Keep it hush hush!"

    The text caused Dev to choke of smoke to the point where he just about puked everywhere.

    "You all right over there Dev?"
    "What the fuck Ode!?"

    I hold my finger up to my mouth. Dev looks at me then back at Ode and starts talking in Spanish. I don't fuckin' know Spanish!

    "Te casaste?"
    "No digas ni una puta palabra."
    "Por qué crees que estoy hablando por lo que no entiende? El hombre mierda?"
    "Hablaremos más tarde. Ahora cállate!"
    "English! What the fuck did your brother just say?"
    "He said to stop fighting, and I told him to shut the fuck up."
    "That was way too many words in beaner talk to be, hey stop fighting and shut the fuck up."

   Oh, shit! The look Dev and Ode gave Kim was straight death. Did she seriously call them beaners just now? Not good Kim! Not good.

    "The fuck did you just say Kim?!"
    "Dev! Go get in the fuckin' car! Jacob, you get the fuck out of here too!"
    "No! Fuck her Ode!"
    "Oh, now you have the balls to talk shit Devin?"
    "Fuck you Kim! You cracker ass, no good piece of shit!"
    "Enough! We're leaving!"

    I swear Ode yelling like that shook the walls a little bit. It was scary as shit.

    "All right Ode. Me and Dev are leavin'. Come on man."
    "Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. You're a fuckin' idiot Ode!"
    "Dev! Shut the fuck up! Let's go."


    The last time I was this mad was when I beat the fuck out of Hayd's dad when I was fourteen. Don't hit this woman Ode. Relax! Turn the fuck around, walk out the door, get in your car and fuckin' leave.

    "Where are you going Ode?"
    "The fuck away from you!"
    "You been gone all fucking day. I might not be here when you get back."
    "Does it look like I give a fuck?! You disrespected me and brother in my own fuckin' house! You're fuckin' lucky I don't hit females! You'd be on the floor fuckin' bleedin' right now."
    "He disrespected me! You just stood there!"
    "After you called us beaners! Yeah, I fuckin' stood there! You deserved every ounce of that disrespect that came out of his fuckin' mouth. I'm leaving!"
    "Don't expect me to here later!"

    Storming out of the apartment like a bat out of hell slamming the door behind me, I turn to get the fuck out of here. I plow into Hayd hard, knocking her flat on her back.

    "Fuck! Damn it Hayd."
    "Where's the fire Ode?"
    "I'm sorry."
    "What the hell is going on? Devin is down there pissed off, he wouldn't even talk to me."
    "My guess? Milly told Jacob about us. Jacob told Devin, and now he's mad at both of us."
    "Okay. What's your problem? Knocking me on my ass like that?"
    "Kim called us beaners. I got pissed, Dev got pissed, then Kim got pissed when I didn't do anything when he called her a cracker."
    "Aww! My big bean eater is mad."

    The smile that makes me forget about everything.

    "Bean eater. I have to go, here take this. Just hold on to it for me.
    "Kim's phone!"
    "Yeah. I may need it later."
    "Okay. I'd give you a kiss if your fiancée wasn't ten feet away."
    "Shut up."
    "Make me."
    "You know I will Hayd."
    "I know. Make me."
    "You're killing me woman, we'll talk later. I need to get the fuck out of here."
    "All right."
    "Love you."
    "Love you too Ode."

    Hayd is gonna be the death of me, I know it. The sight of her makes all my problems go away and I'm instantly in a better mood. I'm still pissed! Just not as bad. The drive to Nitro will make everything better. Dev didn't even look at me when I got to the garage. He needs to relax! Everyone needs to fuckin' relax! I don't say a word, I just get in my car and pull away. Jacob got the idea, pullin' out behind me. Let's go make this Mustang his bitch.

    "What the fuck man?" Dev asks as he climbs onto the rock I'm standin' on watching Jacob.
    "Now you're talkin' to me?"
    "I'm serious Ode."
    "Why are you mad? What the fuck did I do to you?"
    "You got married and didn't even tell me. I found out from Jacob. The same with Kim and Tank. Jacob told me."
    "He just beat me to it is all."
    "I'm your brother! Not him!"
    "I fuckin' know that. I don't treat Jacob any different than I do you. You know that."
    "Yeah, I know. What I'm saying is, certain things I'd rather hear from you. Not Jacob... What the fuck is he doin'? Is he scared of that car?"
    "Right! Hey! Stop being a pussy and make that fuckin' car your bitch!"

    We both laugh when Jacob stops the car just to flip us off.

    "You hurt my feelings Ode."
    "Look man, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Hayd didn't even call and tell Milly, she was pissed off too. I didn't call mom and dad either. You know mom is going to be fuckin' pissed. This is something me and Hayd had to do. It was long overdue actually. I fuckin' need Hayd. You have to understand that."
    "I do understand Ode. I would have liked to have been there is all. I knew Hayden was the one for you all along. Then you came home with Kim and I could see how unhappy you were. I wished I didn't call you at all."
    "Kim's a crazy fuckin' bitch. But I actually cared about her. So yeah, I settled for her. Now look at me, I'm in deep with her."
    "Just fuckin' leave her Ode."
    "Easier said than done Dev. From what she's told me she destroys men who leave her. I have to work at this a bit. It's gonna take time."
    "At least make her stop kickin' my ass."
    "Aww! You need a good ass kickin' every now and then."
    "I'm fuckin' serious Ode. I'm tired of it."
    "I'll talk to her, no guarantees though. He's done already?! Come on!"
    "The car isn't his bitch yet!"

    I put my arm around Dev and pull him to me and kiss his the side of his head. Fuck you guys! He's my brother I can kiss him if I want.

    "I saw that faggy shit!"
    "You want one to Jacob? Come here!"

    I jump off the rock and walk toward Jacob with my arms open.

    "I will fuckin' punch you Ode!"
    "He gives nice kisses Jacob!"
    "I don't fuckin' care!"
    "Come on, just a small one."

    After a few more steps and Jacob wasn't lyin'! He nailed me fuckin' good right in the jaw. I swung back and he dodges the punch. He's pretty good at dodging. He swung to hit me again, I turn and grab him into a headlock.

    "Come on Jacob! You can't beat me fightin' or racin', we all know this! Now say Oden is the best."
    "Fuck you."

    I just laugh and let him go.

    "You need a shower Ode."
    "That's what a real man smells like."
    "His wife loves the real man smell."
    "Then Hayden loves the smell of ass. Speaking off ass! Either of you guys ever fuck a girl in the ass?"
    "Yes. Heather said no, and I did it anyway. She was mad."
    "Fucked up man. Anyway what's it like?"
    "A virgin."
    "Jacob has never been with one Ode."
    "Yes I have."
    "Milly want you to do her in the butt?"
    "It's BUM BUM!"
    "She said she wants to try it. I've never done it."
    "Have fun!"
    "Come on Ode!"
    "The fuck you want me to say Jacob? Just fuckin' do it man."
    "You're no fuckin' help at all. Let's get out of here."
    "Take my car. I want to drive the Mustang."
    "Seriously? Me, drive your car?"
    "Yep. Give me the keys."
    "They're in it."
    "See you two at home!"
    "I'm goin' with Ode!"
    "Don't wreck my fuckin' car Jacob."
    "I'll try not to. Oh! The gas is fuckin' touchy in that car."
    "I can handle her. Unlike you, I know how to make a car my bitch."

    Jacob was right! The gas is touchy as fuck! Barley tap the pedal and she wanted to come out from under me. I have to say, Scott did a damn good job on his car. Makin' me fall in love with a god damn Ford! I was happy to NOT see Kim's car when I pulled in and I was very happy to see Hayd and Milly gettin' out of the Yukon.

    "Hey! You're not my man!"
    "Nope. You're not mad at me Miss Milly?"
    "Never! Give me hugs brother!"

    Devin runs up to Milly and picks her up off her feet giving her a big ass bear hug.

    "Please don't kill my sister Devin."
    "I can't kill anyone who smells so good!"
    "Get off of me Devin! Oh my god, seriously! Put me down!"
    "No! Not fair you wanna hug Ode and not me. I'm your brother now too!"

    Dev puts Milly down and looks over at me and Hayd with super wide eyes.

    "I lost my virginity to my sister Ode!"

    Oh, the look of horror on Milly's face was fuckin' priceless. Me and Hayd just stand there and laugh.

    "Wow! Don't ever say that again! It sounds so wrong! Why are you guys driving the Mustang? Where's Jacob?"
    "He's in my car."
    "Whoa! No one drives your car."
    "What are talkin' about Hayd? Dev drove my car many times. I trust Jacob. See! Look, there he is."
    "Hey! My man looks good in the Charger."
    "The fuck Jacob? Me and Dev been here waitin' for your slow ass."
    "Your car scares me."
    "Are you kidding? This Mustang has more power."
    "It's not the power. It's your car. I fuck it up, you fuck me up. Take your keys."

    We swap keys, then he walks over to Milly picking her up over his shoulder and smacks you ass as he walks away with her.

    "Hey! That looks like fun! Come here sister!"
    "Don't you dare Devin!"

    He didn't listen, he picks Hayd up the same way and smacks her ass as well.

    "Tell your crazy ass brother to put me down Ode!"
    "Hayden and Melissa are tiny! Aren't they cute as fuck?"
    "Give her to me Dev."

    He sits her down and I pick her right back up. I do the old smack and squeeze on her ass. That ass is nice.

    "Please don't carry me up the stairs Ode."
    "I'm not. Dev, take her purse and my phone. You have anything in your pockets Hayd?"
    "No. What are you doing Ode?"
    "I have a white shirt on Ode!"
    "Dev won't look."
    "Yes I will."
    "Oh my god!

    I walk to the deep end of the pool and drop Hayd in. I actually wasn't plannin' on jumping in with her. But Dev, that asshole had other plans. He comes up behind me, and me not paying any attention at all! He shoves me into the pool. He sits Hayd's purse on the ground and literally runs away. Pussy. I grab a hold of Hayd's arm and pull her to me she clings to me. Wrappin' her arms around my neck and those legs around my waist. There's that smile again, the kiss was just as good. If this pool wasn't so cold it would have been on! Fuckin' cock blocked by a pool!

    "I told you Dev wouldn't look."
    "I hate you so much right now."
    "You looked like you needed to go for a swim."
    "I want to get out. It's cold and my nipples are going to make my shirt explode off my body."
    "I like the sound of that."
    "Of course you do. Seriously Ode, I want to get out."
    "Fine. I have a blunt upstairs callin' my name. I'm gonna smoke that shit and then pass the fuck out."
    "I wish it was in my bed with me."

    I go straight into the bedroom and change my clothes when I get upstairs. Hayd was right! Fuckin' cold! Dev was no where in sight, hiding his ass in the bathroom. SO! I just toss my wet clothes in the kitchen sink.

    "Destroying the toilet!"
    "I'm about to smoke a blunty blunt. You want some?"
    "No. I just got done hittin' the bongy bong."
    "More for me! I'll be outside."
    "Hey Ode?!"

    No response. Just a really loud toilet bowl fart. I just laugh and walk away from the door.

    "I farted!"
    "That was loud as fuck!"
    "The door muffled it! You should've been on this side. It was amazing!"
    "I'm sure it was."

    Fuckin' Dev! I have no idea where his funny comes from. Mom and pops have no sense of humor at all. Dev is over the top funny, he does a really good job at cheerin' people up. For example. Picking up my wife and smackin' her ass. I probably should've been mad, but It was funny! Hayd is like 5'3 and 100 pounds. He had no problem pickin' her up. Her and Milly both are tiny women. Very gorgeous women too. I sit down on the ground outside the apartment and didn't even notice Hayd sittin' at the top of the stairs.

    "Hey handsome."
    "What are trying to do to me in those tiny shorts and top with no bra?"
    "You like?"
    "The fuck you think?"
    "Then you'll love this!"

    She walks down the stairs in a way that made them tits bounce all around. Damn it!

    "Damn it Hayd. You're killin' me! You know those tits are my favorite."
    "That's why I made them bounce for you."
    "You been out here long?"
    "No, not really. I laid down in bed to go to sleep. Then I heard Jacob and Milly having sex."

    I laugh, choking on smoke.

    "Why is that funny?"
    "They are tryin' anal. Jacob said Milly wanted to try it and he's never done it either. So! There you go. Your baby sister is takin' it in the ass."
    "Oh my god."
    "If she's anything like you, she'll love it."
    "I know. She's too much like me. It sounded like she was enjoying it. Let me hit that"
    "Milly talk to Jacob yet?"
    "No, she said she was tonight. You talk to Devin?"
    "No, I was gonna smoke this with him and talk. He's destroying the toilet."
    "Gross. So where's the fiancée?"
    "I don't fuckin' know, nor do I care."
    "I'm not hiding my ring when she's around."
    "Then don't."
    "I won't! Fuck!"
    "Why do you make me so fuckin' happy Hayd?"
    "I'm just me Ode. Just like you are just you. We never had to try hard in this relationship. Everything just fell perfectly into place."
    "I want kids."
    "We will have kids Ode. We're old enough now."
    "Let us get settled in New York first. Then we'll go from there."
    "How many guys did you sleep with after you left?"
    "Zero. I messed around with like five guys. Got the puss licked, sucked dick, but never had sex. You're the only man that's been inside me Ode. Well, the only guy I've let inside me."
    "Don't say shit like that Hayd. You're just gonna piss me off."
    "You should've ended it that night."
    "If Scott wasn't with me I probably would've killed your dad. He's the one who stopped me."
    "So, how many girls have you been with?"
    "Just Kim."
    "Why are you with Kim? She's not your type."
    "I won't lie. The sex is fuckin' good."
    "Better than me?"
    "In a way, yes. She let's me do things to her that I wouldn't even think about doin' to you. But other than that Kim is a fuckin' bitch."
    "What do you do to her?"
    "Hold her down, choke her, and just plow into her. I can't do that with you. I could! But knowin' what happen to you. I won't do it."
    "Maybe we can try it. If you like doing that, I don't have any issue trying it. If it hits too close to home, I know all I have to do is say stop."
    " I don't know Hayd. I'd be uncomfortable doin' that to you. But yeah, all you'd have to do is say stop and I would. It's just, I don't want to hurt you. I'm fuckin' 6'6, 240 pounds and you're what? 5'3 and a buck ten?"
    "5'2, 115."
    "See! I'd break your ass in half."
    "I want to try it."
    "That's Kim's car."
    "Oh! That's my queue to go."
    "Wait for her to pull into the garage to get up."
    "I want to try it Ode."
    "Quickly give me a kiss and get the fuck out of here."
    "I want to try it!"
    "All right. Come on, give me a kiss goodnight. I need one."
    "Ill see you tomorrow Ode."
    "Come out to Nitro if you can."
    "I will. Goodnight"
    "Night gorgeous."

    I sit back down and relight my blunt, I see Kim about the same time I hear Hayd shut her front door above me.

    "Still in a shit mood Ode?"
    "You coming to bed after you finish that?"
    "I don't know Kim. I may just pass out on the couch."
    "You just said you weren't in a shit mood anymore."
    "I'm still pissed off. Don't ever disrespect me in own house again. Do you fuckin' understand me?"
    "Go inside and let me finish this."
    "What Kim?"
    "I'm sorry."

    Please, just go inside. Don't fuck up my night god damn it. After a few seconds of dead silence she walks inside without sayin' a word, then I hear her music playing in the bedroom. This is a good time to get the fuck up and go talk to Dev.

    "Kim didn't say shit about you smokin' that cigarette in here?"
    "Nope. Came in and went straight to the bedroom. I saw you and Hayd talkin'. Didn't wanna bug you guys."
    "I'm worried about you man, you need to stop being depressed. You have access to way too many drugs to be depressed."
    "I'm not gonna kill myself. What the fuck Ode? I'm just... Why is everyone happy and not me? You have Hayden, Jacob has Melissa. When is it my turn?"
    "You have Heather. You're not happy?"
    "Are you kidding me? Blaine was tellin' the truth, Heather is the biggest whore in this town. She thinks I don't know about her sleepin' around with the whole football team. She stays with me because I give her free coke."
    "Leave her. If you're fuckin' unhappy leave her. Simple."
    "Jacob pretty much said the same thing. I think you guys might be right."
    "We are. I have a solution for you. It won't happen right away, but it's the best fuckin' thing for you."
    "New York. Me and Hayd are goin' after you guys graduate. Milly is going too, she's gonna talk to Jacob. So he may be comin'. It was her idea. She said you're coming even if we have to tie you up and toss you in the trunk."
    "I'd want to go even if you didn't ask. I don't want to be here Ode."
    "Good. New York is your new beginning man. No one fuckin' knows you, you need this. Graduation isn't to far away, then we all can get the fuck out of here."
    "I like the sound of that."
    "Then we are all set?"
    "Fuckin' aye!"
    "Oh! I need the keys to the 'Cuda."
    "I'm takin' her to work tomorrow. Since you work right after school you can take my car so Scott can have Marcus fix it."
    "All right."
    "Give me a pillow too, so I can pass out on the couch."
    "Go sleep in my bed. I'm goin' downstairs to Heather's when she texts me back. The keys are on my dresser."
    "Fuck her before you dump her?"
    "Somethin' like that."
    "Pinche cerdo."
    "Fuck you."


    I think Jacob enjoyed the whole anal thing more than I did. It was okay! I had to give Jacob something, it's been a while for him. I do feel better knowing he got his. I did like enough to do it again if he wants to.

    "You didn't like it did you Melissa."
    "It was all right. I liked it enough to do it again if you wanted to."
    "I wanna do it again."
    "You know what I want right now?"
    "Real sex. I didn't exactly get mine."
    "You're not bleedin' anymore?"
    "No, I am. It's lightened up a lot today. I just want you inside me."
    "All right. I need to run down to the car real fast."
    "Do you have any condoms?"
    "Okay. I'll be back in a few minutes."

    I need to get on birth control. Jacob and I never used a condom. I was pregnant, so we had nothing to worry about. This may be dirty to some people, but I like having Jacob cum inside me. I like having it drip down my leg when I stand up. Yeah! I'm a good girl that loves dirty things! I finish up in the bathroom and grab a dark towel off the shelf and head back to my room. I notice Jacob pinning the picture of him and his brother to my board above my desk. I toss the towel on my bed and stand behind him and wrap my arms around him.

    "Why are you putting your picture there Babe?"
    "I'm givin' it to you, and if it's here I won't lose it."
    "Since you're giving me an old picture, take this one. You'll love it!"

    I reach up and unpin the two pictures that were on the top right-hand corner, and hand Jacob the picture that was under the top one. He instantly busts up laughing.

    "Is that fuckin' Dev?"
    "Yeah. Me, Hayden and Oden."
    "He was a nerd! That's fuckin' great."
    "I figured you'd like it."
    "Man, Dev looks just like Ode."
    "Yeah, defiantly tell they're brothers. Devin has his mom's eyes and her hair color, and Oden looks just like their dad. He's huge too! Probably might even be bigger than Oden."
    "I only met Gloria, I haven't met their dad yet."
    "They're great people, very nice. That's why I found it odd that their dad kicked Devin out."
    "You don't know the story?"
    "Drugs right?"
    "Drugs is only part of it. Dev and his dad got into it one night and he stabbed his dad with a fork and then threw it at him."

    I just shake my head.

    "A fork? Like the kind you eat with?"
    "Yeah. His dad told him to come home after a day. They both said sorry and shit. But Dev didn't want to go back home. He called Ode."
    "Everyone has their limits."

    Jacob pins the picture under the one he gave me, then picks me up and drops me on the bed, climbs on top of me and kisses my stomach, stops and rubs his thumb over the scar on my side, then kisses it. I was expecting him to move up to my face, but he didn't. He wrapped his arms around me tight and laid his head down on my stomach. I felt him flinch a little bit, then felt something warm hit my stomach. Then it hit me. Jacob was crying. He's seen the scar, he's touched it before. I guess knowing the truth about it changed everything. He really does love me. I just let him be and scratched the back of his neck for a few minutes.

    "Are you alright?"
    "Why would anyone want to hurt you?"
    "I don't know."
    "You're the first girl to make me cry, I don't cry. The fuck are you doing to me Melissa? You're making me feel things I've never felt before. I just wanna stay right here and never let you go."

    Jacob was making me feel things I have never felt as well.

    "Like you're falling and can't stop?"
    "I'm pretty sure what we're feeling is love."
    "I do love the fuck out of you... You know what's funny?"
    "I've liked you since the first time I saw you and never had to the balls to talk to you."
    "Aww! Why?"
    "You're fuckin' amazingly hot!"
    "Me being hot scared you?"
    "Yes. Hey, don't tell anyone I was cryin'."
    "What happens in my bedroom stays in my bedroom."
    "Good. I don't want people to think I'm a sissy."
    "Jacob, I have something kind of important to ask you."
    "What are your plans after graduation?"
    "I don't really have any. I'll probably just go home."
    "So, nothing is set in stone?"
    "No, why?"
    "I'm going to New York with Hayden and Oden after graduation. Devin is coming too. Come with us. Come with me."
    "Yeah. I'll go anywhere you want me to go."
    "I have another question, and please don't take it the wrong way and freak out."
    "I won't."
    "Do you... Do you want kids someday?"
    "Yes. I wanna get married too."
    "I still want sex."
    "I don't wanna have sex with you."
    "What? Why?"
    "Let's do somethin' we haven't exactly done before."
    "That would be?"
    "Make some love!"
    "All slow and passionate, looking into each other's eyes?" I say that kind of catty just because.
    "Yeah! You have never once looked me in the eyes during sex. Never."
    "Right. I do know they change when you're horny."
    "Greenish blue. I love them."
    "Maybe you should look at them more."
    "If you get up here I will. Make some love to me damn it."
    "Fine! Twistin' my arm and shit. Crazy ass woman."
    "Shut up!"


    Michael has a kid! What the fuck! Like I told him, I am not okay with this! I love him and I still want to be with him. My feelings for him haven't changed one bit. That I know for sure. If that's what I know for sure, why the hell am I crying? I love him. He hurt me. I still want to be with him. He has a fucking kid! She's thirteen! I would feel so much better if she was like eight or something. The ringer on my phone made me jump 50 feet in the air! My mom.

    "Hey mommy."
    "Hi honey. I'm just checking in, is everything okay?"
    "Yeah, I didn't burn the house down."
    "That's good. I'll be staying with Jim tonight. Jacob called and let him know that he'll be gone. So I'll see you tomorrow after school."
    "Okay mom. Love you."
    "I love you too Lizzy. Good night."

    I look out the window and notice the lights are still on at Michael's. I wipe my face and head over to his house. I need to talk to him and make this right. I see him through the window as I walked by sitting on the couch talking on the phone, so I knock on the door lightly. He answers the door and holds up one finger then points to his phone. Yeah, I get it. Hold on I'm on the phone. I follow him back to the couch and sit next to him, and rest my head on his shoulder. This is nice. I didn't pay attention to him when he started talking in a different language, I just figured he was talking to his mom. But then I realized the way he was talking wasn't French at all. What the hell Language was he talking in? Not Spanish because I know Spanish. I take my head off his shoulder and look at him, when he looks over at me I tilt my head to the side and raise an eyebrow at him. About five minutes pass and he finally hangs up the phone.

    "What language was that?"
    "Irish. I was talking to my dad."
    "Say I love you in Irish."

    He sighs and gives me a look.

    "Is breá liom tú."
    "Yeah, not as sexy as French. Sorry."
    "I know."
    "You speak Irish!"
    "I speak five languages."
    "English, Spanish, French, Irish, and...?"
    "Say I love you in Latin."
    "Te amo."
    "That's Spanish!"
    "Non est."
    "I said no it's not."
    "No es is Spanish. It's the same!"
    "Similar, yes. The same, no."
    "Whatever fancy pants."
    "Okay. Why are you here?"
    "Came to talk."
    "Your daughter."
    "Elizabeth, please let it go."
    "Just let me say what I have to say."
    "I'm not okay with the fact you have a kid..."
    "You told me that."
    "Let me finish!"
    "Sorry. Continue."
    "My feelings for you are the same. I still love you and I still want to be with you. Are you listening? Stop looking at my legs!"
    "I'm listening. You still love and want to be with me."
    "I just need time to completely wrap my head around it is all."
    "Are you leaving me?"
    "No. I'm not leaving you but..."
    "No buts. Buts are always bad."
    "I need a break from you, just a little bit of space is all."
    "You are leaving me."
    "No! I'll still be here, I'll still kiss you good night. I just need space. That's it, we are still a couple."
    "That makes no sense. But okay."
    "Tell something I don't know about you Elizabeth."
    "Ask me anything."
    "Why did you stop dancing?"
    "How... Who told you I dance?"
    "Your mom. Today, after you told her you favor beer and vodka."
    "Oh. I... Um, I guess I had no use for it anymore."
    "Are you aware you hurt your mom when you stopped?"
    "She said your were so beautiful and it broke her heart."
    "I had no idea."
    "You need to open up and talk to your mom Beautiful."
    "I do talk to my mom."
    "No you don't. A normal conversation isn't talking to her. Tell her about your feelings, about your life. Open up to her and stop shutting her out. She gave you life, it's the least you could do."

    Damn it Michael with your psychology crap! He was completely right, I do shut my mom out. I sat there quietly for a few minutes then came the water works.

    "She shuts me out."
    "No Beautiful, she doesn't. She tries and tries to break through to you. You have this massive brick wall up and every time she manages to chip it a little bit you run away. You need to get rid of that wall and let her in."

    He's good! And fucking right again!

    "You're kind of hurting my feelings Michael."
    "As long as my point is getting through."
    "Yeah, it is. That's why my feelings are hurt. You're making me feel like a horrible person."
    "Honestly. It's my job. When someone's feelings get hurt in a situation like this, it means they realized they fucked up. Think about it. Who is the one with the real hurt feelings."
    "My mom."

    I never looked at it the way Michael did. I had no idea I even hurt my mom. I'm totally kicking myself in the ass right now. What the fuck have I done? I'm graduating this year and then going off to college. Knowing this. I can't leave her like this. She gave me life... It's the least I could do.

    "How do I fix it?"
    "Take a wrecking ball to that wall."
    "Help me Michael!"
    "I'm telling you Beautiful. Get rid of that goddamn wall and talk to your mom. Start by talking to her about your dad."
    "That will just hurt her."
    "You're so damn hardheaded, you know that."
    "No I'm not."
    "Okay! Let's try it this way. You fucking broke your mother... Nothing you will say will hurt her anymore than you already have... It will look like she is hurting but trust me... You are fixing it. Do you understand that?"
    "You don't have to be so mean about it."
    "Do you understand?"
    "Where can I rent a wrecking ball?"
    "I don't know. Home Depot?"
    "I love you Michael."
    "I love you too Beautiful."
    "Can I stay the night?"
    "Will you wrap those long legs around my head?"
    "I was planning on it."
    "I thought you wanted a break?"
    "It can start tomorrow."
    "Then you can stay the night."

    Seriously! Where can I rent a wrecking ball?!