Friday, June 19


   My head doesn't hurt today! My bump is smaller, not bigger. Happy face! No hospital for me today! I can even push on it and it doesn't hurt. Awesome! My god Sean is so handsome when he's sleeping. I wonder what would happen if I gave him some neck kisses and chest kisses.
    "Mmm. Feeling better this morning?"
    "Feel my bump."
    "I don't need to. All I have to do is look at your face and know you feel better."
    "My bump went down, and no headache."
    "Good. You should take off your clothes."
    "I should?"
    "Mmm hmm. You started something that I want to finish."
    "I want you to lick this jay all up."
    "If you take off your clothes I might do that for you."
    "Now you. Take off the pants."
    "What do you love most about my body?"
    "Your hips. I love how wide they are. Drives me insane. But I also love everything else too."
    "I love how you're touching me softly with your fingertips. It's turning me on."
    "Is it?"
    "Lay down so I give you want you want."
    "You should kiss every inch of my body as well."

    I love his soft kisses all over my body. He does in fact kiss every inch like I asked. I made him go back and kiss my fingertips. I don't know I love those kisses on my fingertips so much. He knows exactly what to do to get me going. I love it! He eats the jay really good too. He's a biter! Michael and Devin only licked and sucked. Also never went down on me as long as Sean does. Is he gonna get me off this way? Oh my god!

    "Okay! Okay stop!"

    I try to push his head away, but he grabs my wrists and pins them to the bed. I think he enjoys making me moan as loud as possible.

    "Oh god Sean!"
    "Did you get off yet?"
    "Oh... My... God! That made me a little bit weak. You wouldn't stop! I was like begging and you kept going! Come up here now! Feel free to slide in."
    "Ooo! Very nice."
    "You made me this wet."
    "Oh! That feels good. I like it when you do that."
    "Tighten my jay?"
    "Yes. Never been a girl who has done that. It feels... Mmm! Feels really good."
    "Make love to me Sean."

    I sure do hope the rest of my day is this fucking good.

    "We should've done this last night."
    "Come on Sean! Help me."
    "You have nothing that's 50ish?"
    "Look through my mom's things. I sure she has something."
    "This is all the shit she doesn't wear. Something like this."
    "I love that! That skirt is gonna be short as hell though."
    "So. Try it on real fast."
    "Ah! Skirt is tight!"
    "Cut a slit in it."
    "I am not ruining one of your mom's dance outfits Sean."
    "Hold on."
    "What are doing?"
    "Look! See!?"
    "Tell Liz to cut a slit in the back and that will work perfect for your Jive."
    "I sent her a picture."
    "Cut a slit in it for me."
    "How far up?"
    "To here."
    "How's that?"
    "I can move my legs! Now you!"
    "I have this."
    "Nice! Put it on real fast. Hey! We kind of match! Cool!"
    "Now shoes."
    "Those white ones for you."
    "Okay. Now you."
    "No heels. Like the ones you had on last night."
    "Oh! These?"
    "We gotta go."
    "I know."
    "Pull this off and put my clothes on real fast."
    "I got the Jive stuff. When you get your clothes on grab all the Rumba stuff."
    "Got it. I think I'm ready. Jive and Rumba music, phone, homework, we are good Sean."
    "All right. Let's go."


    The last thing I want is to live with my dad. He hasn't wanted me all these years, so what makes my Grandma think he'll want me now? I got kicked out of school for hitting a teacher, wrecked my Grandpas car. She has no idea what to really do with me. Her and Grandpa work, my mom hasn't been a mom to me in forever. She doesn't know what to do with either. Which is why I been living with my Grandparents for awhile. Last two options. Dad or boarding school. My dad said bring me to him. His neighbors are moving and he managed to get their house, so I won't have to sleep on a pullout bed forever. I never even heard of San Jose before I heard my dad works here. All I know is that it's a small town. What the hell am I supposed to do here? It's still kind of the beginning of the school year. I guess I could make new friends. Do I really want to make new friends? I'm going back to Grandmas after the school year. So is it worth it? This is so stupid.

    "Regan, wake up. We'll be landing in about five minutes."
    "What time is it?"
    "It's about 5:30."
    "5:30 is stupid."
    "Get used to it. It's the time your father gets up for work and it the time you'll be getting up as well."
    "Screw that! Why can't I just walk to school or take the bus? Why do I have to get up when he does?"
    "Because you haven't earned freedom yet Regan."
    "I'm starting to love the idea of boarding school right now."
    "That's where you'll be if your father can't straighten you up."
    "He doesn't want me here with him. I'll cramp his single life."
    "You should hold your tongue on things you have no idea about. Your mother is the one who kept your father away from you."
    "Yeah right. The last time I saw dad was three years ago on my birthday. He dropped off a gift and then left. He didn't even say, hi or happy birthday."
    "Because your mother made him leave."
    "I'm sure she did."
    "One of these days you'll learn about your mother and your father and then your eyes will be open to who really betrayed who."
    "Don't try to get into my head with your psychology crap."
    "I'm not. You're a stupid blind child who needs to open her eyes."
    "Bitch much Grandma?"
    "I speak the truth to you. Just like your father will."
    "All of this is so stupid. I'm losing all my freedom!"
    "You don't deserve freedom."
    "My life sucks right now."


    I hate sudden changes. My daughter finishing her freshman year here is not what I had in mind. Amanda is a lifesaver. I am a little bit upset that they're moving, but Jim and Amanda want to live together. Amanda was able to get me their house. Since we rent from the same company, my lease was easily transferred to their house. Amanda offered me her bed for my daughter. I had to turn it down. It's so old and uncomfortable. For the time being, I bought a new couch that pulls out into a bed. Gave Amanda my spare house key and her handle the delivery for me and all that. Matter at hand. My daughter. What am I suppose to do with her? Everyone else is having issues with her. My mom told me to put the fear of god in her like my dad did me growing up. Not a bad idea, but I don't think whooping her ass with a belt is going to work. Knock on the door.

    "Come in."
    "Good morning."
    "I have your daughter’s schedule. Jim asked me to bring it by since I was coming this way. She has history with me."
    "Thank you Samantha."
    "You're welcome. I had a good time last night."
    "So did I."
    "When are we going to have another date night?"
    "I have no idea. I have to get my daughter settled in and all that."
    "You're not dumping me after one date are you?"
    "I am not. A lot of shit hit me at once, and I have to deal with it."
    "That's how life works Michael. Likes to fuck you nice and good every once in a while."
    "Yes it does."
    "Anything I should know about your daughter?"
    "She doesn't listen very well and she hit a teacher when she sent her to the office."
    "Sounds like you might have your hands full Mr. Avalon."
    "You might be right Ms. Cooper."
    "Rain check on seeing you naked again?"
    "Yes. Rain check on that."
    "That's upsetting."
    "How can I make it up to you?"
    "Something simple. Have lunch with me today."
    "I can do that."
    "Good. I have to get out of here. I have a few things to get ready for the rally this afternoon."
    "You're leaving without giving me a good morning kiss?"
    "Do you want one Mr. Avalon?"
    "I think I do."

    Little back story on me and Samantha. We have known each other for close to five years now. I met her in college. We had a sociology class together. We went out a few times here and there. Just friends, never had sex, never dated, just good friends. She was just as surprised as I was to she her here. We been talking a little bit since I've been here, she asked me out a few times, and I turned her down. I been in the dumps the past week or so, so I said, fuck it. I asked her out to dinner and here we are. It was a good night. Great night. She's pretty amazing in the bedroom. Now! Sex wasn't in the agenda for the night. It just happen. We talked after and she was telling me how she always had a thing for me. I figured why not! I'll give her the chance she's wanted for years. She's beautiful and smart. Why not give it a go. My mom is a bit relieved that Elizabeth and I are not dating anymore. I also told her about Samantha. She likes the fact I'm dating someone my own age. Speaking of my mom!

    "Good morning Michael."
    "Good morning. How was your flight?"
    "It was long, but it was good."
    "Hey dad."
    "Your hair looks ridiculous."
    "I like it."
    "I don't."
    "I tried to get her to dye it before she came."
    "The principle might make you dye it."
    "So. I won't do it."
    "Mmm hmm."
    "What? I like it. I am not dying it."
    "You need to lose that attitude. Real fast."
    "No one could handle me. What makes you think you can?"
    "Try me."
    "Wow! I'm out of he... Hey! Let go of my arm!"
    "Sit... The... Fuck... Down. Now."
    "All right! Let go of my arm now! Shit!"
    "Watch your mouth before I smack it right off your face."
    "I told you Michael."
    "Fear of god."
    "What's been going on Regan?"
    "Are you asking me as a shrink or as my dad?"
    "As your dad. What's so bad in your life that has you acting like this?"
    "Lack of parents for one."
    "Lack of parents?... Hello?"
    "Leah got married and had a child about two years ago."
    "Yeah. I know this."
    "Mom got married and had the kid and she totally forgot about me. Like, she stopped helping me with my homework, stopped telling me that dinner was ready. She didn't even see me anymore. All her time goes to them. You weren't there! I had zero parents."
    "Why didn't you call me?"
    "Why? You were never there. You wouldn't have came to my rescue."
    "Why didn't you call Grandma."
    "I did! A lot. They have taken more care of me the past two years than mom has."
    "Where the hell is my money going every month?"
    "Not to me! Grandma has been buying everything I need for me."
    "Leah has been lacking."
    "I talk to you every week. Why is this the first I'm hearing of this?"
    "Everything was fine until she started school. That's when she got out of hand."
    "What do you want from me Regan?"
    "I want you to be a dad."
    "What has your mom said about me?"
    "That you got her pregnant and left her."
    "Is that right?"
    "Like I said Regan, you're a stupid blind child."
    "No I'm not!"
    "You are Regan."
    "What the fu..."
    "What was that?"
    "What the heck. Sorry."
    "I never left your mom. She got kicked out when she got pregnant and she lived with me at Grandma's house. She stopped taking birth control behind my back and got pregnant. I will be 100% honest with you Regan. I never wanted kids. Ever. I stayed because it was the right thing to do. I don't plan on having another kid. I might change my mind, I might not. But the first time I felt you kick inside your mom's belly and saw you moving around. It turned me completely around. Then you were born, and I held you. It was... No. You are the best thing to happen to me. I was happy the whole time. Then when you were three, your mom found someone else. She started cheating on me and when I found out and asked her about it she left. I begged and begged her not to take you away from me. She did it anyway. I wasn't there because she wouldn't let me be there. Not because I don't love you or anything along those lines. I am not the one you should be mad at."
    "I need to open my eyes and see who betrayed who."
    "Grandma said, I need to open my eyes and see who betrayed who. How do I know you're not the one who's lying?"
    "I guess you'll just have to trust me."
    "I don't even know you well enough to trust you."
    "That isn't my fault."
    "It's not mine either dad."
    "Rules at home are simple. You'll pick up after yourself, do your homework, and do not fuck off. You'll take the bus home and you'll use the house phone to call me. The bus gets there around 4:00 and I expect a call no later than 4:30. I get home around 5:30. I call the house between 4:00 and 5:00 and if you don't answer I will assume you are not there. I don't get a call from you before 4:30 I will assume the same. I'm giving you six strikes Regan. You don't call or answer. That's a strike. If your homework is not done by time I get home you will be grounded. Homework is too small for a strike. So, homework is not done, you get maid duty and you lose all freedom and fun. No T.V, no computer, no internet, no phone. Do you understand me?"
    "Yes. But..."
    "My math homework. That won't be done by time you get home. I need help with it and it's not fair if I lose all that because I suck at math."
    "How is she in math?"
    "Okay. I'll let the math slide. Do what you can on it and I'll help you with the rest. Fair enough?"
    "Follow my rules and you and I will be just fine. Another thing to add to that list of rules. Do not fucking lie to me. I ask you a question, you answer honestly. You ask me something, I will be honest with you. Don't think I won't know when you're lying to me either."
    "Do you read minds?"
    "No. I'm good at reading people. Kind of my job. For example. You ever get away with lying to Grandma?"
    "Never… Oh!"
    "Yeah. I'm giving you simple rules to follow. I am your last option. If I were you, I wouldn't fuck this up."
    "Okay. Can I please keep my purple hair? Pretty please!"
    "If the principle says you have to dye it, there is nothing I can do."
    "I can keep it!?"
    "I'll make you a deal."
    "Six strikes right?"
    "You fuck up. I won't give you your first strike. I'll take you to the hair salon to dye your hair."
    "If I want to keep my purple hair I can't mess up. That's evil."
    "I bet it works. For a while anyway."
    "Fine! Deal."
    "All right. Here's your class schedule. Locker number and the key. I already paid for your P.E clothes but you'll need to fill out this paper to get them."
    "Ms. Renner! Cool."
    "Sadie won't give you special treatment for being family Regan. Either will I. We can't do it."
    "Okay. Do I take the bus home today?"
    "No. Principle is letting me leave early today to get you settled in. Come in here after school."
    "Okay. Do I get a free lunch like at my old school?"
    "No. Everyone pays."
    "I don't have money."
    "$30. This will cover your lunch for the week."
    "Do I get an allowance?"
    "Yes. $30 a week."
    "Really? Not even a little extra for being good?"
    "That you'll have to earn."
    "You got money coming out of your butthole dad. Come on."
    "How much money did you give her each week mom?"
    "None. If she wanted something she asked me for it. If I okayed it, I took her to get it."
    "You want extra money for the week?"
    "Every Friday, each class has a test. Get an A I'll give you $15, get a B I'll give you $10, get a C I'll give you $5, get a D or an F you get nothing."
    "Each A?"
    "Yes. $15 per A and so on. Fair enough?"
    "I'm not a bad guy Regan. But you and I both need to gain each others trust. You want freedom, you have to earn it. Be honest with me, follow my rules, do good here at school is all I ask of you."
    "Grandma said we have to start from scratch."
    "That's exactly right. That's what I plan to do here. Just follow my…"
    "I know. I will. Promise."
    "Go to class."
    "Okay… Oh! I almost forgot. I need to go to the store after school."
    "Your daughter is a young woman Michael."
    "Okay. Uh..."
    "First awkward moment with my dad."
    "Grandma got me a small box at the airport. Kind of snuck up on me. It likes to do that sometimes."
    "Okay, that's enough."
    "I need them."
    "I understand. I'll take you to the store and get you what ever you need."
    "Did you get everything you need out of the car?"
    "Yeah. Everything I left in there can go in dad's car."
    "Okay. You're free to go."
    "Any issues you come see me."
    "I will."

    That was really uncomfortable. I have to buy my thirteen-year-old daughter lady things. That! Is something I did not think through. Plus side, I don't have to educate her on it.

    "What's wrong darling?"
    "I have to buy my daughter tampons or whatever it is she uses."
    "Get use to it Michael. She'll need them every month."
    "Is Leah okay with all of this?"
    "According to these papers. She has no choice."
    "Regan filed this?"
    "I completed it for her. Read it again. Carefully."
    "Guardianship granted to Olivia BeauSoleil-Avalon and Michael Elwin Avalon."
    "Again. Carefully this time. Like I said."
    "Michael Elwin Ava... Avalon II! She didn't even catch that did she?"
    "You didn't. Either has Regan."
    "Leah didn't even fight this at all. What the hell is going on with her?"
    "Regan needs you Michael. Do not be her friend. Be her father."
    "You think I'm giving her to much freedom?"
    "Not at all. You're doing good so far. Don't back down on anything you've said. She gets in trouble, you take that purple hair away."
    "I do not like her hair."
    "I like how you used it against her."
    "Yeah. I'm pretty sure it'll work. Tell me about her."
    "What do you want to know?"
    "Is she having sex?"
    "I have asked her. She said no. But I honestly have no idea. If she's having sex, she's having sex. There's no way you can really stop that."
    "Do I buy her a box of condoms?"
    "That will only tell her it's okay."
    "No condoms."
    "Are you positive you want me to talk to Elizabeth?"
    "Oh! That's right. Here's her file, and yes. Please talk to her."
    "Her issues. Not about you correct?"
    "Some questions you know I will ask will most likely shatter her. Are you positive you want me to talk to her?"
    "Will she need someone here with her?"
    "Yes. I'll call in her boyfriend as well. He seems to be able to keep her calm."


    Great start to my day. Sex with a beautiful woman. Twice! That's why me and Liz where a little late this morning. But it was worth it.
    "Hey, how do you do that slide across the floor in your Jive?"
    "Wax on my shoes."
    "That's it?"
    "Yes. Too much and you fall on your ass though. Why ask me about that? You can slide across the floor."
    "Not like you did. You and Liz are really good."
    "She's pretty amazing."
    "Becky was talking about her after class."
    "Little miss know it all telling me what to do."
    "She'll listen to Liz though."
    "I know. She asked me if she should go swimming."
    "Liz didn't mean that literally."
    "I know. I thought it was fucking funny she asked though. I told her yes."
    "Did you really?"
    "Did she go?"
    "Yeah. Then I got a phone call at like nine last night, she said she doesn't think she went swimming long enough because her arms feel the same."
    "Oh man. That's funny. I'm telling Liz this shit."
    "Then I told her try the thick water at the dump."
    "No! That's just gross."
    "I hope she does it."
    "That's not right. Funny! But not right."
    "Oh! This is a new girl? She's fucking hot. Go sit by Piper."
    "You going to try and get that James?"
    "Yes. I will try. Now go sit by Piper."

    The new girl is kind of cute. I do not like the purple hair. I think she would look better without it.
    "Hey. What brings you over here to my table Mr. All Night Lover?"
    "Really? Who have you told that to?"
    "No one. Honest. What brings you here?"
    "James wants the new girl to sit next to him."
    "Oh! You gonna get at that Flinch?"
    "Thanks Sean. Yes! I will try."
    "I love her hair."
    "I don't. I think she would look better with a normal hair color."
    "Hm. Maybe."
    "Settle down people! We have a new student joining us today. Regan Avalon..."

    "Everyone be nice to her!"
    "I love your hair!"
    "Go ahead and have a set behind Piper. The one who loves the purple hair."
    "I have no extra books, so please share. I'll have a book for you on Monday Regan."
    "Hey! Where did you get your hair done?"
    "Those white tips are poppin'! Dang!"
    "Are you by any chance related to Michael Avalon? School shrink?"
    "He's my dad."
    "How old are you?"
    "I was going to say you need to join cheer. But you wouldn't be on my squad."
    "Anyway! I'm Piper, this here is Sean and that handsome fella there is Flinch."
    "Your name is Flinch?"
    "James. Everyone calls me Flinch though."
    "I'm a hip hop dancer. Pop lock kind of stuff. Jagged and flinch like. So, Flinch."
    "That's pretty cool..."
    "Did... You just sniff me?"
    "You smell like vanilla."
    "No I don't."
    "That would be me."
    "I like your accent."
    "Why are you wearing vanilla?"
    "I'm not. It's what my girlfriend wears and it sticks to me."
    "Oh. You have a girlfriend?"

        "Fucking accent of yours cock blocked Flinch."
        "I can't help it."
        "Come on Regan. Talk to Flinch."
        "He has to talk too."

    "Do you have a girlfriend?"
    "You have a really nice smile."
    "Thanks. Are you finding your way around okay?"
    "A little bit. I was trying to find my locker but had no luck and I was already late."
    "What number?"
    "Um… 569."
    "Mine is 566. I'll show you where yours is."
    "Cool. Thank you."
    "If you want, I can show you around at lunch."

        "Flinch is in like Flynn with Regan."

    "Gather up your things. Mr. Avalon needs to see you in his office. You'll need to come back in here at lunch and take today's test."
    "I'll let you know what’s up with those two later."
    "No problem."


    Saved by Michael! No more science! Ha!

    "Hey my Love! Kiss! What are doing wandering around?"
    "Mr. Avalon wants to see me."
    "Really? He wants to see me."
    "Did you know he has a daughter?"
    "Yeah. Her name is Regan. Why?"
    "She's a new student here. I have history with her."
    "Yes. James thinks she hot. He's showing her around at lunch."
    "Cool. Is she hot?"
    "She looks a lot like her dad. But she has purple hair. I can't get pass that, but yeah! She's cute."
    "Cuter than me?"
    "You're not cute."
    "You are beautiful. That's hundred times better. Your body, those legs. Mr. Avalon's daughter doesn't have shit on you."
    "Aw! Love you."
    "I love you too."
    "Regan make any other friends?"
    "Piper. Then she introduced me to her and Regan asked why I was wearing vanilla."
    "That's funny."
    "Then I talked."
    "Uh oh! Break that girl's heart already?"
    "No. I told her I have a girlfriend and then she asked James if had one. He said no, and she was like, you have a really nice smile and then James was in."
    "James told me something you might get a kick out of."
    "Rebecca was talking shit about you after class. She said, little miss know it all trying to tell me what to do."
    "She'll listen!"
    "I know! James told me she asked him if she should go swimming."
    "Oh my god! That's fucking funny."
    "No! The funny part is he told her yeah, and she did."
    "Props to Flinch!"
    "I'm not done."
    "He got a phone call at like nine last night from her saying she doesn't think she swam long enough because her arms don't feel any different."
    "That's great!"
    "He told her to try the thick water at the dump."
    "NO! That's just gross!"
    "That's what I said! He hopes she does it."
    "Oh my god! Best thing I've heard all day so far!"
    "After you."
    "Such a gentleman opening the door for his lady."

    I know who this lady is! Michael's mom! What the fuck is going on? Why is Sean here? Oh. I'm scared.
    "Hello Elizabeth. My name is Olivia."
    "Hi. This is Sean. Michael what's going on?"
    "I asked my mom to talk to you."
    "Okay. Why is Sean here?"
    "You'll need him here with you."
    "Come have a seat Elizabeth. Sean you have one as well."
    "I'm really nervous right now."
    "No need to be. Michael needs a second opinion. That's all."
    "You lied! You do think I'm crazy."
    "No I do not. My mom is far more qualified than me. She's only going to talk to you."
    "I don't want crazy pills! I told you that Michael."
    "I am not here to give you crazy pills. I just want to have a talk about your issues with your father. Nothing more."
    "That's why Sean is here. Just in case."
    "Correct. Mr. ?"
    "Lebedinsky, Russian?"
    "You are here because of certain things I will ask Elizabeth. Questions my son is not qualified to ask. Question that will most likely shatter Elizabeth. You are here in case that happens. Michael said you seem to do well at keeping her calm and collected."
    "I do know how to keep her calm, yes."
    "You and Michael are both psychologists. How are you qualified to ask something and he's not?"
    "I deal with mental issues. Michael deals with social issues. A couple who seek relationship counseling. They would go see him. A person having repeated nightmares, or hearing voices, things along those lines. They come and see me."
    "My mom is a Clinical Psychologist. I am not."
    "Shall we get started?"
    "I guess."
    "Tell me about the night your father died. Details are very important Elizabeth."
    "We were on our way home from Los Angeles."
    "What was in Los Angeles?"
    "Dance competition."
    "Did you place?"
    "First. Third year."
    "Impressive. How old where you?"
    "The date?"
    "Saturday, September 29th."
    "The clock on the radio said 1:37am. Right before we got hit."
    "Let's back up a little bit. You were on your way home from Los Angeles. Dance competition. The conversation in the car with your father. Tell me about that."
    "I was upset because my mom couldn’t go and see me. Someone at her work quit, and she had to work. She was really upset about that too. I was rubbing blister cream on my feet and wrapping them. My dad was telling me how proud he was of my fight in the competition because of my feet. I had like five quarter sized blisters on one foot and six on the other."
    "That sounds horrible."
    "It was so painful. I was fighting the whole night just to stay on my feet."
    "How long have you been dancing?"
    "Fourteen years."
    "A very long time."
    "Um... I was telling my dad I was going to take time away from dancing to rest. Because that competition did a number on me and I needed the rest. He agreed with me on that and said it would a good time to have my surgery done that I need."
    "What kind of surgery?"
    "I ruptured my hamstring in my calf and I need surgery to have it repaired."
    "This happen dancing?"
    "No. Cheer. I did a back handspring and landed way wrong."
    "Mr. Lebedinsky. You look a little bit uneasy. Are you alright?"
    "I'm fine. I had no idea that Liz's torn muscle in her leg is actually a grade 3 rupture. That's all."
    "Grade 3?"
    "Yes. It goes by grade. Grade 1 is a pulled muscle. Grade 2 is a torn muscle and grade 3 is a ruptured muscle. That's where all the muscle and tendons pull off the bone along the tear. That's why you can see it when your flex your leg Liz."
    "Mind showing me?"
    "Oh! That's unpleasant. Does it hurt?"
    "Not really. It'll get sore sometimes. That's about it. Pretty gross huh?"
    "I cringed a little. My apologies."
    "Everyone does."
    "Moving on. Continue."
    "We both agreed to set up an appointment for my surgery. After I was done dealing with my feet I grabbed my trophy out of the backseat. My dad was telling me how proud he was that I won again. I told him it was so painful and thank you for carrying me around to keep as much pressure off my feet as possible. Then a song came on the radio called Wide Awake by Katy Perry. It was my favorite song at the time so I went to turn it up just a little bit. 1:37am. My dad started to say that my trophy was going up on the mantel at home. I saw the headlights, and I yelled for him to watch out. He yelled my name. He had a tight grip on my right arm. His arm was across my chest."
    "What kind of vehicle hit you?"
    "A big truck."
    "A semi?"
    "She said it was a truck like mine. I drive a Ford F-150."
    "Okay. What kind of vehicle were you in?"
    "Dodge Charger."
    "What color was the truck?"
    "I don't know. I only saw headlights and tires."
    "Yes. When the truck fucking drove away."
    "What happen when the truck hit you?"
    "The car rolled like seven times and stopped when it hit the guard rail. We were upside down."
    "Who was at fault?"
    "Our light was green."
    "Are you sure? You turning up the radio or your trophy didn't distract your father?"
    "No. Our light was green. This wasn't my fault."
    "Was your father still holding on to your arm after the car hit the guard rail?"
    "I don't re... Yes. He was. Then he let go and touched my face. I asked him if he was okay and his hand fell."
    "Did you see your father's life fade in his eyes?"
    "When you looked at your father was his eyes open?"
    "Did you see your father's life fade in his eyes?"
    "I... I… I don't... I don't like that question. I don't... I..."
    "What happen before his hand fell from your face?"
    "He smiled at me. And he said, my Bean... My..."
    "I'm right here Liz."
    "He smiled and said, My Beanstalk. Then his hand fell. He blinked once and a tear fell. His chest stopped moving and his smile turned into a blank expression, then his eyes changed."
    "Changed how?"
    "From blue to grey."
    "Did you see your father's life fade in his eyes?"
    "What happen after that?"
    "I yelled for help. Then I heard shoes running away. Then saw the tries. Going."
    "Did you see the shoes? See if it was male shoes or females shoes?"
    "No. I only heard them."
    "What did you do after that?"
    "I tried to wake up my dad. He wouldn't wake up. Then I called my mom, but she didn't answer. Then I called 911."
    "What happened when the ambulance arrived?"
    "They cut our seat belts and got us out of the car. Marcus, one of the medics took me to the ambulance to look at me. He was really surprised that I only had a few scratches and bumps. He was making small talk with me so I wouldn't pay attention to what was going on with my dad behind him. I would move my eyes or my head and he would step in my view. Then a coroner's van pulled up. Three people got out. Two guys and a woman named Brandy. She was asking what happen and like Marcus she was trying to keep my attention so I wouldn't see the other two put my dad in a bag and zip it up. I saw them. She started to walk around, I sat in the back of the ambulance with Marcus. He gave me some water and offered me his lunch he just bought when they got the call. 1am lunch. I thought that was funny. Then Brandy came and handed me my trophy. It somehow flew out of the car I guess. I don't know. Then another car showed up. Brandy walked me to it and we got in and she took me home. My mom was so mad. So mad. Then she was sad. She didn't talk to me for like a week. She only came out of her room to use the bathroom. I would hear her cry. I would try to knock on the door. I needed her like she needed me. But she didn't want anyone. She wanted dad."
    "Your grip on Elizabeth's shoulder is noticeably tighter Mr. Lebedinsky."
    "She wouldn't be this calm if it wasn't."
    "I see. Tell me about your dreams now Elizabeth."
    "They are only a replay of everything I just told you."
    "Same every time?"
    "How many times a week would you say you have these dreams?"
    "Used to be every night. Now I get them maybe eight or nine times a month."
    "Last dream?"
    "Two days ago."
    "How do you usually wake up from these dreams?"
    "On the floor. Crying, sweating, and confused."
    "Confused how?"
    "Sometimes I will run outside to help my dad. But he's never there."
    "Did they ever arrest the per…"
    "No. That person is still out there. Somewhere. I don't know where. Still breathing. Still living."
    "Is there anything..."
    "That mother fucker took my dad from me and my mom. He took my dad away. Why is their life so much more important than my dad's? Huh!? He's probably at home right now hugging and kissing his wife. His daughter! Making Sunday breakfast, laughing in the kitchen. Helping his fucking daughter with her science homework!"
    "Okay we're done. Come on Liz... Please?"
    "Heartbeat Sean!"

    His heartbeat never fails. Instantly calm. My tears stop. His grip on me is tight. He doesn't want to let me go.
    "The calming effect of the heartbeat. Only works if the heart that's beating is a heart you have strong connection with."
    "A mother's heartbeat calms her child. This is because of the strong connection they have. How long have you two been a couple?"
    "A week."
    "What brought you two together?"
    "How long did it take before you realized you needed each other?"
    "Sean's heartbeat calmed me way before we even knew we had feelings for each other. We were dancing, and I got emotional and his reaction was just to put my head on his chest. Why are you asking me this?"
    "If I were to have grabbed you like he did and had you listen to my heartbeat, it wouldn't have worked."
    "No. Strong connection with the person is why the heartbeat calms. Two hearts beating as one. Strong connection like you two obviously have doesn't happen too often with people. You have a bad day, he will have a bad day. He has a bad day, you will have a bad day."
    "Did you have a bad day too Sean?"
    "He will feel your pain as if it was his own. You will feel his as well."
    "Strong chemistry and both people tend to feed off each other."
    "We learned that in dance."
    "Now. Professionally, I would prescribe you meds. You need them Elizabeth. Without a doubt. But, what I just now saw. Between you two can work just the same as pills. The placebo affect. Okay?"
    "I want to ask you both a couple personal questions. If you don't mind. May I?"
    "Are you two having sex?"
    "Sensual sex. Slow and intimate..."
    "Making love?"
    "Yes. Do you cry? Not every time, but sometimes?"
    "I do."
    "Mr. Lebedinsky?"
    "I get emotional, yes. I was fighting real hard to hold my tears back just a minute ago when she asked for my heartbeat. I can't stand seeing her like that."
    "You will feel her pain as if it was your own. Do you understand that statement now that you've just said that to me?"
    "I do. I do feel pretty shitty when she's feeling shitty."
    "Are you willing to help her?"
    "I'd do anything I can to help her. I can't bring back her dad or make her forget what she saw. I just try my best to keep her mind clear of all of that."
    "Do you see yourself with another woman?"
    "No I don't. I've seen her on her worst day and I've seen her on her best day and my feelings are exactly the same. She makes me a better person in every way possible. I fall in love with her over and over again everyday. It's a good feeling to have. I like it. But it scares me at the same time."
    "Do you feel exactly the same Elizabeth?"
    "Yes. It does scare me too. I don't ever want him to go."
    "He's not going anywhere. Not unless you leave him. Am I wrong Mr. Lebedinsky?"
    "Elizabeth is not going anywhere. Not unless you leave her. Am I wrong Elizabeth?"
    "Matter at hand. Love. True love, sets of chemicals in our brains. The same chemicals an anti depressant does. The placebo affect."
    "Sean can fix me?"
    "If he's willing to, and he's already said he would. Then yes. It is very possible he can fix you. He can suppress the bad things in your mind. Just like an antidepressant. Over time, the dreams will stop."
    "What do I need to do?"
    "The simplest thing. Be there for her when she needs you. Day or night, rain or snow. You get to her. That's all. If you happen to spend the night together, fall asleep on chest. Fall asleep to his heartbeat. Then I want you to call me in the morning. Here is my card. My cell is written on the back."
    "Why do I need to call?"
    "You will know why."
    "You two are free to go."
    "Thank you."
    "Everything. I hated you for a minute there. But you're not so bad. So thank you."
    "I am only doing my job Elizabeth. But, you are welcome."

    The heartbeat only calms if it's a heartbeat I have a strong connection with? His heartbeat worked before I even knew I really wanted him. That's what I'm not understanding here.
    "Your heartbeat calmed me before we even told each other our feelings. We hardly knew each other at the time. How is that possible?"
    "I don't know. From what she said, I guess our connection was there all along."
    "You're it for me Sean."
    "You're it for me too."
    "I not scared of this anymore. Are you?"
    "I love you so much, you have no idea."
    "I don't think I could love anyone the way I love you."
    "Love me more and more each day?"
    "I really do fall in love with you over again each day. Every morning I see you face I fall in love. It's pretty much the best part of my day. Waking up and seeing you in bed next to me. I love it. I really do."
    "I can't wait to marry you."
    "Can I ask you something about that?"
    "Teach me to say that."
    "D-at. I can't do it."
    "Oh my god! It's so much more cuter when you’re trying to say it!"
    "D-at. Hold on... D… Dat! Yeah! It's not happing."
    "My side hurts now."
    "So glad you find so much humor in the way I talk. This and that is not funny to me."
    "Dees and dat."
    "Anyway. My question now?"
    "What's up?"
    "When we get married, are going to take my name or keep yours?"
    "What do you want me to do?"
    "I want you to take mine."
    "Then I will take yours."
    "Are you okay? After all that shit in Mr. Avalon's office?"
    "No and yes. I'm in a good mood still. But she made me remember details of the night that I have tried so hard to forget."
    "Actually seeing your dad die?"
    "Yeah. I don't want to remember his eyes that way. Ever."
    "Sorry you had to see it in the first place."
    "Are you sure you want to take this fucked up road with me Sean?"
    "I am not going anywhere Liz. I'm staying right here with you. Take me wherever you want."
    "There's no need to cry."
    "I love you."
    "I love you too. Come on. We have to get to English."
    "No crying."


    Flinch is super nice and super cute. I think he's nervous around me though. He shakes likes he is. I touched his arm to ask him a question and he shook like I scared him. He has no need to be nervous around me. I don't bite. Seriously, I don't bite.
    "This is you. Mr. Ballas."
    "Okay. Thank you."
    "You're welcome."
    "Thanks for showing me where my locker was too. Meet me by it after class?"
    "Hey Flinch!"
    "Hey Liz."
    "Nice job telling the Ballerina Queen to go swimming at the dump."
    "Sean told you?"
    "I told you I was going to tell her."
    "Best thing I've heard all day so far. She went swimming!"
    "I got a kick out of the phone call I got last night. I was trying to be nice and not laugh."
    "Then you said try the thick water at the dump!"
    "Yeah, I lost it when I said that."
    "Oh god that's so gross!"
    "I kind of hope she does it."
    "Me too!"
    "Wow. You both are a little fucked up."
    "You hope she does it. After the shit she said to Liz."
    "So gross though! But yes."
    "Anyway! Regan right?"
    "Yeah. You're tall as hell and you have flat shoes on."
    "I get that a lot. Liz by the way."
    "She's a cutie Flinch."
    "Thank you for that."
    "Is that like a girl's thing to do? Put a boy on blast in front of a cute girl?"
    "Boop! Yes. Let's leave them two alone. Alone time for Flinch and the Purple Head!"
    "So… That's Liz."
    "She's Sean's girlfriend?"
    "I can't get over how damn tall she is. Why isn't she a cheerleader?"
    "She's a dancer."
    "Really? Any good?"
    "She's extremely good. So is Sean."
    "Sean is a dancer too?"
    "Hip hop like you?"
    "No. He's a ballroom dancer."
    "You'll see later today at the rally. They'll be dancing."
    "Oh! Okay."
    "I need to get to math. I'll meet you after class."
    "Okay. Thanks again."
    "You're welcome." 

    Liz is super tall, Sean is super hot, Mr. Ballas is oh my god! There's so many good looking boys here! I’m starting to love this place.
    "I love your hair!"
    "Have met this nasty cute couple yet?"
    "Sean and Liz."
    "Yep. Where you from?"
    "Sandy beaches to this place? What's wrong with your parents?"
    "I got sent here to live with my dad."
    "Ah! Trouble maker?"
    "I stole my Grandpa's car and wrecked it."
    "Oh shit!"
    "Everyone was mad."
    "I saw you and Flinch chatting it up. Thinking about hooking it up with him?"
    "He is super nice and so cute."
    "He's a really good guy. He won't do you wrong."
    "I think I make him nervous."
    "Why do you say that?"
    "Every time I talk to him he shakes like he's scared of me."
    "Oh! He can't help that. Sean?"
    "What's wrong with Flinch? The shaking."
    "He has Parkinson's."
    "There you go!"
    "Regan thinks he's nervous around her because he was shaking."
    "He's not nervous around you. He likes you, thinks your hot. He made me move so the only empty seat was next to him. He wanted to meet you."
    "Did he really make you move?"
    "Is he a nice guy?"
    "Yes. He has a nice car, a great job, he won't fuck around on you. Really good guy."
    "Hook it up Regan!"
    "I just met him Emily. I don't even know him."
    "Are you having lunch with him?"
    "Ask him questions and get to know him."
    "James is an open book. He'll tell you anything you ask him."
    "See! He thinks you're cute you think he's cute."
    "Well, I do like him. I'm only nervous he might try to kiss me."
    "I never kissed a boy."

    Liz and Sean both turn around and look at me funny. Emily is looking at me funny too!
    "You never kissed a boy?"
    "Only on the cheek."
    "Are you a virgin?"
    "How fucking old are you?"
    "How old is Flinch Sean?"
    "Just turned?"
    "He'll be seventeen in December."
    "I didn't know he was that much older than me. Is that bad?"
    "Is he a virgin?"
    "He's a good guy Regan. He's only had sex with one girl. He doesn't have cooties."
    "Flinch only fucked one girl?"
    "They dated for like a year Liz."
    "She's a fucking bitch to him."
    "That's why he left her."
    "Do I need to worry about Rebecca?"
    "No. She's my cousin. If she tries something stupid I'll put her dumbass in her place. So will Liz."
    "It's true!"
    "How do I let Flinch know I like him without actually telling him I do?"
    "Hold his hand."
    "That will work! When you guys are walking around just grab his hand."
    "What if he pulls his hand away?"
    "According to Sean I don't think he will."
    "He won't. These two are right. Grab his hand."
    "What do I do if he tries to kiss me?"
    "Kiss him."
    "On the mouth?"
    "You two kiss real fast."
    "Muah! Or tongue?"
    "Muah!... See, nothing to it."
    "If you keep your mouth closed he won't try and French you. Right Sean?"
    "I don't know."
    "Tap on the lips, mouth closed, and he won't French you."
    "I'm more nervous now."
    "You'll be fine little cricket. You two going to Nitro tonight?"
    "Are you kidding me! I have to see Jacob get he ass handed to him in his own fucking car."
    "What's Nitro?"
    "A club my boyfriend's brother owns. You should come too."
    "I can't. I'm on daddy probation. I have to earn my freedom."
    "Sneak out."
    "No way! He'll make me dye my hair."
    "That's it?"
    "Yes. I have six strikes. Instead of giving strike one, he's making me dye my hair."
    "Nitro is worth it."
    "I love my hair too much."
    "You can dye it back to purple."
    "Then I'd get a strike for dying it."
    "Stop encouraging her Em."
    "She's a teenager Sean. She's supposed to get into trouble."
    "Trouble is why she is here."
    "Regan Avalon?"
    "Right here."
    "Come up here and grab your book. Since you are new, I won't make you take today's test. Just sit quietly and read the chapter I marked for you. Get you caught up. If you're still lost read the previous chapter."
    "Take your seat."
    "Is Mr. Avalon your dad?"
    "Damn! How old is he?"
    "Like twenty seven."
    "Holy crap! He was... Uh."
    "Fifteen Emily."
    "Thanks Liz. Young when he had you."

    Emily is also really cool. So far everyone is really nice. That chapter I had to read was super boring. I read the previous chapter too. I'm still lost! I need to read some more. Flinch isn't by my locker! He said he was going to meet me. Man!
    "Hi there."
    "You scared me!"
    "I'm sorry."
    "I thought for a minute you weren't going to meet me."
    "I was walking behind you the whole time."
    "Where do you feel like going for lunch?"
    "I have to stay here and eat."
    "That's fine. There's plenty of different things to choose from. Or I can run somewhere and get something."
    "Let's eat here."
    "Where is Ms. Renner's class?"
    "Right there."
    "Mr. Luis?"
    "Third door that way."
    "And the gym?"
    "Downstairs kind of across from your dad's office. It's the locker room. Walk in, left is the boys and right is the girls. There will be a door on the opposite wall that goes into the gym."
    "Okay. Cool. We go through the locker room for the rally?"
    "No. We go through the side door. Let's go get some food and walk around. I'll show you."

    Lunch here is really good! It's real food and not like a frozen thawed out meal at my old school. And! I didn't have to pay! Flinch bought it for me. How nice is that? He showed me which door we go to after lunch and all that cool stuff. I got to see his car. Sean was right, it's a nice car. Brand new. He's only had it for about three months. He had to get a bottle of pills out of his glove box. I haven't grabbed his hand. I'm kind of hoping he grabs mine. Or puts an arm around me. Something! A cozy spot in the shade? Okay!
    "You want to move closer to people? You seem nervous being over here alone with with me."
    "I'm a little bit nervous."
    "Because I kind of like you."
    "I am making you nervous?"
    "Okay? Why?"
    "You're not going to try to kiss me or something right?"
    "That was a loud sigh of relief."
    "Sorry! I just never kissed a boy is all."
    "Now I see why you're nervous. I won't try to kiss you."
    "Why not?"
    "You pretty much told me not to."
    "Relax. I will not try to kiss you. You're the boss. Not me."
    "How about we just talk?"
    "Why do you take the pills in your car?"
    "I have to. I have P.D and I have to take those three times a day."
    "Parkinson's. Notice how I shake sometimes?"
    "You have to take them forever?"
    "Yeah, pretty much."
    "What happens if you don't take them?"
    "Mmm... The shaking will get real bad. I won't be able to talk because my jaw will lock up and shit. It's like a seizer but it's not one. Make sense?"
    "What's your natural hair color?"
    "April 7th. Yours?"
    "December 24th."
    "Do you get extra presents?"
    "I use to. Now I just get money for my birthday and Christmas."
    "Any brothers or sisters?"
    "Nope. Just me. What about you?"
    "Half brother."
    "Your mom and dad ever married?"
    "No. My mom left my dad when I was three. According to him, he begged her not to take me but she did anyway, and never let him see me."
    "That's pretty shitty."
    "My mom said he got her pregnant and left her. I'm not really sure which is true."
    "I don't see your dad lying."
    "Yeah. Did you see him at all growing up?"
    "Yeah. I saw him here and there."
    "If he left your mom, then he wouldn't have been around at all."
    "Think about it. A guy who takes off on a girl because he got her pregnant is because he doesn't want any part of it. Right?"
    "There you go."
    "Hmm. Thanks for having me realize that."
    "Your dad is a cool guy. He doesn't seem like the dead beat dad type at all."
    "I wanna try this kissing stuff."
    "Are you sure?"
    "You don't seem to sure."
    "Oh my god, you're so..."

    That wasn't as terrifying as I thought it would be! I like it! Liz was right! Mouth closed and I didn't get Frenched. Not really even sure what a French kiss is. I'm French! I don't think we kiss different.
    "I'm so what?"
    "...That was nice. Can I have another one?"
    "How about you kiss me this time."

    I opened my mouth this time just to see what would happen. This is a French kiss? What do I do? Do I put my tongue in his mouth too? Screw it! Why not! Hey! I like this kissing stuff. He bit my bottom lip when I pulled away. Whoa!
    "I like that way better. You bit me."
    "Did you not like it?"
    "Oh! I liked it. Did I do it right? Was I supposed to put my tongue in your mouth too?"
    "Was that seriously your first time kissing a boy?"
    "Yes. I did do it wrong didn't I?"
    "No. There's not really a wrong way to make out."
    "That's what we just did?"
    "Yeah. I take it you never had sex either."
    "Yeeeeea. I don't want sex!"
    "I'm not asking for sex Reg."
    "Reg... I like that."
    "You know what I like?"
    "I'm pretty sure I like you."
    "You don't care I'm only thirteen?"
    "Age is nothing but a number."
    "So you don't care?"
    "You don't care that I never had sex before?"
    "What if that's something I want to try?"
    "I am not taking something from you that you can never get back unless you are absolutely positive it's something you want to do."
    "How many girls have you had sex with?"
    "Was it her first time too?"
    "How long were you guys a couple before you... You know."
    "About five or six months. Something like that. We did other shit before we actually had sex."
    "Like what?"
    "I knew you wouldn't understand that."
    "Tell me."
    "Blow job?"
    "When a girl sucks on your thing."
    "Yes. Eating out? I don't mean dinner."
    "No idea."
    "When a guy licks a girl down there."
    "Her vagina?"
    "Yes. That's pretty much oral."
    "And you stay a virgin?"
    "You like to eat out?"
    "I'm fucking with you. Yes. I do enjoy it very much."
    "Does it feel good?"
    "I couldn't tell you. I don't have a vagina. But from the reaction my ex had, I assume it feels real nice."
    "Can we try that? Maybe?"
    "I guess we could. Not this second though."
    "I like you. I'm not nervous anymore."
    "I don't know how this works."
    "How what works?"
    "We made out. Does that mean you're my boyfriend?"
    "Do you want me to be?"
    "Kind of."
    "Kind of?"
    "I don't know! I don't know how this works."
    "Okay, this is how it works. Regan?"
    "Do you want to be my girlfriend?"
    "That would make me?"
    "My boyfriend."
    "Do we kiss on it?"
    "If you want to."
    "I want to. You have to bite me again too."

    My dad might kill me for this!


    I'm getting so nervous. Like I'm going to puke nervous. Yeah! Can!

    "Check on her Ivan!"
    "Are you okay?"
    "Oh! I need gum."
    "I have mints in my makeup kit. Are you alright?"
    "I'm nervous. Any puke on my dress?"
    "Thank you Rye."
    "Why are you nervous?"
    "My mom is here Sean."
    "Let me finish your hair. Come sit back down. Then we do makeup."
    "You don't need to be nervous Liz. Get back into it Beanstalk."
    "I know. Just been so long. Ow!"
    "Sorry! I didn't mean to poke you in the head with the bobby pin."
    "These bobbies are super cute!"
    "My mom bought them for you. She said they would go really good with your dress. She was right."
    "Your mom is spoiling me."
    "She likes you a lot."
    "That's what Sean said."
    "She's just getting you the things you need for dancing. I don't think she's spoiling you."
    "Where did Sean go?"
    "I'm sitting right here."
    "Oh! What are you doing?"
    "Lacing my shoes."
    "He does that every time he dances. Unlaces them and then relaces them."
    "Elizabeth asked why you unlace your shoes and relace them."
    "I like them to be... Um... A certain tight... ness. Did I say that right?"
    "Certain tightness. Yeah."
    "Yeah. You move around so much your laces get loose. So I just relace them."
    "I am. Plus, I don't want to stumble or fall because my shoe is loose."
    "Hair is all done! Look!"
    "Wow! Nice job Rye! It's beautiful."
    "It's what I do. Now! Make up. Here's a couple wipes, scrub that cheap crap off your face please."
    "You're such a bitch in a nice way."
    "I know."
    "I needed these wipes in my life yesterday Rye!"
    "You can get them at the grocery store in the pharmacy department."
    "I need these wipes Sean."
    "I bought all new brushes and sponges just for you Elizabeth."
    "Can I keep them?"
    "They stay in my kit until after the Seneca Classic, then you can have them. It just cleaner to use new brushes and stuff on people. Don't ever share your eyeliner pencil."
    "Pink eye?"
    "Yes. Tissue, dry your face."
    "What is all of that you're doing?"
    "Mixing foundation."
    "To match your skin tone."
    "Oh! I don't do all that... What's that clear stuff you just put on my face?"
    "What's that do?"
    "Makes your skin smooth. It has to dry first though."
    "Oh! Why are you mixing different shades of foundation?"
    "You'll see."
    "Am I good?"
    "Yup. See how this matches your neck perfect?
    "Always match to your neck. Now! Contour. Lighter shade goes here, and the darker here..."
    "I'm a football player!"
    "Just wait! The middle shade goes along the chin and ears and everywhere in between. See?"
    "Now sponge. Blend. Gently! You push to hard when you blend it'll come off."
    "Why are you smiling Sean?"
    "Rye will show you."
    "Did you do something mean to my face?"
    "No! Look!"
    "Whoa! I can never make my foundation look this good."
    "That's because you're smearing crap on your face."
    "I use powder!"
    "Then you're dusting crap on your face."
    "How is this not shinny?"
    "It's this translucent powder. It's called baking. Dust your face thick like I did, leave it on for 10 minutes, and dust it off. It locks everything in place. I also use this black powder here and mix it with this paste for eyeliner. I also use this white paste as eyelid primer."
    "No pencil or liquid?"
    "This white paste as eyelid primer?"
    "Makes the shadows go BING!"
    "You're totally doing my hair and makeup for prom and shit."
    "You should let me do something with your hair."
    "Like what?"
    "I don't know. Cut and color maybe. Are you attached to the long blonde?"
    "Not really. Sean?"
    "I like it long. I like when you do turns and it hits me in the face."
    "Are you serious?"
    "Ivan is odd."
    "He likes to sniff me when I'm all sweaty."
    "Our dad does that to our mom."
    "Sean told me that."
    "Why do you like that Ivan? I think it's gross."
    "I have no idea why I like it. I just do."
    "You don't like the smell of Scott all sweaty?"
    "Fuck no! Oil and sweat don't mix. It's gross."
    "Not even sweaty after sex?"
    "It is better than oil sweat. But no, I still don't like it."
    "Does your mom like it when she gets sniffed?"
    "She doesn't seem to mind it. I guess she's just used to it. Do you like it when Ivan smells you?"
    "I do. It turns me on."
    "You're odd too! You look so good in natural makeup. What do you think Ivan?"
    "She's just as beautiful without makeup."
    "I know! That's why I chose to go with the natural colors. Little bit of mascara and eyeliner is all you really need."
    "Lemme see!"
    "You like?"
    "I would have never used browns. It looks so good Rye."
    "You're scared of color. This looks so much better than the smoky eyes you do."
    "It took me ages to get the smoky eyes down."
    "Do the smoky eyes with the browns. That's pretty much what I did. You're beautiful without makeup. You need to do this look if you must wear makeup."
    "I do love it. You have to teach me that contour trick!"
    "I will."
    "Cool. Thanks."
    "Let me take a picture of you two so I can send it to our mom and dad."
    "Send it to me too!"
    "I will. What's your number?"
    "I sent it. I sent it to you too Ivan."
    "Thank you!"
    "Mom said you two look great, and you need to let her know if your mom loves it later."
    "I will. I'm getting nervous again."
    "Breathe Elizabeth. Don't worry about anyone but Ivan."
    "I know. I just hope my mom loves it."
    "She will Liz. Relax."
    "I love you."
    "Love you too."
    "Aw! You two are cute."


    I almost forgot about Lizzy's history thing today. Thankfully, Jim gave me a call this morning to remind me. We planned to go out to lunch this afternoon, but then I decided to cook something and surprise him. He really enjoyed it. I enjoyed it as well. Not too many parents came today. I do see Devin's brother and a woman with him who I assume is his wife from the very big ring on her finger. I also see the man who put tires on my car and changed my oil. I believe his name is Scott. I might be wrong. Beside those three, I see no other older people.
    "I don't see any parent's here. I assume Devin's brother is here for him?"
    "He might be. Sometimes the parents come and sometimes they don't."
    "The rules in high school changed a lot. Like the young lady over there with the shaved head or the one with the purple hair. I would have gotten into trouble for that."
    "I do need to have a chat with Michael about that purple hair."
    "That's his daughter."
    "Excuse me... Samantha? A moment?"
    "I want you to meet Ms. Sanders mother."
    "Amanda, this is Elizabeth's history teacher Samantha, Samantha, Amanda."
    "Great to meet you Mrs. Sanders."
    "And you."
    "Are you ready to see Elizabeth's presentation?"
    "I am."
    "Great! I'm just about to get up there and get things rolling. I hope you enjoy it."
    "I'm sure I will."

    All of the students here obviously love Samantha. Out of all the teachers who went to the center of the gym to speak, she got the loudest screams and applause.
    "Your students love her."
    "She's the youngest teacher here. Very laid back and she seems to connect more with her students."
    "That's really good."
    "Can I speak now? Are all of you finished?"
    "Ahhhhoooww! Ms. Coopy! Wooooo!"
    "Thank you Mr. Hart!"
        "Now I see why Lizzy liked that boy so much."
        "Mr. Hart is something else."
    "All right. We have something very special happening right now. We have a very special performance by Sean Lebedinsky and our newest member in the dance program... Elizabeth Sanders..."
        "I'm sorry I lied to you Mandy."
        "Oh my god."

    "What you guys are about to see is a dance Elizabeth put together for her mom, who just so happens to be here this afternoon. These two have worked extremely hard for over a week making this dance perfect, just for you Mrs. Sanders. This is Elizabeth's way of saying she's sorry for quitting dance after the passing of her dad, she said she never meant to hurt you like she did. This dance is also her way of proving to you that dance is still something she enjoys doing and it's still the one thing she wants to do for the rest of her life. She wants to continue making you proud and continue making her dad proud even though he's no longer with us today. And now I'm just standing up here ruining my makeup. So ladies and gentlemen and of course Mrs. Sanders. Enjoy."


    The whole gym got quiet, and the lights dimmed a little bit. The only sound I heard was Lizzy walking in heels. She's just as beautiful as I remember. The moment the music started, and they both took their first steps I knew exactly what dance this was. She did it way better than I did.
    "Oh my god Jim. This is Lizzy's dad and my first dance."
    "I know. She wanted to do something special for you."
    "You knew all along didn't you? This dance, her being in dance?"
    "Yes. Elizabeth made me promise not to say a word to you. I'm sorry."
    "No! Thank you! It wouldn't have been as good if I knew. Look at my girl. I told you she was like a beautiful angel."
    "Very beautiful Mandy."
    "She accepts you."
    "I know. She told me herself."
    "Her and Sean are so amazing together. She wasn't this good with her old dance partner. Her and Sean connect more."
    "I overheard Jacob talking to his girlfriend this morning Mandy. Elizabeth and Sean are planning to get married on his birthday."
    "Are you sure that's what you heard?"
    "She is in love with him. If that's what she wants to do, then I'm fine with it. Look at the two of them. They're perfect."
    "I agree."
    "I'm okay with it Jim. I am. She's all grown up now. I'm going to let her do this."
    "You have done a damn fine job with her."
    "I need to set my little bird free."

    Their Rumba was perfect. Lizzy cried the whole time, but kept on going. Sean is amazing just like Lizzy said. So cute how he picked her up and brought her to me. The second her feet touched the floor she flew into my arms.
    "I'm so sorry I lied to you mom. I had to! It wouldn't have been as special if you knew."
    "You're so beautiful Lizzy. You and Sean are so perfect together. I loved it. Your dad would've loved it."
    "I love you mom."
    "I love you too Lizzy. I'm okay with you marrying Sean when you go to Russia."
    "What? Who told you this?"
    "Jim overheard Jacob this morning. You're a grown woman Lizzy. The way you and Sean look at each other is the same way me and your dad used to look at each other. I'm not mad Lizzy. I want you to be happy. If this something you and Sean want to do, then please do it. I will not stop you. You're my little bird who's ready to leave the nest now."
    "Go. Be free."
    "But I still need you mom."
    "I'm not going anywhere Lizzy. I'm simply giving you to this man right here. You did hear everything I just said to Lizzy?"
    "Take care of her."
    "I will."
    "Come here. Thank you for bringing her back into the light."
    "You're welcome."
    "Please don't ever let her fall again."
    "I won't. I promise."
    "I have something else for you mom."
    "Unzip me and look at my tag."
    "Lorenzo Bridal. M. Sanders. Where did you get this dress made?"
    "Sean's mom had it made for me. Do you like it?"
    "I love it. I had no idea you could make such a beautiful dress out of an old shirt."
    "Me either. Sean told me you could."
    "You're already doing such a good job Sean. Taking care of her when she had a bad day. Just keep doing what you're doing."
    "I will."
    "Lizzy's dad would've loved you. He would've seen how happy you make his Beanstalk and he would've accepted you right away."
    "He would of loved you Sean."
    "Don't go home yet mommy! We have one more dance."
    "Okay. Go."

    That wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

    "Are you okay Mandy?"
    "Yes. I'm wonderful."


    My mom is okay with me marrying Sean! My new best thing I have heard all day! She kicked me out of nest. I hope she didn't kick me out of the house too. Fuck it! Happy face!
    "Come here."
    "Oh my god! How did Jacob find out?"
    "I don't care."
    "Oh! Calm down!"
    "Ha! We have to change."
    "Am I interrupting?"
    "No she's not."
    "We can celebrate later my Love."
    "Did you happen to tell Hayden about me and Liz getting married?"
    "Yes. I'm sorry Ivan!"
    "Liz's mom found out."
    "Oh no! I'm so sorry!"
    "No! My mom gave me to Sean! She's fine with it. Sean is giving you a hard time."
    "I will beat you Ivan! That's not funny making me feel bad."
    "You know I don't like people knowing my business. Who else knows?"
    "Hayden, Melissa, Jacob, Devin, and Emily. Probably Oden too. Hayden doesn't keep nothing from him."
    "Why the fuck did you tell all of them?"
    "I didn't! I told Hayden. She opened her mouth in front of Devin and Jacob. Jacob told Melissa and Emily was there."
    "Who cares! Stop fighting. My mom is okay with it!"
    "I'm fighting with her to try and make this go away."
    "Aw! I naturally looked down when you pointed at it. Go find some ice Ivan."
    "I need to get changed. Unzip me Sean."
    "Not a good idea right now."
    "Unzip me Rye."
    "Change and then I'll fix your makeup and do your hair. Go find ice Ivan."
    "He needs jay."
    "Oh! No time! Go find ice."
    "That's funny."
    "No it's not!"
    "Love you!"

    Poor Sean! Our Jive was perfect! I didn't fucked up that one hand pass and Sean didn't almost fall on his ass. Just perfect. We defiantly ended the rally with a bang. Now! Math, then to Sean's house to take care of him. Looky here! Ms. Regan has math with me. Test? Done! What slow pokes!
    "Can I ask you something?"
    "Does Sean eat out?"
    "Does he eat out on you."
    "It's so adorable how inexperienced you are."
    "Did I say that wrong?"
    "Yes. Does Sean go down on me?"
    "Yeah. That."
    "He does. Why?"
    "Does it feel good?"
    "Yes... What's up Regan?"
    "Me and Flinch are boyfriend and girlfriend..."
    "You two are together. Boyfriend and girlfriend? No one really says that anymore."
    "Oh. Okay. Um… He doesn't want to have sex with me. Not anytime soon anyway. He said he doesn't want to take something from me unless I'm sure it's something I really want to do. He said we can always do other things before we do have sex. Oral."
    "Well, you have to kiss him first."
    "I did. I kissed him at lunch. I put my tongue in his mouth and he bit my bottom lip. I really like it."
    "Making out is fun."
    "But oral... Do you do it?"
    "Yes. Sean goes down on me and I suck his wiener."
    "How do you do that?"
    "Suck dick?"
    "You just suck on it. It's kind of a learning process I guess. You won't be very good at it the first time. Hell! Flinch might even tell you what to do. The only thing you really need to worry about is him getting off in your mouth."
    "Getting off?"
    "Cumming in your mouth."
    "Some girls swallow and some don't."
    "What do you do?"
    "Swallow. I like it. You might not."
    "Do guys like it better if a girl swallows?"
    "I don't really know. I have not swallowed before and it didn't really seem to matter."
    "Is the taste bad?"
    "It's a little bitter and salty. If you want to swallow but you're afraid of the taste, just make sure his dick is at the back of your mouth so it just goes right down. But he knows this is you're first time, I don't think he'll expect you to swallow."
    "It's not like pee right?"
    "No. It's thick like yogurt. Bitter salty yogurt."
    "Some girls like it."
    "What about him going down on me? Does it hurt?"
    "Not at all. He's not putting anything inside of you. Well, he might put his tongue in but that won't hurt at all."
    "Does it feel good?"
    "Very good. The only thing boys don't really like is hair down there."
    "How do I shave it? I can't really see it."
    "I use Nair."
    "I have Nair! I use it on my legs."
    "Put it on thick like you would your legs but leave it on a tad bit longer."
    "Okay. This is all so new to me. It makes me a little bit nervous."
    "Let Flinch teach you. I promise anything he does to you, you will love it."
    "Now, what about sex? I know it hurts the first time."
    "It only hurts for a minute and then it'll feel so good."
    "I'll bleed too right?"
    "A little bit. Not a lot like period blood."
    "How long will I bleed for?"
    "Only a minute or so."
    "Oh! So not for days?"
    "Boys won't do anything with a girl while she's on her period right?
    "Most don't. But some will have sex with them in the shower when she's on her period."
    "Have you?"
    "No. I don't even really have a period."
    "You never had one?"
    "No, I have. I don't have one right now. I do every three months."
    "The birth control I take."
    "You have unprotected sex?"
    "Yes. I only have sex with my boyfriend. I don't go around fucking random guys. I'm not a whore."
    "I like his accent."
    "All the girls do."
    "Where is he from?"
    "Does he speak Russian?"
    "Cool. Does he talk to you in Russian sometimes?"
    "He does. It's sexy."
    "I only know a little bit of French."
    "Oh yeah?"
    "Yeah. My Grandma taught me."
    "I met your Grandma today. She looks young."
    "She's had some work done."
    "Her nose is totally fake."
    "That's funny."


    That chat wit Liz made me feel so much better about this whole thing with Flinch. I'm still nervous! But not nearly as bad. Hopefully, he can teach me a thing or two like Liz mentioned. That would be awesome.
    "You need to stop sneaking up on me!"
    "Kiss maybe? Before we walk down by my dad's office."
    "Of course."
    "Thank you."
    "This is for you."
    "Oh! Your phone number. I'll give you mine when I know it."
    "It should up on my caller ID."
    "Then you can give it to me."
    "You need a cell phone."
    "I have one. My dad hasn't activated it yet. I have to earn it. So stupid."
    "Do you think you'll be able to hang out at all this weekend?"
    "I don't know. Daddy probation. Also stupid."
    "Let me give you a ride home on Monday."
    "I might get in trouble for that."
    "You take the bus right?"
    "Your dad won't see you get in my car unless he's at the door watching, and he can't see the front of the school from his office."
    "That's true. But I don't know where I live exactly."
    "You live next door to Liz."
    "Yeah. I live on the same street. Like six houses down and across the street."
    "Okay. Yeah! You can give me a ride on Monday."
    "Cool. Shall we walk down now?"
    "Yeah. Let me finish grabbing my things. I don't have a history book and Ms. Cooper gave us homework."
    "You can take mine. But I'll need back before Monday so I can do my homework."
    "Okay. I don't think she thought that one through when she gave me homework."
    "I usually finish my homework in class, so she may have thought I'd give it to you. Here you go."
    "Thank you. Now I'm ready."
    "So... You have a good first day here?"
    "I actually did. Best part was meeting you. Can I ask you something?"
    "Are you okay with how inexperienced I am?"
    "I'm fine with it."
    "Will you teach me certain things?"
    "Like what?"
    "How to suck on you."
    "I can't teach you that. I can... Coach you. I guess."
    "Reg... Stop for a minute. I know this is your first everything. I am not one of those guys who's going to pressure you into doing anything with me. That's not me. I won't ask you to suck my dick and I don't expect you to when we do get to the point of messing around. When that happens you honestly don't have to do anything if you don't want to. You can just lay there and let me show you what it's all about. Alright?"
    "You really are a nice guy like everyone has told me.
    "Who's everyone?"
    "Liz, Sean, Emily, Piper, and someone with a nasty ass cut on his face. I forgot his name."
    "Blaine. What exactly did he say?"
    "He saw us kissing at lunch. He said I was really cute, and that you're a lucky fuck for snatching me up before someone else did, and he said I was lucky because he's known you since like preschool and you don't treat girls bad and you don't cheat on them."
    "Well, he's not wrong."
    "That's good to hear!"
    "Here we are at daddy's office."
    "Step over here. I want one more kiss please."
    "I get off work at 9:00. Give me a call around 9:30 if you can."
    "I will. I'll see you in a little bit."
    "I have to get a few things at the store."
    "Oh! Then yeah, I'll see you in a bit."
    "Bye Flinch."
    "Bye Reg."

    My first little heartbreak! Watching him walk away. He's a good guy! I love it! Oh! I should of knocked!
    "My dad is kissing my history teacher."
    "And my daughter was kissing a boy at lunch."
    "I saw nothing if you saw nothing?"
    "You do know where we're going after I take you to the store right?"
    "Michael... Give her a break. I told you James is a very good kid. You looked at his file. He has excellent grades and a damn near perfect attendance. He's a stand up kid."
    "She's thirteen Samantha."
    "So. She's going to kiss boys. There is no way you can stop it unless you keep her in a basement. Which is frowned upon!"
    "That's not a bad idea!"
    "He's kidding Regan."
    "Am I?"
    "Yes, you are!"
    "Come have a seat for a minute Regan. Little chat."
    "This is where you're going to earn a few freedom points. Okay?"
    "I'll get out of here."
    "No. Please stay Samantha, I might need your help."
    "All right."
    "What is James' last name Regan?"
    "I’ll give you this instead… His name is Theodor Jameson Larson Jr. We talked dad."
    "Well played. What all do you know about Mr. Larson?"
    "He goes by James, but everyone calls him Flinch because he's a hip hop dancer. He has P.D... Parkinson's. He has to take pills for it three times a day, and if he has some sort of issue with his P.D he has this shot thing in his glove box. He pokes it in his leg. He said all his friends know how to use it just in case, so he showed me how to do it too. Just in case. Um... His favorite color is burgundy like his car. He saved money for like two years so he could buy his car. It's a brand new Mustang GT. He's only had it for three months. His birthday is December 24th, and he will be seventeen this year. He's the assistant manager at the grocery store. He wears size 11 and a half shoes. He's 6'0. He's only had sex with one girl. He doesn't want to have sex with me anytime soon. Oh! And his phone number is..."
    "That's enough."
    "What does he know about you?"
    "Everything from my natural hair color to my size seven shoes. And he knows I'm a virgin and he doesn't want to have sex with me anytime soon."
    "Do not have sex Regan."
    "Michael... It will happen. Just like the kissing. You can't stop her. Only prepare her for it."
    "I know if I have sex I use a condom and all that. I don't plan on having sex with him anytime soon dad. I promise. The whole sex thing scares me. I don't want my thing to hurt and bleed."
    "Samantha... Help me."
    "Sex for the first time does hurt Regan, and you will be sore a day or two after as well. And some girls, including myself. Sex will hurt the second time and the third time. Your dad can tell you no until he's blue in the face. But the fact is, you are going to do it eventually. When that time comes just be safe about it. Make sure James uses a condom."
    "I'm only being honest. My dad said to be honest with him when he asked me a question. Me and Flinch talked about sex and stuff and he doesn't want to take something from me unless I'm sure I want to do it. And we talked about other stuff we can do before we have sex."
    "Oral. He said he can go..."
    "Don't explain."
    "Oral I stay a virgin."
    "She has a point."
    "Please do not encourage her."
    "I'm not. What would you rather her do Michael? Licky, sucky or pokey, pokey?"
    "None! She's thirteen!"
    "I think you want your daughter to stay a virgin as long as possible."
    "Yes. But you and I both know that licky, sucky, turns into pokey real fucking fast."
    "I didn't need to know that about you guys."
    "Me and your dad are adults. We're allowed to have sex when we want."
    "I am not having sex or oral anytime soon! We only talked about it! For extra freedom points I'll tell you what he said about you."
    "Deal. Now spill."
    "Okay! I told him about me, you, and mom and how you said she left you when I was three. And I told him mom said you left her when she got pregnant and I didn't know which one was true."
    "Anyway, he asked if I seen you at all growing up. I told him I seen you here and there. Then! Flinch said if you left mom when she got pregnant it was because you wanted nothing to do with her or me. Because you where around it's most likely mom who lied to me. Then I thought about it. Like really hard too! And you were there a lot. I do remember mom yelling at you to leave on my birthday. I'm not stupid and blind anymore! Flinch helped me realize what you and Grandma have been trying to tell me. I guess he put in a way I understood it easier. I should've been with you this whole time. All mom has been doing all these years is half assing it for your money."
    "Should I make her dye her hair for saying half ass?"
    "How many freedom points was that worth?"
    "This. I activated at lunch, then decided not to give it you after I saw you kissing Mr. Larson. But since you're doing really well at following my honesty rule. Here you go. This is your number."
    "Yay! Can I keep my boyfriend?"
    "…Yes. But please hold off on the sex. I don't want you to end up with a kid as young as I was."
    "I promise I will not have sex anytime soon dad."
    "Thank you."
    "Um... Honesty rule. Do I have to tell you when I have sex?"
    "I… Don't know. Samantha?"
    "Um... I think she should tell you. You told me you two are starting from scratch, building up trust. I think she should tell you. And I think you should promise her that you will not be pissed off. Because you already know it is going to happen eventually."
    "Good point."
    "And it wouldn't hurt to buy her a box of condoms when she does tell you. At least that way you know she is in fact being safe."
    "My mom said no on a box of condoms."
    "If you buy her a box before she has sex. Yeah! That's a no no. That's telling her, hey go have sex tonight! Wait till she tells you."
    "Okay. I agree with all of that. I won't pissed and I'll buy her condoms."
    "I was going to tell him when I did it anyway. Honest thing right?"
    "There you go! More trust has been built up."
    "I have a request for my other freedom points?"
    "Can I hang out with Flinch sometime this weekend?"
    "That, I will have to think about. I do actually want to meet him and get to know him."
    "Okay. Well, what if he's okay with hanging out at home with you there? Pizza and a movie or something."
    "I approve that request."
    "Cool! Um... He asked if he could give me a ride home on Monday. He lives on the same street as us."
    "More freedom points needed?"
    "Dang! What about a ride to school?"
    "If I buy you an alarm clock, will you be up and here on time?"
    "Yes. I promise."
    "Then yes. He can give you a ride to school. When you get here, you will come see me so I know you made it here on time. Okay?"
    "Okay. Can we go buy my tampons now? I used my last one a few hours ago. I need them."
    "Poor Michael. The joys of a teenage daughter!"
    "Let's go buy my daughter some... Tampons."
    "Get use to it dad! I will need them every month!"
    "Buy the big box of 60. Last you two months."
    "Good idea."
    "And now I'm buying my daughter a jumbo box of tampons. Great."
    "I'll give you a call later Michael."
    "All right."
    "Come over tonight! Pizza and a movie."
    "I guess I could if your dad is fine with it."
    "I am fine with it."
    "Okay. How about Chinese take out instead of pizza?"
    "Orange chicken and pork fried rice! Yum!"
    "All right. Give me a call when you guys get settled in and I'll pick up some food."
    "Will do."

    I got me a new phone! Dad is cool. He's very uncomfortable having to buy me tampons and things. But he'll get over it. Flinch's number is saved in my phone. So is my dad's and so is Grandma’s. Now! We text!
    "Hi? Who is this?"

    Selfie and send!

    "Daddy gave you your phone. And thank you for the picture."
    "You're welcome. Are you too busy to text for a minute?"
    "No. What's up?"
    "You earned me major freedom points today. That's how I got my phone."
    "How so?"
    "Our talk at lunch. How you made me realize my dad wasn't the bad parent."
    "I only said he doesn't seem like the dead-beat dad type."
    "No. It was everything really. Him and Grandma tried to tell me and I guess you just put in a way I understood. So thank you."
    "You're welcome."
    "I mentioned the ride home on Monday."
    "He said no. But! He's fine with you giving me a ride to school."
    "I can do that."
    "I also asked about us hanging out this weekend."
    "He said no?"
    "He said he would think about it. He said he wants to meet you and get to know you a little bit before I can hang out alone with you."
    "I asked, what if he's okay hanging out at home with you here. Pizza and movie or something. And he said yes to that."
    "That works for me. He can get to know me there, and I get to see you. Win win."
    "Cool. I'll let him know... I can see you!"
    "See me?"
    "Turn around!"
    "And I see you."

    I'm having a great time right now. And all I'm doing is hanging out with my dad!
    "Get what ever you need."
    "Hmm... Which condoms are the best? I'm joking! The look on your face was epic!"
    "Don't push it."
    "Hey Michael and Regan with a big box of tampons."
    "Hi Liz. New phone! Can I have your number?"
    "Thanks! I sent you a text."
    "And your number is saved! Whatcha guys doing? Besides buying a big box of tampons."
    "Buying a big box of tampons."
    "I am not comfortable in this isle anymore."
    "You are not the only one Mr. Lebedinsky."
    "Is your vanilla here?"
    "Yeah. Yellow bottle right here."
    "Cool. Dad? Can I get this?"
    "Do you need it or want it?"
    "She needs it. In the basket… What!? She needs to smell good."
    "That's what soap is for Elizabeth."
    "She wants to smell like vanilla."
    "Shampoo now. This place doesn't have my kind."
    "What kind?"
    "Vidal for soft hair."
    "It's right here. Grow more... Ah!"
    "Grow more Liz!"
    "Who does this!? Sean!"
    "Yes. Okay! Soft hair, soft hair, silky soft?"
    "Conditioner too?"
    "Here you go."
    "Sweet pea body wash. I see the brand but no sweet pea."
    "You have to dig for it. It's like the best one so people hide it or something. I buy like three bottles at a time. Ha! Found you! Four bottles. One for me. Three for you."
    "Does she really need three bottles?"
    "Yes. Trust me."
    "That's everything I need."
    "Lets go over here and pick out some easy microwave stuff for you for after school and whatever you like to drink."
    "Do you need condoms Sean!?"
    "Wow! Can you say that louder? No! I know better! I know better and I still said it."
    "The banana flavor right!?"
    "Yes! This is the flavor douche you love right!? The Summers Eve!?"
    "Ha! That was awesome!"
    "Oh my god! How are you not embarrassed right now? Everyone looked over here."
    "I'm used to it. Liz is weird."
    "Can we go now?"
    "Boop! Yes."
    "Bye Michael, Regan. Bye big box of tampons!"
    "Oh god."
    "I would get used to it. You're friends with Liz now. She does that. A lot."
    "I might do it back to her."
    "It's way more fun if you do! Like Sean did to me with flavored douche. Okay we are going now. Bye for real."
    "I was so embarrassed for Sean."
    "Elizabeth is weird like he said."
    "She's our neighbor?"
    "The one moving?"
    "Yes. We'll be moving into her house next weekend. Maybe sooner. Not quite sure yet. Pick out what you like."
    "After school yummies! Vegetable Lasagna! Yum!"
    "No need to get those I have some at the house."
    "It's my favorite though."
    "Mine too. I have about ten in the freezer."
    "Okay. These?"
    "I have those as well."
    "Now I know where my taste in food comes from. Ice cream?"
    "Cookie dough or mint chocolate chip? There's only one right answer dad!"
    "Mint chocolate chip."
    "Ding, ding, ding! Why are you smiling at me like a goober?"
    "No reason."
    "You're having fun. Admit it!"
    "I am. You're not as bad as I was told you were."
    "I was just kind of lost. I'm where I'm supposed to be now. I'm not a bad kid. You'll see."
    "I see it."
    "Love you dad. Thanks for not giving up on me like everyone else kind of did."
    "I love you too. Pick out what you like to drink."
    "Orange juice and Dr. Pepper."
    "Is this everything? Double check."
    "Yep! I got everything."
    "All right."
    "I call DJ in the car! You better have some Led Zeppelin on that iPod in your glove box."
    "Do you need a purple umbrella and a 50 cent hat?"
    "Livin', lovin', she's just a woman! I have the most awesome dad ever!"
    "Music knowledge real fast."
    "War Pigs?"
    "Black Sabbath."
    "For those about to rock?"
    "We salute you! AC/DC."
    "Bruno Mars?"
    "Yep! You are defiantly my kid."

    My dad is awesome!


    Dinner was awesome! Vey loved it, Sean loved it, Scott! He loved it. Rye would've loved it if she wasn't allergic to mushrooms. Sean didn't tell me that when I bought the mushrooms at the store. She couldn't eat it at all because I made a mushroom sauce. Vey did have garlic, so I was able to make a simple garlic sauce just for Rye. And guess what!? She loved it. Everything is cleaned up, and all left over's are put away. I even labeled them. I don't wanna kill Rye. Now! It's time to get sexy for Nitro.
    "Can I ask you something?"
    "Yes Love?"
    "Did you get kicked out of your house?"
    "No. I thought I did because my mom was like, she's yours now Sean! But no, I didn't get kicked out. I'm just free to do what I want now."
    "Don't forget your mom."
    "Never! I love my mommy. I still plan to see often and I'll call her everyday like I always do."
    "When we pack your things this weekend, you should bring everything here."
    "Are you asking me to move in with you?"
    "Yes. I already talked to my mom about it. About what your mom said to me. She's okay with it. You pretty much live here already. Why not make it official and bring your things here? We can bring all the stuff downstairs up here and move everything here in my room downstairs. That storage room is bigger than my room and we spend most of our time down there anyway. Up to you."
    "If you want me to move in with you I will. So! It's up to you."
    "Move in with me."
    "Okay. But I don't wanna live downstairs. I like your room, it has windows. Can we just put my things I don't really need downstairs? Or maybe into storage?"
    "Whatever you want."
    "Did you really enjoy dinner or were you just being nice?"
    "That shit was good. I had like three plates. I never eat that much."
    "You had five plates."
    "I like food."
    "How do I look?"
    "Bend over."
    "Mmm... I like it."
    "Let's go. I don't wanna miss the race."
    "Oh! Look at these."
    "Those are the keys to Rye's car."
    "Let me drive!"
    "On the way back."


    I'm not fond of these mystery races. I like knowin' who I'm gonna race. I know someone knows somethin' and no one will tell me shit. Liz and Sean pulled up in his sister's car and Dev said maybe that's the car you're racin'. I fuckin' hope not. I know about that car! I know what that noise means when you change gears. No thank you! It's a fuckin' sausage fest right now. All the girls are dancin' gettin' all grindy with each other. Fuck it! Let's get high.
    "Why do the girls have to torment us like this? Look at em dude."
    "Girls are the devil."
    "The pee pee is movin'."
    "Take Emily in the back room and handle it."
    "I wanna take em all in the back room."
    "I will fuck you up man."
    "Fine. Minus Melissa."
    "Sean might fuck you up."
    "Fuck him."
    "I can hear you."
    "I saw your girlfriend naked Sean."
    "I saw yours naked."
    "I saw your girlfriend naked too Jacob."
    "How fuckin' high are you right now man?"
    "Oh! I'm fucked up."
    "Explains why you're actin' fuckin' dumb right now."
    "I'm hungry."
    "Go get somethin' to eat and a Red Bull. Sober your ass up."
    "That's a good idea. I don't want my ass kicked tonight. Nachos!"
    "You hittin' this Sean?"
    "Yeah. Why not."
    "What's up with you and Liz gettin' married?"
    "Quiet down a little bit about that. Cole and Blaine."
    "My bad. So what's up?"
    "I'm taking her to Russia and we're getting married."
    "So she can dance there? Or real? Rye said dance, Melissa said real."
    "Real. But there's other factors too."
    "Like what?"
    "She needs to have surgery. Her insurance doesn't cover it. My insurance in Russia does, and she'll be added to it automatically when we get married."
    "What's wrong with her?"
    "Ruptured muscle in her leg that needs to be repaired."
    "Like a pulled muscle?"
    "No. She fucked her leg up so bad that the muscle and tendons pulled off the bone."
    "Aw! Fuck all that."
    "Yeah. It's pretty bad. She keeps tearing that muscle and eventually it won't even be able to be fixed. I don’t want her to have to worry about it anymore."
    "Melissa was right about you guys."
    "You connected fuckin' fast."
    "I know. It scared me. Scared her too."
    "Scared to lose her?"
    "Yes. The first day Liz got here, and I saw her, she was that girl I was scared of. I didn't have the balls to talk to her. Then we got to know each other and turns out I liked her more than I thought."
    "Funny. Melissa was that girl for me."
    "For a minute, you were the only one she had. Besides me and Em."
    "Yeah. I talked to her about that day in the bathroom. The shit you said… She told me everything. I had no idea you guys were that close."
    "Yeah… What made you talk to her?"
    "She fell walkin' down the stairs at school. I was comin' out of Jim's office and I seen her fall. All fear of her went away, and I walked over and picked her up off the floor and walked her out to her car. After that I wasn't scared of her. Every day I'd ask her how she was doin' and shit. I'd try to get to the cafeteria before her every day to buy her lunch. She'd be all fuckin' wigged out thinkin' who the fuck paid for her lunch and shit. I took care of her when I didn't have to, and I did it because I wanted to."
    "Liz was right... You're a softy."
    "Fuck you man."
    "I'm still trying to figure out why Mills smells so damn good."
    "I think it's her shampoo. She never sprays that girl shit on herself. She don't even own shit like that."
    "As long as I've known her she's always smelled good. Hayden too. I don't think it's shampoo."
    "No fuckin' clue then. Just one of the many mysteries about girls."
    "I guess so."
    "So… Liz is fuckin' flexible."
    "Yes she is."
    "I bet she's a fuckin' monster in bed."
    "She's defiantly not a dead fish. That's all I'm saying."
    "It's very nice."
    "Any idea about this mystery race?"
    "Dev said it's you because you have your sister's car."
    "She would kill me if I raced her car."
    "I wanna drive it."
    "Ask her. She might let you."
    "Is it weird drivin' on the right side?"
    "Not for me."
    "Drive on that side in Russia?"
    "You guys talking about me?"
    "Hit this blunt Liz!"
    "I will. Give me. Where's my boyfriend?"
    "He went to get food. Probably passed out at the bar with Hayden."
    "No! He's sitting up eating what looks like... Nachos."
    "He was talkin' shit to me and Sean and I told him to go sober up."
    "What was he saying?"
    "I saw your girlfriend naked to both of us. Then Sean was all, and I saw yours naked."
    "You ready to race Jacob?"
    "No. I don't like not knowin' who I'm... Not racin'. Did that come out right? It sounded fucked up to me."
    "We understood you Babe."
    "It's me Jacob! In Rye's car."
    "Fuckin' liar."
    "Let me touch your legs."
    "You have before."
    "No! I grabbed one. I didn't touch it. Make sense?"
    "Ask Sean. They belong to him."
    "Let me touch Liz's legs."
    "Touch them. I don't care."
    "Hey! Hands to yourself!"
    "The fuck?!"
    "Just kidding! Here have both for a minute."
    "Damn it. Okay! I'm good now. The fuck off me."
    "Asshole! Fuck him up Sean."
    "No. You hit him."
    "Don't! I'm sorry!"
    "Wow Babe!"
    "She hits fuckin' hard!"
    "She can't hit that hard. Look how fuckin' skinny she is. Hit me in the arm Liz. As hard as you can."
    "Okay. Ready?"
    "Yeah... Whoa! Oh my god! Ah! I needed more weed in me for that shit! Naw! Fuck you Liz, let me hit you back."
    "Spank me instead. As hard as you can."
    "Aw! Bend over bitch."
    "Woo! That hurt a little bit Emily. Leave a hand print?"
    "It did. I left my mark on yo woman Sean. Nice and red and popping out a little bit. Let's rub it now."
    "That's fuckin' hot!"
    "I agree."
    "Let me have her Sean."
    "Did you see the video of these two Sean?"
    "I might have it saved in my phone."
    "Send it to me. Dev wouldn't."
    "Really Babe?"
    "I liked it."
    "Can he please send it to me?"
    "Send it to me Sean."
    "I will if Liz and Em say it's okay."
    "I don't care."
    "You want a video of me Jacob? I'm your cousin!"
    "Not yet you're fuckin' not!"
    "Say please!"
    "Can your boyfriend please send me the video?"
    "Send the video to Puppet Boy."
    "Fuck you."
    "Don't send it."
    "You should have known better Babe."
    "Right! Damn it."
    "Say sorry and I'll let him send it."
    "I'm sorry."
    "Send it to Puppet Boy... Wait!"
    "I know better!"
    "Thank you!"


    Boss is good to go. I drove it, Ode drove it, and Rye drove the shit out of it. God damn that woman.
    "Remember Jacob is gonna be on the left so come in on the right."
    "Okay. I can bump the stereo loud, yeah?"
    "$4,000 system in this fuckin' thing. Listen to it as loud as you want."
    "Walkie. Channel three."
    "Channel three. Are you sure you don't want me to drive closer so you don't have to walk as far?"
    "Naw, I'm good. Keep the walkie on and I'll chat at you when I get to the door. Make sure we got a good connection and shit."
    "Sit tight. It'll be about fifteen minutes tops. Somethin' happens you call me."
    "I'll be fine Scott. Now kiss and go."
    "I don't want Blondie's bomb ass dinner to kill you if I kiss you."
    "We ate hours ago. It won't kill me."
    "All right."
    "Oh no! I tasted the mushrooms!"
    "Fuckin' with me right?"
    "Yes. Now go."
    "Fuckin' Russian."
    "You love me."
    "Yes I do."

    I really don't have to worry about that woman. She's pretty mean if you piss her off real good. I've seen her in a few fights. She fucks shit up. Not as bad as Blondie does, but damn. Same with Sean. He's mean too if you piss him off real good. Must be a Russian thing. Fuck this, I forgot how shitty it is walkin' up this dirt road. I must be gettin' fuckin' old. Twenty four is considered old. Right?
    "You hear me Baby Girl?"
    "All clear? No static or nothin'?"
    "Loud and clear."
    "All right. I'm goin' in to let Ode know we're here."
    "Hurry up!"
    "Fuckin' lucky you're a woman and I love you."
    "Mmm hmm."

    Julius didn't say a fuckin' word to me as I walked down. Saw me, looked at the floor, and just stepped aside. Blondie and Emily are gettin' very cozy. Damn it! Dev don't seem to like it. Sean doesn't seem to care. Ode has Hayd behind the bar. Beer please!
    "Rye ready to show Jacob what's up?"
    "Yeah. Give me a beer. I forget how shitty that dirt road is."
    "Aw! Poor Scotty."
    "Fuck you. I need to go let Ode know we're here."
    "Okay Scotty."
    "If I hit girls, I'd smack your ass up right now."
    "I'm sure you would Scotty."
    "Fuckin' lucky Hayd."
    "You love me!"
    "This is true! Thank you for the beer."
    "No problem Scotty."
    "Do somethin' about that wife of yours Ode."
    "Why? What she do?"
    "Scotty this, Scotty that."
    "What's wrong Scotty? Don't like it?"
    "Come on!"
    "Rye in place and ready to show Jacob how to make a car his bitch?"
    "Yeah. She's watin' on us."
    "She beats Jacob, my happy ass will be skippin' to the bank."
    "Right! You know damn well all that money goes right on Jacob."
    "Let's get this shit rollin'... Sorry ladies for cuttin' your dance short... But it's race time! Jacob Sullivan! 1970 Boss 429 Mustang! And! Mystery Challenger. Oh yes! You guys will know nothing! About the challenger. You guys still want in on this action? If so please pay my gorgeous wife behind the bar. Thirty minutes! Up top!"
    "Oden! Can I start this race?"
    "Not tonight Blondie. Next time."
    "You suck!"
    "Mmm! That girl!"
    "Yeah. See her and Emily? God damn!"
    "I watching the whole time. They had their hands in each other shorts at one point and then licked their fingers."
    "Uh huh!"
    "She cooked dinner for everyone tonight... It was so god damn good Ode."
    "Blondie can cook too?"
    "Best fuckin' dinner I had my whole life."
    "Sean is fuckin' winnin'!"
    "Fuck yeah he is! I'll be top side."
    "I need to chat with Hayd and I'll be up."
    "All right."


    Jacob is pissed. He don't like not knowin' who he's racin'. He don't give that 429 all she gots Rye is gonna whoop his ass. No fuckin' joke.

    "How did you do over here Gorgeous?"
    "I haven't done books since high school, and I don't think I wrote this down right."
    "No. You needed to write everything in the first two columns. Last one is what I owe people, or what they owe me. You also wrote in pencil. We'll fix it later and ink it."
    "I used a pencil because I knew I might do it wrong. Give me credit for that."
    "You did it right. Just in the wrong spot is all."
    "A lot of money."
    "Yeah. Always a lot of money when Jacob races."
    "So you get this much if Jacob wins?"
    "Yep. And this much if he loses."
    "Yeah! I hope Rye fuckin' kills him tonight."
    "Might hurt his ego losing to a girl."
    "In his own fuckin' car!"
    "Oh! This is going to be good."
    "Fuckin' aye! Let's go woman."

    Out of eighty bets, we got six on Rye. Oh this is going to be some good shit tonight. Blondie is on my rock. Why is Blondie on my rock?!
    "Why are you on my rock?"
    "Do something!"
    "...Are you guys ready for a race?!"
    "Thought so!"
    "Hayd wants the view tonight. Sorry Blondie."
    "Sad face Oden!"
    "Scott! Come here!"
    "What's up?"
    "Put Blondie on your shoulders. She wants a good view."
    "All right... Upsie Daisie!"
    "Wee! Thank you!"
    "Oooo! God damn these legs! Ooo Wee!"
    "Right Scott!"
    "Ah god damn! I'm a happy man right now!"
    "Fuck you Blondie."
    "I'm gonna tease you."
    "Like this with my legs."
    "Ah! No, no dick. Stay down."
    "Fuckin' Blondie! Call Rye and let her know Jacob is warmin' them tires."
    "Baby Girl?"
    "Jacob is warmin' the tires. Get that motor goin'."
    "I'm coming in the same way as today yeah?"
    "Yes ma'am."
    "And he will know to go when I flash my highs?"
    "Yeah. Flash em three times and then go."
    "Okay. Let me know when."
    "Gimme! Hi Rye! Your boyfriend is rubbing and squeezing my legs."
    "Are they nice Scott? I only grabbed her butt."
    "These legs got my dick hard. I'm happy right now."
    "I'm on his shoulders!"
    "That's why he's so happy."
    "All right. Give that back. Get ready Rye."
    "I have been ready!"
    "She's ready Ode."
    "Me too! Pick me up Handsome."
    "Hi Hayden!"
    "Scott is happy."
    "I would be too if I had those killer legs around my neck."
    "All right! Let's all shut the fuck up and listen to Blondie! Repeat after me."
    "Yay! Thank you!"
    "Different rules tonight."
    "All right! We got different rules tonight, so listen up!"
    "Five laps."
    "Five laps! Instead of the normal three."
    "Old rules still stand and are simple."
    "Old rules are still in play and they are fucking simple!"
    "No pushing."
    "NO! Pushing the other driver!"
    "No bumping."
    "NO! Bumping the other driver!"
    "No breaking in front."
    "NO! Breaking in front of the other driver!"
    "And keep it clean."
    "Keep the race clean! Don't be a douche and the bag in fucking came in! Jacob! Gimme a couple taps on them highs to let me know you're ready. Mmm! That's right!"
    "Get it Rye!"
    "God damn Blondie. My girl!"
    "Room for two more! Move!"
    "Hurry Devin!"
    "Get on!"
    "Hi Melissa!"
    "Hi Liz!
    "You can hear the fuckin' stereo a mile away."
    "Kid has to know by now!"


    Five laps? What the fuck is this shit?

    "Jacob! Gimme a couple taps on them highs to let me know you're ready. Mmm! That's right!"
    "God damn Liz is hot... That's my stereo! The Boss?! No fuckin' way it's the Boss. Scott said a month. It's only been..."
    Out of fuckin' nowhere! The Boss straight drifts passed me and stops facing me head on. High flash three times and the Boss takes off.
    "Oh! Fuck no!"


    "Come on Jacob!"
    "Holy shit! Sean! Rye can fucking drive!"
    "I know!"
    "I can't see shit! Pick me up Sean."
    "Hi Emily!"
    "Hi Liz!"
    "Oh my god! Rye still has it Ode!"
    "Fuck yeah! Damn Scott."
    "She loves to hug them corners."
    "She's drifting each one like nothing! Teach to me drive like that Oden."
    "Talk to the man on your ass Blondie."
    "Teach me Scott."
    "Fuckin' Jacob needs to make the 429 his bitch. Come on dude!"
    "It don't matter Dev. Rye can fuckin' drive. I feel my pockets gettin' heavier each lap."
    "My Babe is losing to a girl!"
    "I hope he cries like one."
    "That's mean Liz! He probably will."


    "Come on Jacob! Don't lose to a girl in your own car! Scott?!"
    "He's not making that 429 his bitch!"
    "He's scared of her! One more lap Baby Girl. You got this shit."



    "Nooo! Who the fuck is drivin' my fuckin' car!? Fuuuuuuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuckin' kiddin' me!"

    Fuckin' pissed! I lost! I fuckin' lost to someone drivin' my baby!
    "What happen Jacob?"
    "Aw! Fuck you Ode."
    "Got your ass whooped by your own car?"
    "Who... The fuck… Was driving! My car!?"
    "I was."
    "Poopy diaper face! Look Tortillo Boy!"
    "That's fuckin' funny!"
    "I fuckin' lost!... To a fuckin' girl!... In my own damn car! Are you fuckin' kiddin' me!?"
    "The Boss is still undefeated!"
    "This is true! But I lost to a fuckin' girl Ode!"
    "Stop crying. Here's your keys."
    "You can fuckin' drive Rye. Take my hand. Take it. I just got my ass handed to me by this fuckin' woman right here! God damn!"
    "Now hug you big ass kid."
    "I got my orange bitch back! Fuckin' aye!"
    "Give me my keys kid! Get your shit out of my car!"
    "Whatever money you owe me Oden, give it to Jacob."
    "You sure?"
    "Yes. It was his car that won. Not mine."
    "All right."
    "Naw! Fair is fair Rye. That's your money."
    "I don't want it. Your car won. Not mine. Take the money."
    "All right. My baby!"
    "She's good as new kid."
    "Fuckin' aye! Thanks man."
    "No problem."
    "The Boss is back!"
    "Fuckin' right!"
    "You owe me a ride Jacob!"
    "For what?"
    "I said yes when I could've said no!"


    That was insane! Oh my effing god! Rye can fucking drive! I get a ride in Jacob's car too! Awesome!
    "I love your sister."
    "Now do you see why she drives a fast car?"
    "I still hate the fuckin' Mustang."
    "Cole lost a race and ever since then he's hated Jacob's car."
    "Don't be a sore loser Cole. Racing is fun! Boop!"
    "Why did I like that?"
    "Hailey! Boop your boyfriend’s nose. He likes it."
    "Lets see... Boop!"
    "I like it when Lee Lee does it too."
    "What have you done Liz?!"
    "Yeah. Eh! Boop!"
    "I still like it."
    "Lee Lee!"
    "You never told me what happened this morning."
    "She did it."
    "Fuckin' whore."
    "What? Include me!"
    "Heather asked Hailey for a ride to the gutter house."
    "Abortion Clinic."
    "She is no longer with baby."
    "Fucking bitch! Seriously?"
    "Yeah! I had to sign a piece of paper saying I was her driver. The doctor came out and talked to me and everything. It's done."
    "There's so many women in this world who can't get pregnant and who love to have a baby and then you got dumb ass bitches like her taking that chance away. Pisses me off to no end."
    "Piper know yet?"
    "Oh yeah! I texted her the second that doctor left."
    "What she have to say?"
    "Fucking whore. That's about it."
    "And Blaine?"
    "He can care less about the whole thing. All right! Gossip time! Flinch and the purple haired cutie. What's up?"
    "Her name is Regan. She's Mr. Avalon's daughter."
    "No shit?"
    "And a virgin."
    "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Flinch is planning to tag himself a virgin?"
    "Cole... Shut your cake hole."
    "Okay! Enough. James really likes this girl, and she likes him. And Cole, don't fuck this up for him by going around saying he's planning to tag a virgin."
    "You look like you wanna fuck me up right now Sean."
    "I will if you fuck this up for James."
    "Flinch and my cousin broke up over a year ago. He's a great fuckin' guy and Becca took advantage of him. He deserves to be with someone nice. Regan seems like a sweet girl. So yeah! Please do not fuck this up Cole."
    "Regan told me Flinch doesn't wanna have sex with her. Not anytime soon anyway. She said he told her that he will wait until she's ready."
    "That's how he was with Becca! He never tried anything with her till she said she wanted to. He's not with Regan to tag a virgin. That's not Flinch at all."
    "All of us standing here besides Liz have known Flinch forever. He is a great fucking guy. I only asked because this actually makes me happy. I was happy when he dumped your dumb ass cousin."
    "He's still gonna tag a virgin!"
    "Yes Cole! He is, but don't go around telling people he's planning to. Please."
    "Listen to Lee Lee Cole. Don't fuck this up for him."
    "Okay! My mouth is closed. Not a word. I promise."
    "I will fuck you up like I did Kim if you do."
    "Yeah! My lips are defiantly closed!"
    "Yo man is scared of Liz."
    "Yes Devin?"
    "Sex me! Let's go!"
    "Girlfriend duty calls. I'll see you guys later."
    "Bye Emily."
    "Bye Liz."
    "Me and AssCole are taking off too."
    "Yeah! Us too. Night. Don't make me fuck you up Cole!"
    "Yeah! No shit!"
    "Ready to go home... My Love?"
    "Yes. Let's go home."


    I hate new pullout beds. They smell weird and they are hard and super uncomfortable! I rather sleep on the floor. My phone!
    "You still up?"
    "Yeah. This bed sucks."
    "I need to talk to you. Can you call me?"
    "Yeah. Give me a minute."

    Step outside to call. Don't need to wake up my dad.

    "What's up?"
    "I just got off the phone with Sean. I need to tell you something."
    "Something bad?"
    "In a way, yes."
    "Liz and Emily were talking to their friend Hailey. I don't know if you met her or not."
    "Girl with the shaved head, she's a cheerleader."
    "Okay! I saw her at school."
    "She was asking Liz and Emily about us. They told her what's going on with us. Which its fine, because people will notice us at school and know we're a couple. But Hailey's boyfriend Cole..."
    "I met Cole. I have math with him and Liz."
    "All right. Well, he busted out with, Flinch is planning to tag himself a virgin."
    "What does that mean?"
    "It's means I'm only with you to fuck you and dump you."
    "Oh. I... I don't know how to respond to that."
    "That's why I had you call me Reg. That's not me. I am not a tag a virgin guy. I'm with you because I like you and I want to be with you. You being a virgin is the last fucking thing on my mind. Everything I said still stands. I will not ask you to do anything or pressure you to do anything. When you're ready for anything you tell me. I'm going at your pace in this relationship. You're the boss. Not me. I had to tell you what’s going on right now because shit at school spreads so fucking fast, I don't want you to think I lied to you."
    "Everything I have heard about you all day has been nothing but really good things. I believe you. I really like you. Who cares what other people say. I know what kind of person you are."
    "I just wanted to let you know what's going on is all."
    "You are going to tag a virgin eventually."
    "No I'm not."
    "I will not have sex with you and then dump you."
    "You know what I mean."
    "I know. I'm not with you to fuck you. I really do like you. A lot actually."
    "I call the shots?"
    "Come give me a goodnight kiss."
    "Can you meet at the street? My car is kind of loud."
    "I'm to lazy right now."
    "Fine. I'll walk to the street and meet you."

    As soon as the pull the phone away from my face, the porch light flips on. Crap!
    "What are doing Regan?"
    "I was on the phone with Flinch. I asked him to come and give me a goodnight kiss. He wants me to walk to the street so his car doesn't wake everyone up."
    "Bedroom window upstairs is always open."
    "Oh. I was going to sneak out and meet him at the street. Sorry I woke you."
    "I was awake."
    "Bye bye purple hair?"
    "No. Thank you for being honest with me. Go. Hurry up."
    "Thanks dad."

    Freedom points!

    "I been out here an hour."
    "No you have not. Kiss now."
    "I thought you'd be out here when I pulled up."
    "Dad caught me."
    "And he still let you come out here?"
    "Yeah. I told him I wanted a goodnight kiss, and you wanted me to walk to the street so your car didn't walk everyone up."
    "Dad rule for freedom points. Be honest and I get do to what I want. Kind of."
    "You look really good without makeup on."
    "Do I really?"
    "Yeah. Very pretty."
    "You think your dad is watching us from upstairs?"
    "Probably. Should we wave?"
    "Did you hear Liz and Sean at the store today?"
    "Yeah. I was laughing my ass off when Sean was all, no! I know better. It was funny."
    "He put her on blast too."
    "Summer's Eve flavored douche."
    "Yeah. What is douche?"
    "Pussy cleaner."
    "It's pussy cleaner. It's like a bottle full of water that you stick up there."
    "Okay! I still can't believe she did that though. I was embarrassed for him."
    "She does that a lot. To everyone too! So be prepared for that."
    "She did it to me already. Did you hear her yell, bye big box of tampons?"
    "Yeah! That was because I had a big box of tampons. Everyone kind of looked at us. I like Liz. She's fun."
    "Yeah. Liz is fucking cool. Uh oh."
    "Text from my dad. I have to go."
    "Okay. One more kiss."
    "I'll see you tomorrow."
    "Text me when you get up and around."
    "I will. Goodnight James."
    "Goodnight Regan."

    Second little heartbreak! Man!

    "Goodnight Regan."
    "I really like it here. I really like everyone I've met. I really really like Flinch… James. Can I please stay here with you even after the school year? Please?"
    "You are Regan."
    "I am? I thought I was going back to Grandma."
    "The papers you and Grandma filed for guardianship."
    "Here, read it. Carefully!"
    "Guardianship granted to Olivia BeauSoleil-Avalon and Michael Elwin Ava... Avalon II. Grandma is sneaky!"
    "Grandma is smart. And sneaky. I had to read it twice too."
    "But this only for guardianship."
    "For now. Grandma is having her lawyers file custody papers."
    "For you?"
    "For me."
    "Good thing about it is, you're old enough to stand in front of a judge and tell him or her who you rather be with."
    "I wanna be here with you."
    "Go to bed."
    "I love you dad."
    "I love you too. Now bed."
    "Night dad."


    Such a great day, great night. I got to see Jacob's poopy diaper face again. Still funny! Last! Amazing sex with my amazing man.
    "I can't get enough of you."
    "What time do we have to leave tomorrow?"
    "We have to be there before 1:00."
    "The little girl is Cora right?"
    "Mmm hmm."
    "I love you."
    "I love you too."
    "I want babies."
    "We'll have babies. Let us get though college and shit first and settled in a house before all of that."
    "Deal. Your heart is making me sleepy."
    "Then close your eyes and go to sleep."
    "Boop. My bad."
    "Yes. That was my eye. Thank you."
    "One more time."
    "Here... My nose is right here."
    "Спокойной Ночи Beanstalk."
    "Night my Love."

    His heartbeat. Calm and steady. Now sleep.