Chapter Twenty - A Bad Day

Wednesday, June 17


    "I'm still upset mom couldn't come tonight."
    "She really wanted to."
    "I know."
    "I'm so proud of you Lizzy! You did it again. You got first place in this year dance competition."
    "I can't wait to get home and tell mom."
    "She's going to be so happy. You and David worked so hard."
    "I know! It was so painful. Work, work, and more work! But look at my big awesome trophy!"
    "I see it! It's going right up on the mantle with the oth..."
    "Dad! Watch out!"
    "Dad? Are you all right? Hey! Help us! Don't drove off! Hey dad! Come on wake up, we have to get out of here. Dad? DAD!"

    Same as always, I end up on the floor.

    "Breathe Liz, just breathe."
    "I need to go help my dad!"
    "Shhh. Just listen. Breathe. I got you."
    "I need to go... Help him... Dad?"
    "Shhh... It's okay."

    Sean's heart isn't racing at all. He's completely calm. He was right. Heartbeat Beanstalk. You'll be fine. I'm calm now. I can breathe.
    "What time is it?"
    "Almost six."
    "Don't move yet Sean. Just hold me a little longer please."
    "I'm sorry."
    "For what?"
    "This. I didn't want you to have to see this happen."
    "I would've seen it eventually."
    "It way too early in our relationship for you to see me like this Sean."
    "It doesn't bother me. You told me this would happen, and I told you I'd be here and you'd be fine."
    "You're not freaked out?"
    "I didn't scare you?"
    "Was I talking in my sleep?"
    "Yes. I thought you were talking to me trying to wake me up. Then I realized you weren't."
    "Why didn't you wake me up?"
    "I did. You woke up and landed here on the floor."
    "What was I saying?"
    "You couldn't wait to get home and wake up dad. That's all I could make out."
    "Are you okay now?"
    "Yes. Thank you for not freaking out."
    "I told you I wouldn't. Come on, let's get go back to bed and get more sleep."

    I can't fall back to sleep right now. What do I do? Lay here and watch Sean sleep? Go look at the waves? I don't wanna walk around Sean's house alone. I might get lost. I do need to pee, and I'm thirsty.
    "I have to pee."
    "You know where the bathroom is."
    "I'm thirsty too."
    "Go pee and I'll go get you something to drink."
    "Thanks. Just water please."
    "All right."
    "Your mom's door is open."
    "Yeah. She gets up about six every morning to go to work."
    "I hope she didn't hear me yell."
    "I doubt it. She would of came in to see what was wrong."
    "Oh. Pee now."


    I lied. I was a little bit freaked out. The way she fell out of bed, it was a way you only see in movies. Like a ghost movie. Like something grabbed her and threw her to the floor. I didn't like it. But I am glad I saw it, now I know exactly what to expect if it happens again. I think I handled it well. I got her calm quickly and back into bed. That's good.
    "Everything okay Ivan? I heard Liz yelling at you."
    "Everything is fine. She wasn't yelling at me. She sometimes has these nightmares about her dad that are really intense. Like she's there, you know? She warned me about them, but I didn't expect all of that. It scared me a little bit."
    "Maybe she should go see a therapist. That might help her."
    "She does see one. I don't think it's really helping. She still has them."
    "What kind of nightmares about her father is she having?"
    "The night he died. They were hit by a drunk driver and Liz saw everything happen."
    "Is she depressed at all?"
    "She doesn't seem like she is. Why?"
    "Her nightmares could be PTSD Ivan. Makes sense."
    "She doesn't have any signs of that though. Just nightmares."
    "Seeing death alone can cause it Ivan. Think of all the soldiers who have it. How much death they've seen. It stays with you. Think of your uncle."
    "The police never caught the person who hit them. I think that might be the cause of this. She hasn't really got closure on it."
    "It could very well be that too. I'm obviously not a therapist, but I do know a little about the whole PTSD thing. I had to help your father understand what his brother was going though. He would wake up with sweat pouring off his body because he kept reliving the war in this sleep. Just like Liz is. She could very well have it and not even know. If her therapist hasn't figured it out yet, then she or he isn't very good at their job."
    "I wish I could help her. I just don't know how."
    "You can't. All you can do is be there for her when she needs you in times like this."
    "Yeah. I don't like seeing her hurt, in any kind of way. The look on her face when she realized she was dreaming. I didn't like it at all mom."
    "Just be there for her when she needs you Ivan."
    "Mmm. How much did it cost dad to get that tear in his chest repaired?"
    "It was also his rotator cuff. The whole surgery was around $650,000. Why?"
    "Liz has this torn muscle in her calf that she never really took care of and it tears all the time she said. It's like five inches long and real deep. I told her she needs to take care of it, but her insurance doesn't cover it."
    "You want to pay for her to get it repaired?"
    "Yes. I rather her not have to worry about it."
    "Do you have that amount of money?"
    "No. You know any insurance that would cover it?"
    "The insurance I have you on does."
    "How much does it cost each month?"
    "Close to $2,000. But, that's with you, me, and Raisa. By herself it will about $670."
    "It covers birth control and the contacts you use?"
    "Yes and yes. Why are you asking about those?"
    "Liz is on birth control and she has the same contacts you use. If I can get her on the same insurance I have I want to be sure everything she has now will still be covered."
    "Take her Russia and marry her. She'll automatically be added to your insurance there and all that is covered too."
    "I am not going to marry her."
    "Why not? Giving her second residency will make it easier for both of you if you two decide to do any dance competitions in Russia."
    "We only been dating for three days mom. No!"
    "Just an idea Ivan. Think about it. I have to get going."

    My mom made a really good point. Marrying Liz in Russia. It would be easier and less expensive for her to travel back and forth with me. I just can't do it. Not yet anyway.
    "You... Are naked."
    "Let me ride you Sean."
    "Say my last name and I'll let you ride me."
    "Lib… Eh... Je... Ski."
    "Ah! Got it down huh?"
    "Come here now!"
    "Are you about to take total control over me?"
    "No talking. Just come here."
    "Shhh! No touching either!"

    I think I might like what's about to happen. I already like how she got on her knees and pulled my pants down with her. Love the porn star mouth she has. I want to grab her by the hair and pull her into me more, but I'm following orders. She did let me do what I wanted to her, so I'll let her do whatever she wants to me.
    "Lay down now."

    It's hard not touching her. I want to! Everywhere. I brush her leg with one finger, she slaps it away. Any little noise out of my mouth, she covered it with her hand. I like it and I don't. But right now, I'm to the point where I can't take it anymore. I need to touch her. Her head is back and she's enjoying herself. She won't even see what about to do. Rub her right here and see if she slaps me away. She doesn't.
    "Oh my god."
    "You like that?"
    "Why did you stop?"
    "It's your turn now."
    "Can I do what I want?"
    "If I hurt you, you tell me to stop."

    She said she wanted to try anal. So, lets do anal. First just one finger. See if she's okay with that. She can. Now two, and thumb in here.
    "No. I like it."

    Switch holes, finger her while I go in back. Something Em told me. Anal feels better if you're getting fingered at the same time. Well, it worked for Em. Maybe it will for Liz as well.
    "Oh fuck, fuck, fuck!"
    "If it hurts tell me Liz."
    "No, it's just weird. I don't think I like it... Oh! Okay! Don't stop."

    The finger trick works! That's good, because I do enjoy anal.

    "Don't cum in my butt."
    "Where do you want me to do it?"
    "In my jay. When you get ready to cum just switch holes."

    I wasn't even near ready when I felt her begin to get a little bit tight around my fingers. I switch, too hard.
    "Ow Sean!"
    "I'm sorry."
    "Not so hard. Keep going."
    "Where are you going?"
    "Shower. I'm sorry."
    "Please come back. Talk to me, don't walk away. Tell me what I did so I can fix it."
    "It's not you. I don't ever want to hurt you in any kind of way. It makes me feel like shit. I didn't like what just happen."
    "I'm fine Sean."
    "No you weren't. When I did that, you pulled yourself onto the bed to get me out of you. I hurt you that much, that you didn't even want me inside you."
    "I'm sorry."
    "No, please don't cry. Come here."
    "I didn't mean to make you feel like shit Sean. It was just a reaction, not me not wanting you inside me. I didn't even realize I did that. I fucking love you, everything about you and I always want you inside me. I can't get enough of you. Yes, it hurt. But I'm fine. Please don't feel like shit because it'll make me feel like shit and I don't wanna have a bad day."
    "I can't handle it. Seeing myself hurt you like that. If it was any other girl I wouldn't care so much. It's scares me."
    "What scares you?"
    "You leaving me over something as stupid as this."
    "Sean... Listen, you accidently hurting me for a second with your dick will never ever make me leave you. So, get that shit out of your head forever."
    "Okay. I still feel like shit."
    Out of nowhere! Liz bitch slaps me across my face. Really hard too.

    "What the fuck was that?"
    "Did it hurt?"
    "Good! Now we're even. Now shut your fucking mouth and eat this jay right now."
    "I... Um... Okay."

    Now! I feel better. Liz got hers, I got mine. Shower fun was good too. Always is. It's going to be a really good day.
    "Feel better now Love?"
    "Yes. Give me a kiss."
    "Can we talk?"
    "Stop trying so hard to keep me."
    "What? You think I'm trying hard to keep you?"
    "A little bit because you're trying hard not to hurt me."
    "I'm just letting our relationship do it's thing. I'm not trying to force or stop anything. But yes, I do not want to hurt you."
    "The only way you'll ever hurt me is if you cheat on me or leave me. Will you do that?"
    "That's it?"
    "I've never had a girl tell me I was trying to hard because I was trying to spare their feelings. I don't like that."
    "Devin tried too hard, and it actually hurt us."
    "I'm not Devin. I know exactly where I stand in this relationship Liz. I don't feel like I need to try hard to keep you. I know sometimes the harder you fight the more the other person will push away. Exactly like you and Devin. I have you already. I don't need to fight to keep you. Why?"
    "Because you trust me."
    "Mmm Hmm. The only thing I am doing is making sure you don't get hurt. In any kind of way. That's why I told you if anything with us ever became an issue to just tell me."
    "So we can fix it."
    "I love you."
    "I love you too. Still think I'm trying to hard?"
    "No. I understand where you're coming from now. Boop! What if Cole said something mean to me and it hurt my feelings?"
    "He'd get his ass kicked."
    "My protector!"
    "If you don't like that, you know I won't do it."
    "Shut up."
    "Can I talk to you about something?"
    "Your sexuality?"
    "No. I think we're pretty clear on that."
    "Your dildoes?"
    "Yes Liz. I want to talk to you about those."
    "I love giving you a hard time."
    "I know."
    "What's up?"
    "I was talking to my mom when I got you a water. She heard you yell for your dad."
    "She thought me and you were fighting. I told her what was going on. Is that okay?"
    "Does she think I'm crazy?"
    "No. She said seeing death stays with people. She understands."
    "My dad had his rotator cuff and a tear in his chest repaired a few years ago..."
    "Yeah. I told my mom about your leg and how your insurance doesn't cover it. She told me my dad's surgery was about $650,000."
    "Holy crap! And you want to pay for me to get my leg fixed?"
    "I don't have that much money. My mom would give it to me, but she knows I won't ask her for it. So she said to have you switch to the insurance I'm on. It'll cover the surgery, your birth control, and your contacts."
    "I'm on my mom's insurance through her work. I don't know if I can change it."
    "My mom said to marry you."
    "Uh... No! No, no! We been together like three days, why would she even say that?"
    "Two reasons."
    "One, you'd get second residency. Two, you'd automatically be added to my insurance."
    "Second residency? A Russian marriage."
    "Yes. She's thinking too far ahead. She said it would be easier to travel back and forth if we decide to do any kind of competition in Russia."
    "Russia does have competitions I'm interested in. Big ones!"
    "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Are you considering this?"
    "A little bit."
    "I am not marrying you Liz."
    "No, I will marry you. But not for this. When I marry you I want it to be for the right reason. I'd rather pay for you to go back and forth if you want to do a competition there."
    "The insurance?"
    "My mom pays about $2,000 every month for me, her, and Rye. So for just you it'll be about..."
    "$666 and some change."
    "How do you do that?"
    "Math genius."
    "59,715 divided by 8."
    "7,464 with a remainder of 3."
    "You don't even have to think about it."
    "I know."
    "Anyway. Just ideas thrown out there."
    "And getting married is 100% off the table?"
    "For now, yes."
    "We couldn't get married anyway. We're not eighteen."
    "Seventeen in Russia. No!"
    "If you change your mind, I won't say no."
    "Three days is way too soon to even be talking about this."
    "Yeah. But it's actually a great idea."
    "It is. I just can't do it Liz. I love you and if we last I will marry you. Promise."
    "And kids?"
    "I'll give you one."
    "Not two?"
    "No more than three. That's my limit."
    "We only been dating three days Sean! It's way to soon to be talking about marriage and babies! You're crazy."
    "Love you!"
    "I love you too, and all the weirdness and shit that goes along with you."
    "But not my happy dance."
    "I don't like that dance."
    "Aw! Boop!"


    Devin isn't answering my calls or my texts this morning. I eventually gave up on it. He wants to be a dick, fine with me. His car isn't here yet. Odd. If Jacob is here, he usually is too. What's the deal with him today? Maybe Jacob knows.
    "Either one of you see or talk to Devin this morning?"
    "No. Babe?"
    "Call him and see if he answers your call. I been calling him and he's not answering. Just call and be like, where are you?"
    "All right."
    "Okay! Fuck woman."
    "Be nice Babe."
    "I ain't bein'..."
    "Word up girl?"
    "The fuck you at man?"
    "In my car like five minutes away. Why? Melissa ditch you? Are you lonely?"
    "No. She's sittin' right next to me."
    "What's up?"
    "You called for a reason dude."
    "Just wonderin' where you are. School's about to start."
    "My lady there?"
    "Which one?"
    "Is she right there?"
    "Am I on speaker?"
    "Fuckin' liar."
    "You ain't on speaker man!"
    "I been avoiding her all morning."
    "Fuckin' pissed me off last night."
    "Let me guess... Still pissed?"
    "Yeah! Fuckin' tellin' me I was goin' home to be by myself with Liz's panties. Fuckin' shit is that?"
    "Well were you?"
    "No! I went home and straight to bed. I didn't even sniff em."
    "But you wanted to?"
    "That's a lie."
    "No it's not. I didn't even sniff Em's."
    "Give Liz's panties back to her."
    "If she wants em back, I'll give em back."
    "She wants em back."
    "How do you know?"
    "She said she did last night after me and Sean told her you where goin' home to sniff em."
    "Are you fuckin' serious? What the fuck dude?"
    "My bad."
    "I called him."
    "I'm going over there to bug Liz and Sean. Fuck Devin."
    "He'll come around Em. You know that."
    "I know. For now I'm just going to leave him be. Thanks for calling Jacob."

    That asshole was avoiding me! I am glad to know he didn't go home and sniff Liz's panties. I'm leaving him for the day since he's all pissed off about last night. He'll eventually get over it.
    "Can I hang out too?"
    "What's wrong?"
    "Devin. He's pissed off and been avoiding me all morning. I had Jacob call and he answered right away."
    "When Devin was mad at me, he never avoided my calls or anything."
    "He knows I'll go straight bitch on him if he pisses me off. Cute shirt by the way."
    "I'm borrowing it one of these days."
    "If it fits you, you can. I don't care."
    "Sweet! So, Sean. Jacob told Devin you and him said he went home last night to sniff Liz's panties."
    "Why would he tell him that?"
    "I have no idea! Devin was just like, the fuck you do that for?"
    "Did he go home to sniff my panties?"
    "He said he didn't. And Jacob told him you want them back."
    "Did he get mad?"
    "No. Just said if you wanted them back he'd give them back."
    "I do want them back. It's wrong to sniff an ex girlfriends panties when you have a new girlfriend. I don't like it. I don't see how you're not mad or how you don't hate me."
    "You haven't given me a reason to hate you, and it does bother me to think he's sniffing your panties. I don't like it either."
    "Does it bother you that Devin might be sniffing my panties Sean?"
    "Not one bit."
    "Yes. He has two panties that will eventually not smell anymore. I have all the panties I want and the pussy they touch. I'm the winner here, not him."
    "Good point! I love it!"
    "Please take your panties away from my boyfriend Liz."
    "I will. I'll talk to him today. If he says no, you can find them and just toss them. Or give them back. I don't care."
    "Where would they even be?"
    "Hmm… Right nightstand or his top drawer in his dresser under all his socks and stuff. I saw him put weed in those two places."
    "I forgot about the sock drawer weed stash. I'll look if says no."
    "Go get my panties back Sean."
    "Why not?"
    "He'd probably get pissed off and take a swing at him."
    "Yeah. You know what, don't even ask him. Next time I'm at his house I'll look when he's destroying his toilet."
    "Just tell him you don't like him having them. Maybe he'll toss them himself."
    "You don't care if he tosses them?"
    "No. I just don't want him sniffing them."
    "Has he looked this way at all?"
    "I don't know. I been talking to you."
    "No. He has his back toward us."
    "Go talk to him!"
    "No. He's been avoiding me!"
    "Text him."
    "And say what?"
    "Send him a picture of us kissing."
    "Right now that would just piss him off."
    "I don't know then."
    "He'll come around. I just need to leave him alone right now."
    "I'm tired."
    "You and Sean up all night getting freak nasty with each other?"
    "No. I woke up at like six and couldn't go back to sleep."
    "Should've woke Sean up for some morning love."
    "I did."
    "How was Bob last night?"
    "Bob needs new batteries. He made me do all the work."
    "That's funny!"
    "Got off and got a nice work out."
    "Be sure to switch hands every now and then."
    "I do. I need one of those dildoes with a suction on it. Stick it to my floor since I have hardwood and fuck the shit out of it."
    "There you go!"
    "Can you two stop talking about dildoes now?"
    "Wanna talk about yours?"
    "You have a dildoe Sean? What the fuck?"
    "I don't have one!"
    "He has three!"
    "I should've kept my mouth closed."
    "Part of the job being a girlfriend is, busting the boyfriends balls Sean. Liz is doing a great fucking job at it too!"
    "Why do you do that to Sean's nose?"
    "I like his nose."
    "Ah! I see. But you did it to Blaine."
    "It puts Sean in a better mood. Blaine was all pissed off so I booped his nose. It didn't work. Blaine sucks."
    "Blaine thinks you're smokin' hot."
    "Everyone thinks she is. Not just Blaine."
    "Why am I hot?"
    "You're tall, skinny, and have a massive booty Liz."
    "No! Not the bell!"
    "Well, at least you can take a nap in class if you want."
    "Maybe I will. Carry me Sean."
    "Do I have to?"
    "Yes. Piggy back! Please?"
    "Get on."
    "You two are nasty cute together."
    "I know huh!?"
    "You suck dick like a porn star and he fucks like one. Perfect match!"
    "You should see me chow down on some jay. Also like a porn star."
    "Let me have her Sean."
    "No. Go find your own American girl. This one is mine."
    "Fine! Let me borrow her."
    "Come on! You can watch, even join in if you want."
    "I don't do threesomes."
    "Why not? Me and Liz will rock the shit out of your world and you fucking know it."
    "We will Sean."
    "Stop it now."
    "Uh oh! Yo man must be moving in his jeans Liz."
    "Do you have wood?"
    "Oh my god! That was fucking funny!"
    "I hate you two right now."
    "Shut up! You love us."
    "I don't love the shit you two are doing to me in front of a bunch of people. It's wrong."
    "As Liz would say, giving you wood is wrong?"
    "In public! Yes!"

    Sean defiantly has his hands full with me and Liz. Poor guy!


    I guess you could say I am not havin' the best day. I'm still fuckin' pissed from last night. Honestly, it bothers me a little bit that Em is cool with Liz. She likes Liz a lot. She thinks she fuckin' hot. Which she is! She thinks she's fuckin' cool as shit. Which is also is! I'll be at work and she'll be at Sean's house with those two. I do trust Em. She wouldn't fuck me when she was with Sean. So that right there tells me she won't fuck around on me. Well, with a guy at least. She wants to fuck Liz. I don't know how I feel about that yet. I damn sure don't want Sean in on it or even watchin' it. He has seen Em naked before. No! Nope! I'm not okay with him watchin'. No bueno!
    "Hey you! Emily has been texting you all morning. Are you avoiding her?"
    "A little bit."
    "Because of last night?"
    "Yeah. She pissed me off. And I'm pissed off at Jacob and your boyfriend for tellin' her I went home to sniff your panties."
    "That was Jacob. Sean just agreed with him."
    "Same fuckin' difference Liz."
    "Don't get snippy with me."
    "I'm not. I'm just not havin' a good day."
    "I'm tired. I woke up to early."
    "Take a nap. You won't miss shit. Half of what we learn you don't understand anyway."
    "Fuck you."
    "It's true!"
    "I'll give my work at the end of class to copy."
    "Okay. Wake me up when there's like ten minutes left."
    "All right."

   And now I'm bored! Melissa won't let Jacob text anymore. She took his phone away and put it in her bag. It's funny. Fuck it! I'll text Em.
    "Word up girl?"
    "Oh! Look who finally decided to quit avoiding me! Good morning good lookin'!"
    "I'm bored as fuck and still pissed off at you for that shit you said last night."
    "I'm sorry. You need to do something with Liz's panties. I'm not okay with you having them."
    "I will give em back to her if she wants em back. If not, I'll throw em in the fuckin' trash."
    "She doesn't care what you do with them Devin. As in, give them back or toss them. She thinks it's wrong you may be sniffing them while you and I are a couple."
    "I haven't been!"
    "I didn't say you were Devin. Fucking chill."
    "I am chill!"
    "GYA. TTYL."

    Got yelled at! Ha! That's why you do the sneaky texting on your lap under the table. Liz is sittin' here bein' and twitchy and mumblin' shit. She said she was tired, but damn.
    "I can't wait to get home and show mom."
    "Look at my awesome trophy."
    "Liz... Hey, you need to wake up."
    "Fuckin' wake her up man."
    "I'm tryin' dude. Liz!"
    "What's all the commotion back here you three?"
    "Liz fell asleep. I'm tryin' to wake..."
    "Holy shit."

    Liz popped awake and fell backwards in her chair and scooted into the corner with this terrified look on her face. Don't freak out! Liz said, get to me and hold me and I'll be fine. Okay.
    "Hey, hey, hey, hey, calm down."
    "Wait, where did my dad go?"
    "I... I don't know."
    "I was just talking to him about my mom."
    "Melissa please help."
    "Move! Liz, take a couple deep breaths and calm yourself down."
    "No, no, no, no! I just talking to my dad about…"
    "Liz, you fell asleep and started talking. Devin woke you up. You been here the whole time."
    "Elizabeth... Mr. Avalon is on his way to talk to you."
    "I was sleeping?"
    "Everyone saw that! Oh my god. Everyone thinks I'm crazy now."
    "Elizabeth, no one thinks you're crazy."
    "I need my phone to call my mom."
    "Ms. Toledo, back to your seat please."
    "Yes ma'am"
    "Elizabeth, you need to try and relax."
    "No! I need to call my mom Sadie."
    "Babe, phone, now!"
    "You took it from me and put in your bag."
    "Who you callin'?"
    "Texting Sean. Mr. Avalon is taking to long."
    "The fuck is he gonna do?"
    "I don't know Devin. You have a better idea?"
    "Hopefully Ms. Cooper lets him out of class."

    She did. He walked in as soon as Melissa handed Jacob his phone. Walked over to Liz grabbed her by the head and held it to his chest. Hey! Don't man handle my lady! I mean... Your lady?
    "Breathe and listen... I got you."

    What the fuck kind of voodoo shit was that? She calmed right the fuck down.

    "Everyone is going to think I'm crazy now Sean."
    "No one thinks you're crazy."
    "I was telling Melissa how I was just... How I was just now talking to my dead dad. Only crazy people do that."
    "I don't think you're crazy Liz."
    "Me either."
    "See. Mills and Jacob don't think you're crazy and either do I."
    "Elizabeth, Mr. Avalon is here. Come on, let's get you off the floor now."
    "But, I didn't do my work."
    "It's okay."
    "Come on Liz, I'll walk with you to Mr. Avalon's office if you want."
    "Okay. Mills, get her stuff together please. She just needs a minute Mr. Avalon."
    "That's fine. Let her have all the time she needs."
    "You need to get your stuff Sean?"
    "No. I grabbed everything and put it in my locker on the way here."
    "What happen?"
    "I fell asleep. Devin woke me up and I guess I fell back in my chair."
    "She was talkin' loud in her sleep. Sayin' somethin' about a trophy and can't wait to get home. Ms. Renny yelled at us because she thought we were messin' around and not doin' our work."
    "I got all your things together and in your bag Liz. Want me to put your bag in your locker after class?"
    "No. I got it. I'm ready to get off the floor and go. My butt hurts."

    I told Liz I wouldn't freak out. I was freaked out! That was crazy shit.


    I never thought Elizabeth would have an episode here at school. Good thing it wasn't like that last one. Where she threw things and broke even more things.
    "Thank you Mr. Lebedinsky. You can go back to class now."
    "No. I want him here with me."
    "All right. Have a seat and tell me what happen."
    "I fell asleep and had a dream about my dad again. Then I fell back in my chair."
    "How long ago was the last time you had one of these dreams about your dad?"
    "This morning."
    "No. Before this one."
    "This morning. Woke me up at like six. That's why I was tired."
    "Same as this one?"
    "I don't know."
    "It was. Devin told me she was talking about getting home to show her mom her trophy. She was saying the same thing this morning."
    "Okay. What happened last night before you went to bed?"
    "Um... I was telling Jacob and Melissa how my dad died and stuff."
    "Whenever you talk about your dad, do you have these dreams?"
    "Most of the time. That night I broke our T.V and stuff I had a dream about him then too."
    "What about your dad's DVD?"
    "Yes. Me and Liz found a DVD he made for her a few days before he died."
    "No. I didn't dream about him that night."
    "What does he say in this DVD?"
    "Keep mom happy and I made him proud."
    "Basically, you have these dreams when you talk about his death. Not him in general?"
    "Sometimes I talk about his death and not dream about him. But most of the time I do."
    "Can I ask something? Well, two things actually."
    "Last night, like Liz said we were hanging out with Jacob and Melissa. Liz was telling us they never found the person who hit them that night. I remember seeing something on T.V  about a woman who's daughter was rapped and murdered and she found her the next morning in the front yard. She said she kept having these dreams opening that front door and seeing her daughter. When they found the guy, her dreams of that morning stopped. Melissa told Liz that she needs closure. Because the guy is still out there somewhere and Liz can't seem to let that go. I also think that this might be the problem too. Part of it anyway."
    "I told Maria that. It's in my file, Michael knows."
    "No. This isn't in your file Elizabeth. I would've asked about it. Did you see the person? See anything at all?"
    "I saw the tires of the truck as it drove away. That's all."
    "This could be part of your issue. Closure, like Mr. Lebedinsky said. It could also just be you refusing to let go of your dad. Sometimes its take people years to get over a loss like you've had and for others it's easy."
    "What if it's me needing this person caught? What if they never find him or her? Will I have these dreams forever?"
    "Sadly, yes. You may have these dreams for a while if that's the case."
    "They won't fade away?"
    "That's also possible."
    "Can I say my second thing?"
    "I'm sorry. Go ahead."
    "I had a talk with my mom this morning after Liz woke up and yelled for her dad. She thought we were fighting and I explained to her what was going on. She brought up one of my uncles who was in the military. Because of all the first hand death he saw throughout the years, he would have nightmares of the battlefield just like Liz does with her dad. My uncle was diagnosed with PTSD. Could Liz have it too?"
    "I have considered that. I have talked to someone else who's been a psychologist much longer than myself for a second opinion. One of the first things she said was PTSD as well. I didn't want to diagnose Elizabeth with this without getting every bit of information about it first. To answer your question. Yes. I am 100% positive Elizabeth suffers from PTSD."
    "What's PDST?"
    "PTSD Elizabeth. It's Post Tarmac Stress Disorder."
    "What is it though?"
    "A mental health condition that's triggered by tarmac events in the person's life. Either experiencing it firsthand or witnessing it. In your case, you seen it and you were part of it. Most common symptoms are flashbacks and nightmares of the event. Now, a lot of people experience bad things but they don't have PTSD. Closure, and most people get better over time. Others need medication to help cope with it. So, it really depends on you Elizabeth."
    "Yes. You need to find your own way to cope with this if this person is never caught. Or I can refer you to a Mental Health Clinic aka my mom and she'll prescribe you medication that you'll have to take for a long time."
    "What kind of meds?"
    "Most likely Paroxetine with Lorazepam. An antidepressant with a stress depressant."
    "I don't wanna take pills my whole life. How else can I fix this?"
    "Is there anything specific your dad says to you in the DVD?"
    "Um... Don't stop dancing, stay strong, don't fall, don't run."
    "You're running and you're not strong. First step to making this problem go away is to realize you can't change what happen. Nothing you do or say will bring your dad back. Finding this person who took him from you that night will not bring him back. You need to bypass all of that and find your own way to cope."
    "What about your mom's storage?"
    "She did tell me I should look in all of my dad's boxes in there."
    "Mr. Lebedinsky is on the right track. Going though your dad's things could possibly help as well. Old clothes, think about giving them to a homeless shelter, any old college books give them to the library."
    "I don't wanna give my dad's things away. It's all I have of him."
    "I'm not saying to give everything away Elizabeth. Go though the boxes. Keep what means the most to you and donate the rest."
    "Clothes for dancing."
    "There's a lady who works for my mom. She's really good. You give her any material you want and she'll turn it into something for you. If you can't get yourself to get rid of his clothes, give them to her."
    "Also, a good idea."
    "All my dad's old books I can give to Hayden. He was an architect, and so is she right Sean? Should I see if she would want them?"
    "Yes. If you know someone who you think is better off with anything of your dad's. Give it to them."
    "And this is closure?"
    "For some people, yes."
    "What if it doesn't help?"
    "Then I would recommend you go see my mom."
    "And get pills?"
    "Am I crazy?"
    "Not at all."
    "I think everyone is going to think I'm crazy because of what happen in class."
    "No one understands what you've been through or what you had to see Elizabeth."
    "I wanna go home."
    "Don't let these other kids get under your skin. You are not crazy. You don't even have to explain yourself to anyone if you don't want to. Shit happens Elizabeth. Own it, don't run from it."
    "Michael said shit Sean."
    "I'll call your mom to come get you if you want, but I recommend you stay. Your call."
    "Do what you think you need to."
    "What if people call me crazy?"
    "If they are going to call you crazy they'll do it. Doesn't matter if your here or at home. You know that."
    "I need a replacement word for that. Any suggestions?"
    "You could use this instead of that in certain sentences."
    "Are you feeling better Elizabeth?"
    "Yeah. I'll stay. I'll be back in here if I do something stupid like fucking a bitch up."
    "Mmm hmm."
    "Hey! You said shit! I get a free one."
    "You chose the worse one."
    "What happens in this office stays in this office! I'm not in trouble."
    "Go back to class."
    "Fine. Bye!"

    Damn it I miss that girl. I need to figure out a way to get her back.


    It's fucked up this happen to me at school of all places. Again, Sean was completely calm when he came. How did he even find out what happened?
    "Are you okay?"
    "Yeah. How did you know what happen?"
    "Melissa sent me a text. She said something happen and Devin and Ms. Renner couldn't calm you down."
    "Ms. Cooper just let you leave?"
    "Yes. I was finished with my work and I asked her if I could go to the dance room. She gave me the key and let me go."
    "Lets go to the dance room. We have like twenty minutes to kill before English."
    "Hang out or dance?"
    "Dance. We should dance our Rumba though a few times since we have to show Jim today."
    "Okay. Music is in your bag."
    "My locker is right over here."
    "It scared me seeing you like that this morning, after you fell out of bed."
    "You were calm though. Your heart wasn't racing at all."
    "I was calm. It was scary. I guess I really didn't know what would happen. I'm glad I saw it. I know what exactly to expect now."
    "I hate these dreams about my dad Sean. I just want them to go away."
    "If you want, we can go to your mom storage after school and go through some of your dad's things."
    "I really do like the idea of making something to dance in out of my dad's clothes. I did a sketch of this dress for our Rumba. Not even knowing if we could wear something nice."
    "Can if you want to."
    "I know what I want it to look like. Normal sheer bottom. I'll show you what I came up with if you wanna see it. But the lady who works for your mom can do the top of my dress with one of my dad's shirts?"
    "Yes. She can do anything. Give her your drawing and your dad's shirt and she'll do it. You won't be disappointed."
    "My dad's tux from their wedding is in storage. I wanna use the shirt."
    "Okay. We can get it today and later we can sit down with my mom and you can tell her what you want done and she'll take it with her to work tomorrow."
    "Will it be done tomorrow too?"
    "Yes. My mom pays her extra to power work if something needs to be done."
    "Cool. I'm excited."
    "Love you."
    "I love you too. Grab your shoes."
    "Oh! Duh! Let's go dance!"
    "After you."
    "Hey! Did you want me to go first so you could smack my butt as I walked by?"

    I am feeling much better. Michael is right. I shouldn't let these other kids get under my skin. If they wanna call me crazy fine! I don't care. My man, and my friends all know what happen and why and you know what? That's all that matters. Fuck everyone else.



    I needed this day off. I worked a double yesterday, which I fuckin' hate doing. Ah, my wife!
    "Really Ode? Again?"
    "Open your legs!"
    "No! I need a rest."
    "I'd tell you to go make me food, but you eat shit."
    "Go downstairs and get something from your fridge and I'll cook for you."
    "Do you remember how to cook meat?"
    "Shut up."
    "I'll be back."
    "What woman?!"
    "Put a shirt on."
    "Fuckin' kiddin' me?"

    Fuckin' shirt on! I'm goin' downstairs and that's it. Let's hope Dev didn't eat all the good shit in here. He didn't, nice. He did eat all the tortillas. Fuckin' kid.
    "Mr. Hart a word?"
    "Afternoon Val."
    "I came up to drop these papers off with you."
    "Eviction papers? For what? I pay my rent on time every month."
    "According to my daughter Mr. Hart, you have drugs in your apartment."
    "I have pot. That's all I have and I have a card in my wallet that shows I can legally have it. You're a lawyer. You have no proof of anything and you can't kick me out on someone's word. You know that."
    "She said you and your brother gave her coke and ecstasy."
    "She didn't get no coke and pills from me. I don't got shit to hide Val. I will open my safe for you and show you there ain't shit in there."
    "You have thirty days Mr. Hart."
    "Have you upgraded all the smoke detectors and sprinklers in these apartments? That's a pretty big fine and I have not seen your paper work showing they've been upgraded. That paper work should've been on my desk over two weeks ago."
    "Excuse me?"
    "I'll be out in thirty days."

    You fuckin' bitch. What time is it? No phone, fuck!

    "Hayd! Time!?"
    "12:04, why?"
    "Here you go."
    "Eviction papers? For what?"
    "Coke and ecstasy."
    "Move in here with me."
    "What about Dev?"
    "I gotta go."
    "Where are you getting off to?"
    "School. Papers please. I'll be back."
    "Love you."
    "Love you too."

    Good day turned into a bad one way to fuckin' easy. I'm pissed! No right to kick me out without any kind of proof. She fuckin' knows that. It's bullshit. Lunch hasn't started yet. Good, I don't have to run my ass around lookin' for Dev. Just sit right here on his car. Be a nice surprise for him when he walks out. And there he is. He see's me and stops dead in his tracks. Yes Dev, you're in trouble. Don't be scared get the fuck over here.
    "What it do baby?"
    "Some fuckin' bullshit."
    "Oh! You sound fuckin' pissed! What Dev do this time?"
    "Stick around and fine out. The fuck over here man!"
    "He's already scared you're here and you go and yell at him like that. Fuckin' great!"
    "The fuck is your problem Ode?"
    "The fuck is my problem? Read these fuckin' papers and then you tell me what the fuck."
    "Eviction papers? For what? We pay our rent one time and we follow all the rules. We ain't loud and shit."
    "Apparently, someone from our apartment has been givin' her daughter coke and pills."
    "I only gave her coke Ode. Kim is the one who gave her the pills."
    "Yeah, I know. Ten for $20 so she wouldn't tell her mom about it."
    "No! Ten for $20 so she wouldn't tell me that Kim was stealin' your shit and sellin' behind you back. I fuckin' told you Ode! I told you I wasn't stealin' your shit. Heather told me this shit herself on Monday."
    "She did Oden."
    "You see! You don't believe me you have to believe Melissa. She don't fuckin' lie about shit."
    "What the fuck happen between you and that stuck up coke queen bitch that made her go and rat me out to her fuckin' bitch of a mom?"
    "I haven't done shit to her. She's been callin' and textin' me non stop wantin' me to get back with her. That's all I can think of dude."
    "She wasn't to happy to see me there, and then Liz knocked her ass off her high horse and told her to stay way from Sean. She had a really bad day. She probably told her mom everything because she was fucking pissed off."
    "We got thirty days to be out. Hayd wants me to move in with her. That's not gonna work because I ain't stayin' in those apartments."
    "Liz and her mom are movin' in with me and Jim. Do the swap a roo and take over rent at their place."
    "Next door to the shrink?"
    "Oh! My bad."
    "That may be our only option right now Ode. But we gotta jump on it before her mom gives her thirty day notice."
    "Is it a nice place?"
    "Yeah. Two bedroom, one bathroom, kinda small. But it's nice."
    "Talk to Blondie. I need to call Joe. Him and his wife just bought a house and he's renting out his old one. It's a nice three bedroom, two bathroom. Enough room for me, you, Hayd, and Milly. If I can get that house I'm passin' on Blondie's. I don't wanna live next door to that fuckin' guy."
    "Okay. I'll talk to Liz after lunch."
    "Or you could go talk to my uncle. He might call Amanda for you."
    "That too. Liz's mom is super cool. Go talk to Jim."
    "All right."
    "Food! Now get the fuck off my car."
    "Want me to get off your car?"
    "I fuckin' hate you dude. Seriously."

    I hate hoops. I sent Joe a text, he should call me as soon as he gets a minute. Now Jim. He's not in his office. The fuck?
    "Help with anything Mr. Hart?"
    "I'm lookin' for Jim."
    "He went with Ms. Sanders to the dance room."
    "Okay. Where would that be?"
    "Go back out right there and it's straight across the hall."
    "No problem."

    He may be a nice guy, but I still don't fuckin' like him. Sean and Blondie are dancing. I just stand right here by the door a watch. She gives me a smile when she sees me and keeps going. Damn Blondie is flexible! Mmm! That girl is fuckin' hot. I won't lie.
    "Hi Oden! Hugs!"
    "That was really good. Super flexy. I liked it."
    "Thank you! Jim? Good? Yes? No? We changed everything you wanted."
    "It was very good. Your mother is going to love it."
    "I had no idea you were that good Liz. You two together, blows me away. Great chemistry too! Amazing. Absolutely amazing."
    "Eee! Thanks Ms. Cooper. Lunch!"
    "I need to talk to you and Jim."
    "What do you need Oden?"
    "I have thirty days to be out of my apartment. I was talkin' to Devin outside and he said you and your mom are movin' and your house will be for rent?"
    "Has she gave her thirty days yet? Jacob said to do the house swap and take over rent. No hassle that way."
    "Mandy called and gave her thirty days yesterday. But I'm sure she has no problem calling and putting in a good word for you and your brother."
    "Mommy is awesome! She'll defiantly put in a good word for you guys."
    "One of my co-workers has a house for rent, maybe. I'll talk to him some time today, so hold off on askin' her to put in a good word for us. I'll text Devin or Jacob and one of them will let you know if we need it or not."
    "All right."
    "Okie dokie! Food Sean."
    "Let's go feed you."
    "Bye Oden."
    "Later Blondie."
    "Let's go have a chat in my office before you head out."
    "What exactly is going on?"
    "Heather told her mom I'm selling drugs."
    "Without proof of that she can't evict you. Have a seat. She's a lawyer, she knows this."
    "That's what I told her. At the same time I don't wanna deal with any of this bullshit. I'd rather pack up my shit and go."
    "Are you selling drugs? I do know Jacob buys weed from you."
    "No. I have personal weed. I give it to Jacob. I don't sell it to him."
    "Why would she even tell her mother this?"
    "Devin said she's all pissed off because he won't get back with her or somethin'."
    "I see. Some people will do shit like this out of spite."
    "Oh! Believe me. I know."
    "How's Jacob's car coming along?"
    "It's been done for a few days now. He doesn't know this. It'll be a nice surprise for him on Friday."
    "He promised me no money out of my pocket."
    "Don't worry about it Jim. It's already been taken care of. Excuse me, I need to take this call and get on out here."
    "All right. Have a good day."
    "You too."

    I hope Joe comes through for me. I know of one other house in town. But there is no fuckin' way in hell I'll live two minutes away from fuckin' Ryan. No!
    "What's goin' on?"
    "Hey, sorry I didn't call you sooner. New guy is here. You know how it is."
    "Yeah. So hey, you rent out your house yet?"
    "No. Me and Grace are going to paint it and get the carpets and shit cleaned first. Make it look good before putting it out there."
    "Fuck all that. Rent it to me as is. My wife will fix it for you."
    "Ms. Hayden Renovations."
    "She'll make look it good. Let her do whatever she wants and I guarantee you can rent it double when we move out."
    "Right. What's going on? Tired of apartment living?"
    "I got a fuckin' eviction notice."
    "For what?"
    "Owners daughter said I'm sellin' drugs."
    "Does she have proof of this?"
    "Nope. I ain't fightin' it. I'm packin' my shit and gettin' the fuck out."
    "Okay. Go by my house and get the keys from Grace. I won't charge you shit to move in since it's the middle of the month. On the first you pay me $950. Fair enough?"
    "How long are you going to be dry for?"
    "I don't know. If you're runnin' low I can make a call for you. On me! Since you're renting me your house for nothin' down ya know."
    "Yeah. That sounds like a deal to me."
    "All right. I'll give you a call later today sometime."
    "Sounds good. I'll call Grace and let her know you're on your way."
    "Oh! Hey."
    "Do you remember the inspection we did on Almaden Heights? All the alarms and what not needed to be updated."
    "Yeah, I remember."
    "Good. Go in my office and find the paperwork on that in the filing cabinet. Send it out to city hall with a fine on it."
    "I see what you're doing."
    "Hell naw! She has not updated shit and that paper work showin' she did do it was suppose to be on my desk like two weeks ago. But yeah, I feel like bein' a dick."
    "I'll handle it."
    "Nice. Thanks again man. I really do appreciate it."
    "Not a problem Ode. I'd rather rent to someone I know personally anyway."
    "I feel you on that. All right! I'm off here. I'll make that call for you and we'll meet up later."
    "Sounds good."
    "All right. Later."

    Hayden is gonna have fun with this place. Fuckin' done!


    Me and Sean decided to stay here and get food. No one is looking at me crazy or anything, so that's good. Right? Piper and Blaine decided to come sit with us. Sad face! No more lunch time cuddles and kisses.
    "What the hell happen to you this morning Liz?"
    "Blaine… I told you not to ask her."
    "Fuckin' curious Pipe."
    "Don't answer him Liz. It's none of his business."
    "I fell asleep and fell back in my chair."
    "And yelled for your dad? Him leaving your mom messed you up that bad?"
    "Blaine! I hope Sean kicks your ass for that one."
    "My dad didn't leave my mom. He died."
    "Oh. I thought he... I'm sorry Liz. So, you had like a nightmare? Woke up all confused and shit?"
    "Yes, I guess."
    "I've had dreams like that. Kind of. Dream that you're falling and you jerk awake."
    "Yeah! That's how I fell back in my chair. Everyone was looking at me like I was crazy, because I was telling Melissa I was just talking to my dad."
    "You are not crazy."
    "Listen to Sean. You're not crazy Liz. Like Blaine, I've had dreams where I woke up all confused and shit too. You falling back in your chair probably just knocked the wind out of you and confused you more. That's all."
    "Have people being talking about me?"
    "Yes. They're just saying you flipped out in class. No one is calling you crazy. Fuck them, it's no ones business what happen or why. You didn't even have to tell Blaine."
    "Mr. Avalon said not to let these guys get under your skin. They don't know your story."
    "Words of wisdom from the school shrink. God what I wouldn't give to see him topless."
    "I've seen him topless."
    "Have you really?!"
    "Yeah. He's my neighbor."
    "How does he look?"
    "He's okay I guess."
    "Okay! I have a good one. Who looks better without a shirt. Devin or Sean?"
    "Have you seen Sean with his shirt off?"
    "Sean by far."
    "Who's better in bed?"
    "I don't talk about my sex life."
    "It's been around that Devin is awesome in bed. Nothing about Sean though. Devin is better isn't he?"
    "Okay! I'll say one thing, and only one thing. If Sean is okay with it."
    "I'm not okay with it if it makes me look bad."
    "Nothing you do in bed is bad."
    "Sean lasts forever! Devin, not so much."
    "Devin is a 30 second lover?"
    "No, he lasts longer than 30 seconds."
    "And Sean lasts forever? How long is forever?"
    "Nope! I said all I could."
    "Aw! Come on! Okay! But who's better?"
    "All I wanted to know. Why don't you last forever Blaine?"
    "I last long enough."
    "Are you sure? Does she get hers before you?"
    "Yes. Sometimes. I go back and finish her off okay!"
    "Does Sean have to go back and finish you off Liz?"
    "No I don't. I do it right the first time."
    "Aw! Fuck you Sean."
    "His teeth are made of wood and he cannot tell a lie. He does not have to go back to finish me off because he does right the first time. Ha!"


    Now that was a great lunch! I got to pick on Blaine. Well, Sean did. But it was awesome either way. I got Devin's science homework from him before heading in. As always I finish my work get bored and do the homework. When is math going to be challenging to me? Really? Everyone gives me crazy looks when we have a test and I turn mine in right away.
    "What's the answer for 15?"
    "X is 75 and Y is 15."
    "Thanks. What happen with you this morning?"
    "I fell asleep and fell back in my chair."
    "People are saying you were talking about your dad or something?"
    "I don't wanna talk about it Cole."
    "Okay. Sorry. Didn't mean to make you mad."
    "I'm not mad. I just don't wanna talk about it that's all."
    "What's the answer for 16?"
    "Oh my god! Here! Just copy my paper."
    "Thanks. You smell good."
    "I will punch you."
    "It's a compliment."
    "I will still punch you. But, thank you."
    "You're welcome. Thanks for not hitting me. It would probably hurt since you can pick up Sean and all. That fool ain't small."
    "I can't pick him up easily. Can I ask you something?"
    "I guess."
    "Are people saying I'm crazy?"
    "No. They're saying you freaked out in class and Mr. Avalon had to go get you."
    "Oh. Okay."
    "Why do you think people are calling you crazy? Because you said something about your dad?"
    "That doesn't make you crazy. Talking to walls does. Do you talk to walls?"
    "Then you're not crazy."

    That was a cool little chat with Cole. He's not a bad guy at all! That's cool. And no one is calling me crazy! I'm not crazy! I'm good.
    "Thanks again for letting me copy your work Liz."
    "You're wel... AH! Hey you!"
    "Anyway! You're welcome."
    "You're making all the boyfriends in this school look bad."
    "Carrying Liz around like that."
    "Carry Hailey."
    "I don't want to."
    "Then don't say I'm making you look bad."
    "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"
    "You're not gonna make her walk down the stairs?"
    "He won't drop me."
    "I hope not. You're too pretty to fall down all these stairs."
    "Aw! Cole is hitting on me Sean."
    "No he's not."
    "Are you hitting on me?"
    "No. You want me to?"
    "No. You want him to Sean?"
    "I think he knows better."
    "Yeah! See ya."
    "Bye Cole."
    "Bye Liz."
    "I asked Cole is anyone was calling me crazy."
    "They're not. You need to stop worrying about this and what people think."
    "I care about this though."
    "Aw! Why did you put me down for?"
    "To talk to you."
    "Why do you care about this so much?"
    "I just don't want people to think I'm crazy. Talking in my sleep, then telling Melissa I was just talking to my dad. Everyone was looking at me like, what the fuck!"
    "You're not crazy though. No one here knows what happen to you, what you had to see. It affects people Liz. Yeah! People are going to talk and shit, but they don't know shit about you. Where's the fuck them Liz? What happen to her? Where did she go?"
    "I'm still here."
    "Not today you're not. Letting this get to you. It doesn't bother me what happen. My feelings haven't changed at all. All of your friends are still here. That's all that matters Liz. Fuck everyone else."
    "Boop! Love you."
    "Love you too."

    I just need to stop it and listen to Sean and Michael. Don't let these other guys get under my skin. No one is saying anything bad about what happen. Just let it go Lizzy. You're fine. I wanna have a good day! Not a bad one! So suck it up and go dance. Let's go dance!
    "Dance with me!"
    "Dance what?"
    "Just dance. Come on. I have headphones. You have one and I have one and we can plug into your phone since you have more music. Come on."
    "Okay. Am I leading you or are you leading me?"
    "It's the man's job to lead his partner."
    "It works both ways."
    "You lead..."
    "Oh my god! You're doin' wrong!"
    "What the fuck?"
    "Rebecca going psycho on James."
    "Is this new?"
    "No. She does it all the time when Ms. Cooper steps out. Would you ever yell at me like that?"
    "I would never yell at you like that Sean. Should we tell them they're both wrong?"
    "James isn't. Just watch."
    "Oh! You're right."
    "I have History with James. He asks me questions all the time."
    "Cool. Rebecca! You're wrong, not Flinch."
    "Please! You do what Sean tells you. You don't know shit."
    "Your counting is off Rebecca! 1-2-3-a-4, 5-a-6. You're going 1-2-a-3-4. 1 and 2 are your link steps, 3 and 4 are your LEFT chasse, 5 and 6 are your RIGHT chasse. Do you understand? Watch. 1-2 one foot in front of the other and rock forward, 3-4 glide left, 5-6, glide right. You're going left one count sooner than Flinch. He's right. You are not."
    "You're a whack job Liz. Talking about your dad in your sleep and shit. Waking up asking Devin where he went. You were sleeping the whole time."
    "Fuck you."
    "Does Ms. Lizzy have daddy issues? Did he not tell you he loved you enough before he walked out on you and your mom?"
    "That's enough Rebecca."
    "Your girlfriend is making me look dumb, so I'm making her look dumb. What's wrong Lizzy? Sore subject? Your daddy?"
    "You know nothing about my dad. I promise you if you say one more fucking word about him I'll knock out all you pretty white teeth."
    "Liz, relax. She's not worth it."
    "I'm only curious why he left. Was it because you're completely crazy?"
    "That's fucking enough! You want to run your mouth about shit you have no idea about with Liz's dad? Let talks talk about your dad Rebecca! How long has he been in prison now? Going on what? Five years? The drunk, heroin addict, thief. Drinking and driving, killing a mother and her six-month-old son."
    "Shut your fucking mouth Sean."
    "Low life drunk like your dad is the reason why Liz's dad isn't around anymore."
    "Oh! A drunk who walked out on his family! That's great!"
    "A drunk driver killed my dad Rebecca. He'd never walk out on me and my mom. He's fucking dead. I need some air Sean. Before I fuck this bitch up."
    "Okay. Come on."
    "Liz, I… I didn't…"
    "Just shut the fuck up."
    "I'm trying to apologize Liz."
    "I don't want it!"
    "Liz, come on."
    "What is going on in here?"
    "Me and Liz need air."
    "Wait! Ms. Cooper? Jive count?"
    "1-2-3-a-4, 5-a-6"
    "Boom! Ballerina bitch! Boop! Air now."

    Ms. Cooper didn't even stop us as we walked passed her. I don't think she even called Jim on me. I love Ms. Cooper. She's cool.
    "You sure do know how to exit a room."
    "You liked that?"
    "I did actually. Are you okay?"
    "Yeah. I'm good. You yelled at her."
    "She made me mad. I don't like her at all right now."
    "Thank you for standing up for me like that."
    "You're welcome."
    "Is her dad really in prison?"
    "For how long?"
    "The rest of his life."
    "That sucks."
    "Yeah. You have everything? Or do we need to go in?"
    "We can't leave!"
    "Yes we can. Come on."
    "I need my stuff."
    "Let's go get your stuff."
    "I want ice cream."


    Hayd is excited to see the house. I told her she's movin' in with me and Dev and she didn't say no. She don't ever say no to me. Three bedrooms, two bathrooms. Plenty of fuckin' room for all of us. Texted Jacob and told him to tell Jim never mind on Blondie's house. Made the call I needed to for Joe. Meeting Joe when he gets off work to handle that. Things are lookin' good right about now.
    "What do you think Hayd?"
    "Everything is outdated."
    "Joe and the wife were gonna fix everything, I told him fuck it give it to me as is. Do whatever you want to it Hayd."
    "He's allowing me to?"
    "Yup. Have fun."
    "How much is rent?"
    "$950 a month. We don't have to pay shit to move in."
    "$950 is cheaper than the apartments Ode."
    "I know. You want the house or not?"
    "Yes! How do I get out of my year lease?"
    "You still have your rental agreement?"
    "Early termination fee. Pay it and pack your shit."
    "The master is here with a shitter. Milly and Dev can fight over what room they want upstairs."
    "Give Devin the room with the balcony. That way he can go out and smoke easier. Milly won't care. Oh my god!"
    "This kitchen is yuck Ode!"
    "Open that door right there."
    "Oh my god! A laundry room of my own. Hayden is happy! No dinning area though."
    "What would look better right here? My long table or your square one?"
    "Mine. We can put yours in the kitchen right here against this wall and use it for extra counter space or something."
    "Whatever you want Hayd."
    "My first house with my hubby!"
    "One thing. Don't put too much money in this place. We're still leavin' after the kids graduate."
    "I can do amazing things with little money. You know that."
    "I know."
    "Lets go get my car and go shopping!"
    "Make a list woman!"
    "I did! See! Right here on my phone. I wonder... You have a sharp pocket knife?"
    "Give me."
    "The fuck you doin'?"
    "Oh my god! Look at the floor under the carpet! Look!"
    "Okay and?"
    "This wood is way too beautiful for carpet. Carpet is gone! And it stinks."
    "Don't go overboard Hayd."
    "Shhh! Here's your knife."

    Hayd is gonna overboard! I can see it in her eyes. Fuckin' woman.


    Where the hell is that girl at? She knows I have to take my car to Devin right now. It doesn't take that long to change and get shit out of your locker.
    "Fucking took you long enough Becca."
    "I had to use the bathroom to change my tampon if you must know."
    "Don't mention your period. It'll make me start mine."
    "When is your dad going to change the tire on Travis's car? I want mine back already."
    "He did it today. I'm taking you to my house to get it. Then I have to go see Devin."
    "I'm pissed off."
    "Sean yelled at me today in dance and told everyone about my dad."
    "Everyone knows he's in prison Becca."
    "Yeah I know, but they didn't know why he is. Now they all know."
    "What did you do to him to make him say that? Sean doesn't get mad very easy."
    "I fucked up talking about Liz. Called her a whack job because of her episode today and then said some fucked up shit about her dad leaving them and Sean just flipped the fuck out. Like hard core."
    "Liz's dad is dead Becca. She was in the car when they got hit by a drunk driver. She watched her dad die. She has these dreams about that night all the time and the result is what happen today. She's not crazy or anything Becca. She's just not over her dad."
    "I feel 100 times worse now. Thanks."
    "What made you start talking about her dad anyway?"
    "I went off on James because we kept fucking up our dance and Liz was all, you're wrong Becca not him. I told her shut up because all she does is follow Sean's instructions and one thing led to another."
    "No she doesn't. Liz is an eleven time dance champ. If she said you're wrong, then you're fucking wrong. She's been dancing since she was four years old and she knows her shit. I've watched her and Sean work together. Everything they do is all 50/50."
    "I pretty much made myself look like a complete idiot today."
    "You sure did! You're lucky Liz didn't beat the shit out of you too. You run your mouth to damn much. You need to stop doing that shit."
    "I say what I hear Em."
    "That's what I'm talking about Becca! Keep your fucking mouth shut. One of these days someone from school is going to beat the fuck out of you."


    Fucking girl! She's family and I love her, but damn it! She's stupid as shit. Now, time for some new tires.
    "Hello Ms. Martinez."
    "Hey Scott. Devin said I need tires."
    "Yeah. He already paid for four new ones for you."
    "Four? He said I only needed two."
    "Might as well change all four."
    "I guess. Here's my keys. Any weed by any chance?"
    "Ash tray in my truck. There's a joint in there. Don’t take the blunt."
    "Oh! Yeah! I don’t wanna smoke coke like you guys."
    "The joint is fine."
    "Same as Jacob's weed?"
    "Yes ma'am. Have at it."
    "Thank you. Where is Devin?"
    "Right there."
    "I see feet."
    "Oil change. He'll be done in a minute."

    Sit right here on Devin's car and smoke this weed. I love this weed. It tastes good, and the high is super mellow. Doesn't get you all bombed and shit. Love it! Jacob's car doesn't look that bad. Well, it does and it doesn't. Poor Mustang.
    "Where'd you get the weed?"
    "Scott's truck. Hit?"
    "Should’ve grabbed that blunt. It’s good too."
    "Coke again Devin?"
    "Not every day anymore. Me, Jacob, and Scott were hittin’ that blunt earlier."
    "Mills get pissed?"
    "She didn’t stop by with him. My turn now."
    "Oh! Sorry."
    "Thank you my Lady."
    "I thought you were going to be changing my tires?"
    "Scott can handle it."
    "You bought me four tires, and you said I only needed two."
    "Might as well change em all."
    "Do I get a kiss stinky?"
    "But all these people will see!"
    "Shut your mouth and give me a kiss asshole... One more! Thank you."
    "Any tits pop out today?"
    "Hailey's did. As usual. And Mills needs to get back into it."
    "What do mean?"
    "She's our high flyer and she's scared to be tossed. She never was before."
    "She pulled a muscle in her side. It probably hurts her."
    "Oh! That's right! But she doesn't say shit. She acts scared."
    "She's scared it's gonna hurt."
    "Time you get off?"
    "Nothing to do. Jacob and Mills are at your new house helping Ode and Hayd. Liz and Sean are at her mom's storage going through her dad's things. I have no one to play with."
    "Go help Jacob and Melissa. All they're doin' is pullin' up carpet tonight."
    "No idea where this house is."
    "You know where Blaine lives?"
    "Go passed his street and turn down the next one. I'm not sure what house it is either to be honest with you. All I know is it's one of those corner houses right there. You should see Jacob's car or Hayden's. Maybe my brothers."
    "Sounds easy enough."
    "A monkey could find it."
    "Would I be the monkey?"
    "That's me."
    "What do you know about brains?"
    "Zombies enjoy em."
    "I'm serious."
    "I don't know. Give me an example."
    "Liz and her dreams."
    "Brain doesn't control our dreams. Dreams are sometimes based on shit we see. So dreams could possibly be linked to the limbic system in the brain. That's where memory is processed."
    "Could something in her brain cause her to have these dreams more often?"
    "Mmm… Yeah. Over active hippocampus maybe. People with Alzheimer's basically have no hippocampus. Well, they have one but it doesn't work like it used to, that's why they can't remember their wife or kids. Over active hippocampus is also what causes Alzheimer's."
    "Will her dreams ever stop?"
    "I don't know. Maybe. She has to get over her dad. Really depends on her. Why are you askin' me this?"
    "I was talking to Sean about it. What happen to her at school also happen this morning at his house. Scared the shit out him. He said the way she fell out of bed or whatever was like a ghost movie. You know how a ghost would grab a person and throw them across the room? He said it was like that and it scared him."
    "That would scare me too."
    "She never had this happen with you?"
    "No. First time I saw it was today. It did freak me out a little bit. The look she had on her face when she hit the floor. She's fucked up."
    "She is! She's not crazy at all. Just, what happen to her and everything she saw fucked her up."
    "Oh. Is there anyway to help her?"
    "Not really. The only one who can help her is her."
    "That sucks. Mr. Avalon said to find closure somehow."
    "He's knows more about this than I do. It's his job. If he says that'll help then yeah, it'll help. Maybe. I don't know."
    "Sean said Mr. Avalon thinks she might have... PSDT?"
    "What is that?"
    "Post tarmac stress disorder."
    "Like the people in the military get?"
    "What do you think?"
    "She could have it. PTSD is from seein' bad shit. Liz saw her dad die. So it's possible."
    "You seen death. Why aren't you messed up?"
    "I didn't know the guy."
    "You and Scott cut up a body and fed it to pigs Devin."
    "So. I didn't know the guy. All I know is, Scott almost died because of the dude."
    "You never once had a dream about it?"
    "No. You can't compare this to what I did Em. I didn't know the guy. Liz saw her dad die. It's totally different."
    "But she's not crazy?"
    "No. You think she is?"
    "No. She thinks she is."
    "She's perfectly fine. She's just a little bit fucked up like the rest of us. Looks like your car is done."
    "Cool. I'll be hanging out with your sexy ass brother."
    "I'm sexy too!"
    "I know! Give me a kiss. Thank you. I'll see you in a bit?"
    "Sweet. Love you."
    "Yeah, yeah."
    "Love you too! Damn!"
    "Later gator."


    There's so much stuff to go through I don't even know where to start. Okay! Books first, since they are stacked right here in the corner. Good. Good start.
    "You want me to get these boxes down for you?"
    "Um... Yeah. They should be labeled."
    "They are. Most of them say clothes."
    "Just put those aside. Any box that says something else put them over here against this wall. I wanna look in those first."
    "Okay, and all the books are going to Hayden?"
    "Just the building ones. Some of these are mine. Ballroom for Dummies! My dad got this for my 10th birthday."
    "Is it good?"
    "It is actually. I should give it to Rebecca."
    "That might piss her off. Oh shit!"
    "This one is heavy."
    "What does it say on it?"
    "Clothes. No way is this clothes."
    "Open it."
    "Random stuff. Trophies?"
    "My dad got awards and stuff for some of his buildings he did."
    "Aww! Look."
    "Oh my god! My first pair of ballet shoes! What else is in there?"
    "Gold metals for junior dancing, little tap shoes, and this. What is this?"
    "Turn it over."
    "Oh. Elizabeth Whitney Sanders, Amanda Carolyn Sanders, Mathew Alan Sanders. But, what is it?"
    "A tile from my old house. The house we lived in my dad built it. That was one of the tiles that was in the kitchen. He didn't glue it down, just sat it there on the floor. My mom must have grabbed it when we moved."
    "Oh. A little box with teeth."
    "My baby teeth."
    "And your baby book. 6lbs 9oz. You were small."
    "I know."
    "Your first word was, crap. Most kid's first word is mom or dad."
    "My dad always said crap instead of shit. He would drop something and be like, crap! Or, excuse me while I go take a crap."
    "That's funny. I'm going to sit this over here. Anything else you want to take just sit it here too."
    "Okay. Here, take these and sit them over there. There's a few more too."
    "Put them on top."
    "Don't pull your wiener muscle!"
    "I won't."
    "I'm gonna put everything back in this…"
    "You okay?"
    "Tickets to go see Lord of the Dance in Ireland on October 4th. Beanstalk, you been talking about this crap for years! So here you go. Happy Birthday. Mom and dad. We never…"


    I'm trying so hard to not pick up this box and throw it. I ended up throwing the birthday card like a Frisbee then one of my dad's awards. Breaking it, that's when Sean grabbed a hold of me.
    "Come on. We'll take the books to Hayden and come back another time."
    "No. I have to look in these boxes."
    "Okay. I'm right here Liz. Anything makes you mad you don't have to throw shit. You can walk over to me and punch me."
    "I don't wanna hit you."
    "I don't want you to break something else and then regret it. That's all."
    "I'm done with this box. Can you slide it over there please?"
    "What happen?"
    "I'm tall and still can't reach!"
    "Yes! Thank you!"
    "Here's another heavy... Why are you still throwing shit?"
    "You didn't just throw this at me?"
    "Why are you lying?"
    "I'm not! It was probably between the boxes and fell when you moved the top one. What is it?"
    "A folder."
    "What's in it?"
    "Liar. Gimme!"
    "Just trust me please."
    "Give me the folder!"
    "Okay, sorry. Here."
    "I should've trusted you."
    "Coroner's report on my dad. Oh! My trust paper work. Whoa! I have $827,502.32, look!"
    "Money you can't get until you're twenty."
    "Yeah. Aww! An ultrasound from when my mom was pregnant with... Not me! What the fuck?!"
    "Let me see. September 20th. What happen?"
    "This paper here says, spontaneous abortion. My mom had an abortion after my dad died? Look October 2nd. What the fuck mom?"
    "No. That's medical term for a miscarriage."
    "Oh. I'm done looking through shit now. I wanna go."
    "Okay. What are we taking besides these books?"
    "This box. Here, put this folder in it before you close it. Oh! My dad's tux."
    "You find it while I put these in the truck."
    "Okay... Wait! It's right here. It says Lorenzo's Bridal on it."
    "Open it. It might be your mom's..."
    "My mom's wedding dress! Okay! Then it's this one. Yup! Got it, I'm ready now."
    "Help me with these books."
    "No. That's mans work."
    "Boop! Gimme some books."
    "Thank you."
    "Kiss me!"
    "You okay?"
    "Don't lie."
    "I'm not. I'm okay, I promise. I just can't look at anything else right now."
    "Baby steps. No one said you had to drive right in."
    "Я люблю тебя."
    "Love you too. Thank you for helping me with all of this and not running away after everything."
    "I won't ever run away. You need me, I'm here. Day or night."
    "Thank you."
    "You're welcome."
    "Okay! I need to call Melissa real fast and make sure Hayden is home. Can you close and lock this up for me?"
    "Yes. Key?"

    I love him so much! He was trying to spare my feelings with the folder. It was sweet of him. Melissa isn't home, they're all at Devin's new house. I got directions and we are good to go. I really hope Hayden likes these books.
    "Hey Blondie."
    "I have something for you!"
    "Yep! Sean is bringing them in."
    "What are you guys doing?"
    "Pulling carpet and taping shit off for paint."
    "What color carpet are you putting in?"
    "None. This wood is to beautiful."
    "Yeah! Sand and lacquer and this bitch will shine!"
    "What do you know about floors?"
    "I know a little bit. My dad was an architect like you."
    "Question, since you seem to know more about this than anyone else. Out of these three colors, which one do you think would go best with the hard wood?"
    "Um… Are staining it dark or light?"
    "This color. The light grey will go real good. But, if it was my house I'd go with this color."
    "The light beige? Really?"
    "Yeah. But you have these three marked. So go with the light grey."
    "Now I'm leaning toward this beige."
    "Get a sample of each color."
    "Yeah. I might do that."
    "Where do you want these?"
    "Oh! Sit them anywhere Sean. What are these?"
    "For you! It's all my dad's old books. Come look."
    "Let's have a look... Oh my god!"
    "A Pattern Language! First edition! You know how hard it is to find this book?"
    "Mmm! The smell of old books! Want!"
    "They're all yours Hayden."
    "Are you sure?"
    "Yeah. If there's one you have already I'll take it back, but please take whatever."
    "I don't have any of these. Most are not even in print anymore Liz. These are awesome. Thank you."
    "You're welcome."
    "What the hell just fell out?"
    "Oh my god! It's a love letter to my dad from my mom! My mom was only thirteen when she wrote this! Look at the date. How cool!"
    "Hold on! We gotta jiggle books for more love letters!"

    We found four more letters. I love them! I had Sean stop by the store on the way to my house to get a cute little box to put them all in. I grabbed clothes, my sketchbook, and sat the little box on my mom's bed. I hope she likes that I gave them back to her. Me and Sean got food and a case of water, and it's already after seven! It's gonna be a really long night. First, we talk to Vey. She's talking to Sean's dad on the computer. I just smile and wave at him.
    "Liz есть что-то, чтобы показать вам."
    "Хорошо, одна минута."
    "Give her a minute."
    "Have I told you I love this door?"
    "I do. Walk outside? The stars are out."
    "It's gonna be a long night."
    "We have to at least get halfway through this Argentine Tango."
    "Did you see that!?"
    "Make a wish."
    "What did you wish for?"
    "I can't tell you. Won't come true."
    "It's a shooting star. Not a birthday cake."
    "What did you wish for?"
    "I can't tell you. Won't come true."
    "Come on."
    "Kiss me under the stars."
    "Come on."
    "Leez show me something?"
    "Yes. She has a request."
    "Yeah! Come look. Sean said to talk to you about it. My Rumba dress."
    "I see. When be done?"
    "Our Rumba is done."
    "завтра. She was asking when the dress needed to be done."
    "You want just like dees?"
    "Yes. Sheer skirt to about here. Not to the floor."
    "One minute. Ivan, pen. I write just what you want. Okay I write on dees?"
    "Yeah. These dots are sequins. I want the straps to be sequins too. These marks are… ruffles I guess? Sean come here. Like this."
    "Oh, no ruffle. Pinch."
    "Yeah. I have this. It's my dad's tux from his wedding. Sean said there's a lady who works for you who can do just about anything?"
    "The top I want to be made of his shirt. Can she do that?"
    "Yes. She do what you want. What you... Ее измерения?"
    "What are your measurements?"
    "Oh! I wrote them down right here in the corner. And this number here is inches from my hip right here, down. That's how long I was the skirt part to be."
    "Good. Color?"
    "Color gems?"
    "Silver. Will she be able to have it done tomorrow?"
    "Yes. I pay more and she do. It be done. You need shoe to go with?"
    "I have black shoes I been dancing in. I was just going to wear those."
    "Size shoe?"
    "Eight. I don't need shoes."
    "No black. Has to go with. No silver shoe?"
    "Um... I have grey."
    "No. I get shoe to go with. Yeah?"
    "Просто туфли, даже если она говорит, что нет."
    "I told her not worry about shoes."
    "Yeah, don't worry about shoes Vey. I have tons, we'll find a pair that go really good."
    "Okay, no shoe. Look over and make sure what you want."
    "Yep. Perfect!"
    "Good. I put in car now. If question she call Ivan."
    "Want me to write my number down?"
    "Yes, yes."
    "How much will I owe you for this?"
    "No, no. No pay."
    "Are you sure?"
    "Yes. No pay."
    "Thank you Vey. Hug?"
    "Welcome Leez."
    "Спасибо, мама."
    "Женись на ней. Я люблю ее."
    "Слишком рано."
    "English please?"
    "I told her thank you, she said you're welcome, and I said we need to work."
    "I feel like you guys are talking about me when you talk in Russian."
    "English no good still. Easy Russia. Ivan teach you, we talk easy."
    "I have been teaching her."
    "Teach more."
    "Yeah Ivan. Teach me more."
    "Женись на ней."
    "I say I like you."
    "I said me too."
    "Oh! Are we all set?"
    "Yes. I put in car now. No forget in morning."
    "Cool. Thank you again Vey."
    "Lets go work."
    "No crying! Come on."
    "Night Vey."
    "Night Leez."

    How exciting! A pretty new dress! And for free! Vey is awesome! Happy face! When it comes to this Argentine Tango, Sean is kind of a dick. Now I see what Rye was saying when she told me Sean will work me hard. I'm getting him back when we start on my Foxtrot. Watch! You'll see.
    "My bad."
    "I have no idea how else to explain it to you Liz."
    "It's hard for me to turn that direction fast like that."
    "No idea."
    "I think you're making it harder on yourself than it really is. Let's try it this way. Stop one count ahead of me and my extra count I'll turn you. One count ahead, plant your foot, and I'll do the rest. See if that works."
    "Okay… Ah!"
    "It worked in my head. Do it by yourself. Let me see what's going on."
    "I can do it alone."
    "What's the problem then? If you can do it alone, you can do it in hold."
    "Okay! Couple more times by myself, then with you."
    "All right."
    "My count isn't off right?"
    "No. You have it right."
    "Okay, with you now… Damn it!"
    "What foot are you turning on?"
    "My right."
    "Left Liz. Not your right. Again."
    "Stop being mean! Sad face!"
    "I'm sorry."
    "Left not right."
    "Left gives you more space when you turn. Turn on your right foot and you hit me. You should know this."
    "I know! I'm just tired and getting irritated. Sorry."
    "Yeah, I know."
    "It's almost two Sean!"
    "I know. Let's get this turn down and go to bed."
    "Left not right."
    "AH! I did it!"
    "Mmm hmm. Now, right leg. Front, back, front."
    "Twist while I do it right?"
    "Yes... Nice."
    "Yes. Front, back, front, and then I do this..."
    "That hard?"
    "Was it too hard?"
    "A little bit."
    "Sorry… Better?"
    "Okay. Right leg in front of me turn your body as you do it."
    "Half turn."
    "Yes. Try not to move your left foot so much. Keep it planted as good as you can."
    "So I'm just leaning like this?"
    "As soon as your foot hit the ground, arm up like this. 1-2-3-4-5-6"
    "4-5 is you, boom, boom. 6 boom, arm."
    "Mmm hmm."
    "Okay, all together then bed."
    "What? That was perfect."
    "One more time. But let’s turn so I can watch in the mirror."
    "Ooo! I like it."
    "Good. I'm done. Tired."
    "Yeah. I don't even feel like taking a shower."
    "Quick in and out shower. Come on."
    "Rub my feet in bed?"
    "What about mine?"
    "You rub mine, I rub yours."

    The water jets in Sean's shower! Heaven! His shower upstairs should be like this one. Magic bed! Eee!
    "We need to get you a passport in the next few days."
    "You're going to Russia with me on my birthday."
    "Oh. Okay."
    "You think your mom will let you go?"
    "Yeah. Your birthday is still a few weeks away. I just need to tell her a head of time. Like I need to tell her tomorrow."
    "My mom is in love with you."
    "Is she really?"
    "Yes. We were talking about you downstairs."
    "I knew it! What were you guys saying?"
    "When you told her thank you and gave her a hug she said, marry her. I love her. Then when you said, yeah Ivan teach me more, she said marry her again."
    "What did you say?"
    "To soon and no."
    "Did that upset her?"
    "It probably did."
    "Aww! You okay? You look deep in thought."
    "If our relationship is still this strong or even stronger when we go to Russia, will you marry me? Not for competitions. But because you want to be with me. Dancing aside."
    "You come before dancing Sean. What made you change your mind about this?"
    "I just want to be with you. We pretty much live together, you've gone into my kitchen and cooked food for me and shit. And you can cook! I was impressed. You cleaned my room, my kitchen, did dishes, my clothes. I didn't even ask you to do any of it, you just did it on your own. I pretty much know what it like to live with you and I like it. I've already seen the best and the worst of you and I'm completely fine with it. You asked me what I wanted for my birthday, this is what I want."
    "You clean and stuff too. Not just me."
    "I was raised to pick up after myself and to take out the trash and all that. I don't believe everything I just said is strictly woman's work. It's 50/50. I been thinking about it all day. You had a really bad day, and all I wanted to do was make you feel better."
    "All you have to do is be here for me and I feel better. No one can calm me down like you can. Not even my mom. I know I need you. I think you can fix me."
    "I want to help you through this. I can't take back what happen to your dad and I can't make you forget what you saw. There's nothing I can do, but here for you. I didn't like seeing you like I did today. It fucked with me more than you think."
    "Today is the worse you'll ever see me. So yeah. You've seen me at my best and worst."
    "And it doesn't bother me. Seeing you hurting does. But you know what I mean."
    "Help fix me Sean."
    "Marry me. Because it's me. Not for dance."
    "You will always come before dance."
    "Marry me then."
    "Okay... I'll marry you."
    "Yes. I know what I want for my birthday."
    "For you to marry me here."
    "I love you Sean."
    "I love you too."
    "Do I get a pretty ring?"
    "If you want one."
    "Can we get one this weekend?"
    "Thank you for wanting to help me through all of this. Means a lot."
    "Why are you crying?"
    "No one has ever cared so much. Well, my mom does. But she's my mom so she doesn't count."
    "I didn't know I would care so much."
    "Yeah. It's weird how it happens huh? Just jumps up and socks you in the face."
    "I'm tired."
    "Sleep now?"
    "Yeah. Hold me?"

    Just hold on to me Love. Don't let me go.