Chapter Sixteen - Just Friends

Saturday, June 13


    Things are not weird between me and Liz. I thought I was going to wake up today and things were going to be different. I was dreading it. We ended up having sex again before going to sleep, then again when we woke up. Well, when Liz woke me up with my dick in her mouth. Then one more time when she asked me to take a shower with her. Shit is different between us. In a very good way. But! She did tell me she wants to try and fix the issues her and Devin have right now. That conversation happen after we had sex the first time and were laying in bed together. I'm positive that's what made me think things were going to be different. In a bad way that is. I have no idea what she wants to do with Devin, and I'm not asking her. This is their business and they need to figure it out on their own.

    "I'm starting to hate those legs of yours."
    "I'm sorry! It's your fault!"
    "Mine?! You're the one kneeing me! If it's not in the dick, it's in the stomach."
    "We got it down Sean. I don't knee you every time."
    "This is why we're doing this section over and oven until you stop kneeing me in the dick. It hurts."
    "Ow! What the fuck!?"
    "Every time you knee me, I'm going to flick you in the tit just like that."
    "That was mean! And it hurt. You got my nipple."
    "I know. Bet you don't knee me in the dick anymore."
    "How about we go buy you a cup?"
    "How about you watch your knees?"

    That laugh and that smile. I love it.

    "Come here."
    "What's with you doing that?"
    "I like your nose. Can I bite it?"
    "Bite my nose?"
    "Uh huh!"
    "Okay… Not hard!"
    "I won't! Rawr!"

    Strange. I liked it!

    "Boop again! Ah! Don't drop me!"
    "I will not ever drop you."
    "Okay. I'm having fun."
    "That's not my phone ringing."
    "Yeah. It's my sister. Whoa!"
    "Oh my god! Don't even act like you're gonna drop me. That's mean!"
    "Still having fun?"
    "I need to get my phone. On the couch with you!"
    "Sad face!"
    "I will!"
    "Tissue in the bathroom."
    "To lazy."

    I don't think I have ever really been around a girl like Liz. Most of the girls I've been around, minus my sister and Emily. They are all pretty much stuck up and bitchy. Liz is just fun. I can talk shit to her and she doesn't get offended. I love her personality, the way she's a free spirit. She's very down to earth and real. I just love everything about her.

    "Are you busy?"
    "Not this second."
    "We need a favor."
    "Who's we?"
    "Me, Scott, Hayden…"
    "Yeah okay. What do you need?"
    "Somehow, me and Hayden forgot to get charcoal. Bring us a bag."
    "Are you being serious? That's a three-hour drive."
    "That's why I'm calling you! There's no stores close to here."
    "Go find some sticks."
    "Nothing is dead enough to burn around here. We looked already."
    "I'm busy today Rye."
    "So! Take a break. Bring Elizabeth with you hang out a bit. Devin wants to see her."
    "Fucking kidding me? Hold on!"
    "Don't yell!"
    "Shut up. Liz?"
    "Do you feel like going out where Devin and them are? They need me to take something to them and Devin wants you to go with me."
    "Is there a place to swim?"
    "Yes. They're at a lake. Waterfall to jump off of too."
    "Ooo! Yeah! My house first so I can grab my swim suit."
    "It's a three-hour drive."
    "So! Let's go!"
    "All right. If you guys need anything else just text me."
    "That's all we need."

    Now I have the sad face. I don't feel like driving way out there. I want to stay here with Liz. Just me and Liz.

    "I'm going upstairs real fast to change and we can get… What are you doing?"
    "Right here in front of me?"
    "Yeah. Why not?"
    "You're making me want to take you right there on the couch."
    "Come get it then."
    "I would! But I don't think your boyfriend would like his girlfriend showing up prefilled with another guy's cum."
    "Good point! You can't have this jay right now! Go away."
    "Let me lick it."
    "Are you sure you wanna lick this?"
    "I'm positive I want to."
    "Come get it then."

    Well! Looks like Devin is getting his girlfriend prefilled with my cum. Apparently me and Liz can't just mess around.


    My mom thinks I went camping. We get to my house and her car is there and I freak the fuck out! I told Sean we need to get the hell out of here! I wanted to get my swim suit! Sad face!

    "I thought my mom would be at work. On the weekends she works during the day so she has the nights off."
    "Why didn't you tell your mom you didn't go camping?"
    "No idea!"
    "What if shit was different and you couldn't stay at my house?"
    "I'd be screwed."
    "I'd let you stay either way."
    "Stop giving me a hard time! You're so mean."
    "If I'm so mean, why did I spend $50 on a swimsuit for you?"
    "It's so cute! Thank you!"
    "You're welcome."
    "Now to the grocery store right?"
    "I'm hungry."
    "So am I. Let's get what we need at the store first and on the way out of town we'll go to a drive thru get something."
    "Sounds good to..."
    "Did you just fart?"
    "NO! It was my stomach!"
    "I don't believe you."
    "I announce my farts. Trust me, it was my stomach."
    "You fart. Such a lady."
    "Everyone farts. Even girls."
    "Yeah, but they don't do it for everyone to hear."
    "I whisper in my panties and sometimes it's a scream."

    I have never heard Sean laugh so hard! I had no idea I was funny. I lied! I know I'm funny.

    "That was funny! Made my side hurt."
    "I laughed and some of you came out."
    "That's so bad! I should of wore a condom."
    "Maybe if I just go ER! And squeeze it'll all come out."
    "Try that and see if it works."
    "I might fart."
    "Buy some douche then."
    "Save money and use someone's hose."
    "They would come out of their housing thinking, why does this girl have our hose in her snatch."
    "Laughing works. Make me laugh."
    "Tell me something funny that happen to you or someone you know."
    "Okay. Cole was messing around with Heather. She was sucking his dick, and when he came in her mouth and she puked on him. Blaine too, and everyone else she's sucked off. Including Devin."
    "Devin told me he got puked on. I didn't know it was Heather. That's not funny. Try again."
    "Last year Blaine shit his pants during a football game."

    That worked!

    "Did he really?!"
    "Yeah! He was sick, and he doesn't like missing any games. He got tackled and the poop just came out."
    "Oh my god! That's great!"
    "Shit happens."
    "Vagina all clear?"
    "A little more yeah! You said douche?"
    "You seriously want douche? I was joking."
    "Porn stars use it between scenes to clean out their jays."
    "I hate buying condoms and you want me to buy you douche."
    "Give me the money and I'll buy it."
    "I don't have any cash. Just my bank card."
    "ATM at the store. Get $20 out."
    "You're buying me douche."
    "I can honestly say that's the weirdest thing I've bought a girl."
    "Stop laughing at me!"
    "You're laughing too! I am laughing with you."
    "I'm upset I won't be able to kiss you all day."
    "Think about how I feel having to see you and Devin all over each other all day."
    "Me and Devin don't really hang all over each other. Me and you are hanging on each other more than me and him ever did."
    "Why is that odd?"
    "When him and Heath first got together they were all over each other all the time and they didn't care who saw."
    "I guess me and Devin haven't spent that much time together since we been a couple. The most we were all over each other was at Nitro."
    "Have me and you hung out more than you and Devin?"
    "Alone, yes. First day we hung out at his parent's house. Second day was at Nitro, third day he had to work and I spent the day with you, and yesterday was with you. Yeah! Me and you have spent more time together. And had more sex."
    "I've had more sex with you than your own boyfriend?"
    "In less than 24 hours too."
    "Horny bitch."
    "It takes two to Tango Beanstalk."
    "Shut up."
    "How may times have you two had sex?"
    "Four. How many girls have you slept with?"
    "Including me?"
    "All from school?"
    "Two from school."
    "Me and Emily?"
    "How many boys?"
    "Only one. What about you?"
    "Four boys and four girls."
    "So... You actually get down with girls? You do everything with them?"
    "Yeah. I love girls. A lot. Where are the other girls from?"
    "You go there a lot?"
    "A few times a year. Mostly during school breaks."
    "I wanna go."
    "If you were my girlfriend I'd take you with me."
    "What's it like there?"
    "I don't know. Cooler weather."
    "Yes. I can't stand it here during the summer."
    "What's winter like there?"
    "Cold and snowy. Let's get in here and get your douche and go."

    I can't believe I'm buying douche right now. I don't even know if me and Devin will end up doing anything to be honest. I have never used this crap before. I hope there's instructions in the box like tampons.

    "Need anything else besides vagina cleaner?"
    "No, just vagina cleaner. Oh! I want this! It's my Vanilla Cupcake but in lotion."
    "$20 enough for both?"
    "Yeah. Wait! No, I'll be $2.56 short."
    "You figured that out fucking fast."
    "I'm a math genius."
    "Give me the vanilla cupcake lotion. You buy the douche."
    "No, I don't need it."
    "Do you want it?"
    "Yes, but I don't need it."
    "Give it to me."
    "Thank you."
    "You're welcome."
    "I hope this box has instructions in it."
    "It's not self explanatory?"
    "Stick it in and squeeze the bottle?"
    "Are you asking me?"
    "I don't have a vagina. I don't fucking know."
    "Ill figure it out. Instead of a drive thru can we go in and order? So I can use the bathroom to change and stuff?"
    "Yes. Are we good to go? Or are you still deciding what kind to get?"
    "We're good to go."

    I was in luck! There was instructions in the box. And yeah, it was self explanatory. It was weird and I didn't like it. Not only did Sean buy me a super cute swim suit, he bought me a cute top, shorts, a bra, and matching panties. He spent a lot of money on me today. Honestly, I'm little bit uncomfortable. I don't really like people spending a lot of money on me. It just makes me feel a little weird. Ooo! Food!

    "I feel weird because you spent so much money on me."
    "You spent a lot! I should have my own money and not be mooching off people. You know?"
    "I got you want you needed. Please don't feel weird."
    "I feel like I took advantage of you because I picked out expensive things."
    "It's fine. Don't feel weird. Please."
    "Are you 100% sure it's fine? Not a problem, and you won't get in trouble?"
    "Why would I get in trouble for spending my own money?"
    "It's not your parents money?"
    "You feel weird because you thought I was spending my parents money?"
    "Yes. You still spent a lot Sean."
    "You needed it, and I wanted to get it for you. Stop feeling weird."
    "For a kiss I will."
    "Hurry before the light changes."

    I feel better now! Happy face!

    "Thank you for everything."
    "You're welcome."
    "Especially the douche."
    "Was it refreshing?"
    "It was weird as fuck and I didn't like it! Oh my god! Stop laughing at me!"
    "I can't help it! I'm sorry."
    "I do feel like my jay is super clean."
    "I bet it is."
    "Shut up."
    "That's going to stay with me forever."
    "Buying me douche?"
    "What if I needed tampons?"
    "I'd give you the money and make you get them yourself."
    "Good thing I only need them four times a year. Two if I get the big box."
    "I have my period every three months and not every month."
    "The birth control I'm on."
    "Oh. Interesting... I have a question. Not about douche or you bleeding."
    "If Emily wanted to mess around, would you get mad?"
    "I don't... Yes. I would be mad."
    "Why? We aren't a couple."
    "I don't wanna share you with another girl."
    "Even if you fix things with Devin? You.... You are going to fix things with Devin and still have sex with me, and get mad if I mess around with someone else? How is that fair?"
    "I'm not fixing things with Devin."
    "Um... I thought you wanted to?"
    "I do. But honestly I don't think I can. He says he's okay with all of this. That's a lie. He said he won't be mad or jealous, but he is. I love Devin... I don't know! Fixing this will require me to do things I don't want to do Sean. And, I don't want to be with someone who is as jealous as he is and someone who doesn't trust me. I have never cheated on a boyfriend, ever! Having sex with you, for some reason didn't feel like I was cheating... The pieces my mom told me about are clear now and I don't see Devin in any of them."
    "Who do you see?"
    "Only you."
    "Um... I... What?"
    "Turns out you satisfy both the dancer and goofball in me. I can be myself around you and you don't care that I'm fucking weird."
    "You're fun. I can talk shit to you and you don't care."
    "That's what I'm talking about Sean! I'm a very sarcastic person. You know when I'm being real and when I'm not. I love the way me and you fit."
    "Are you leaving Devin for me? Is that what you're saying?"
    "I don't know."
    "Stop getting my hopes up and then ripping them away. Just come out with it."
    "I'm still gonna talk to him Sean. Like I said, he'll want me to do things I just won't do."
    "Just say it Liz."
    "Yes, what?"
    "Yes, I am leaving him for you."
    "Was that so hard?"
    "I'm not dumping him today."
    "I'm not asking you to."
    "I know."
    "You're worth the wait."
    "Will you hurt me?"
    "No. Not intentionally."
    "Do you have a temper?"
    "No. Not really."
    "Will you yell at me and make me cry?"
    "I would never yell at you and make you cry."
    "You know. The popular crowd will want me to bring you to the dark side."
    "The dark side?"
    "I was head cheerleader, dance queen, with the quarter back boyfriend at my old school Sean. I know all about the dark side. Everyone hated me."
    "Most popular kids are hated. What can you do?"
    "I never done shit to anyone! They just didn't like me! Fucker hats!"
    "Fucker hats. The only person who will hate you is the one who already hates you."
    "Fuck her. How many guys will hit on me in the dark side?"
    "No one."
    "Don't lie."
    "I'm not. We don't hit on each other's girlfriends, and we don't pass our girlfriends around like everyone thinks. Heather was the only one who's been around. Okay Beanstalk. Dark side 101."
    "Let's hear it."
    "Hailey! She's bi, and so is Piper. Cole has fucked Piper and Blaine has fucked Hailey. They both have had threesomes with the girls too. They only get passed back and forth between Cole and Blaine. No one else."
    "Melissa kicked Hailey. It was fucking awesome!"
    "Cole was bragging about it."
    "About his girlfriend getting crane kicked?"
    "Yes. Melissa doesn't do shit like that EVER! He thought it was fucking cool."
    "Melissa is so tiny! It was fucking funny."
    "Get this! Hailey was proud of Melissa."
    "No shit! She was showing off the bruise on her chest and proudly saying, Melissa Toledo did this."
    "That's so awesome! So, she's not mad at Melissa?"
    "No! She even told Melissa she was proud of her, and she said sorry and whatever. No hard feelings at all."
    "The dark side doesn't sound so bad."
    "The only real idiot is Blaine."
    "And you think he's cute."
    "He fucking is! Have you not looked at the guy?"
    "Yes. He's fucking cute. Why did he start the Easy Melissy?"
    "She wouldn't have sex with him, and then she got pregnant by... By someone and he just started calling her that."
    "By someone?"
    "Do you know?"
    "Do you?"
    "Me, Emily, and Jacob are the only ones who know."
    "Who is it?"
    "I can't tell you."
    "Jeremy Tunell. There!"
    "She told you?"
    "Who told you?"
    "If I tell you, you can't say a word to no one."
    "I won't."
    "Mr. Avalon."
    "Really? He can lose his job for that."
    "He can also lose his job for having a relationship with a student."
    "Yeah... Wait!"
    "He didn't tell me because I was a random kid asking."
    "You... Whoa! You and Mr. Avalon? For real?"
    "Yeah. Don't tell anyone! He's good at his job."
    "I won't say shit. Does he look good naked?"
    "Oh my god!"
    "Come on! Tell me."
    "Yeah! He's not bad."
    "How is he in bed?"
    "Very rough. He made me bleed every time."
    "Really? I don't make you bleed."
    "He does. Me and Devin kind of tested it. Normal sex, I don't bleed. Rough, kinky fun fucking sex, I bleed. Devin felt so bad."
    "Good to know. No rough sex with you."
    "No! I like it rough sometimes."
    "I don't want you to bleed everywhere."
    "I don't bleed a lot. It's like pink, not red. And if you hurt me I'll let you know."
    "I told you my biggest secret. Your turn!"
    "You know it. I like boys and I've taken it in the ass a time or two."
    "Okay. Something else then!"
    "All right. Not a word to anyone! I got Emily pregnant about nine months ago."
    "Holy shit!"
    "Yeah. I also paid for the abortion she had."
    "Condoms Sean."
    "We didn't use one, one time and she got pregnant."
    "One time is all it takes."
    "Now we know each other's biggest secrets. Feel any different about me?"
    "Nope. Still like you just the same. What about me?"
    "Mr. Avalon is one of my man crushes. I'm jealous you got to see him naked and shit. But no, I feel exactly the same."
    "Cool. Siblings! Rye the only one?"
    "Yep. You have one on the way."
    "Yeah! I can't wait either!"
    "You want kids?"
    "Yeah. You?"
    "I want kids. Not anytime soon. But I do want one or two."
    "Not ten?"
    "Fuck no!"
    "Okay! I got a good question."
    "All right."
    "Will you be okay with me messing around with girls?"
    "Yes. One condition!"
    "I can mess around with guys."
    "I don't like to share."
    "Good. I'm not into the whole threesome thing."
    "Me and Melissa?"
    "Oh! I'd do that one."
    "I want her so bad! She wants my legs around her head and vise versa! Mmm!"
    "You get down with Melissa you have to tell me how good it is."
    "I'll tell you what, I won't wash my face or my hands and you can just sniff away."
    "Even better! Look what happen."
    "My shorts."
    "Sean has a boner!"
    "Suck it for me."
    "I've come to the conclusion that me and you can't fuck around. We end up having sex."
    "I figured that out too."
    "Use your hand and let me watch, and when you're about to cum tell me and I'll make sure there's no mess."
    "Only if you let me watch you play with yourself."

    That was awesome!


    I should be in a really good mood right now because my lady is comin' out here. But I'm not. I got a text from Heather with a picture of Liz and Sean. He apparently bought her over $100 worth of clothes. Panties too! What the fuck?! And why!?

    "It's just a picture man. And Heather sayin' shit. Sean could've been buying himself somethin'."
    "In the fuckin' woman section Jacob?"
    "He could wear panties! We don't fuckin' know."
    "I'm fuckin' pissed dude. Look at my hands shakin'."
    "Relax. Ask her when she gets here."
    "Yeah. I don't wanna make her mad."
    "Go ask Ode what to do."
    "Hell no! I'll tell him what's goin' on he'll butt in and ask her himself."
    "Someone needs to. What about Sean's sister? Ask her."
    "She won't tell me shit. I asked her if Liz knew about Sean not bein' gay and all she said was, Oh! I don't know."
    "Liz knows man. She's known all along."
    "Who the fuck told you that?!"
    "Melissa. Don't you dare fuckin' tell her I told you."
    "What else did she say?"
    "You really wanna know?"
    "Just fuckin' say it dude."
    "Sean likes to sniff Liz when she's sweaty and she let's him."
    "She fuckin' let's him?!"
    "She likes it."
    "She fuckin' around with him. What the fuck?"
    "I don't think him smellin' her is fuckin' around."
    "I need to talk to Ode.

    I hate being the last to know about shit! Especially if it's about Liz.

    "I need to talk to you."
    "Then talk."
    "Alone Ode!"
    "The fuck is your problem!?"
    "Kid looks like he wants to rip someone's head off."
    "Fuck you Scott!"
    "Ooo! His big boy voice!"
    "All right! Fuckin' chill the fuck out. Move woman."

    This is probably a bad idea talkin' to Ode.

    "What's the problem Dev?"
    "This text from Heather."
    "He bought her clothes. So?"
    "Fuckin' ask her! Not me! I don't know."
    "Sean isn't gay. Liz has known this whole time and she never said fuckin' anything to me."
    "If you think that girl is messin' around on you, leave her now before it gets any fuckin' deeper."
    "I don't think she is. Do you smell Hayden?"
    "All the fuckin' time. She smells good."
    "No. Do you smell her when she's all sweaty. Like after sex?"
    "No. I smell her during sex while she's sweaty. Why?"
    "Sean likes to smell Liz when she's all sweaty and she lets him."
    "I don't know what to tell you on that. Maybe he's just fuckin' weird."
    "She lets him because she likes it."
    "Start smellin' her after sex then."
    "You're no fuckin' help dude."
    "Talk to Hayd. Not Rye. She won't tell you shit about Sean."
    "I need to get my balls and just fuckin' talk to Liz."
    "That too. Speakin' of! Look who just got here."
    "I'm scared now."
    "Just fuckin' talk to her Dev."
    "What if she leaves me?"
    "Then she leaves you."
    "Try to make compromises with her. Work the shit out. If you can't fix what's broken then throw it away. Walk away as friends. I fuckin' like Blondie. Salvage what you two have left and walk away as friends, that way you still have the girl in your life. Does that help?"
    "You're to damn jealous, you can't help it. Blondie has already seen it and she don't fuckin' like it."
    "I know."
    "I'm sorry Dev."

    The famous brother hug and the kiss on the top of my head. Fuck you guys! That's my brother!

    "Aww! How cute! Where's my hug?"
    "Come here Blondie!"
    "Happy face!"
    "I'm goin' back to my wife now."
    "Kiss me you!"
    "Please explain this."
    "Sean bought himself some swim trunks, and I saw a few things I thought were cute, and he bought them for me."
    "It's not his job Liz. Why didn't you tell me about Sean not being gay? You known all along and never said anything."
    "You weren't okay with it when you thought he was gay. I just didn't want to make it worse."
    "Not tellin' me made it worse Liz."
    "You weren't going to tell me Rye told you about him."
    "Fuckin' Jacob!"
    "He told me not to tell you that he told me."
    "I'm trying so hard to keep you happy and eatin' at me so bad."
    "I know."
    "You realize that you spent more time with Sean in the last few days than you have with me all week?"
    "I can't handle that Liz."
    "I'm sorry."
    "Why does he smell you?"
    "Weird habit. He says the more I smell tells him how hard I've been working. He smells shoes, but I don't wear shoes when I'm dancing so he smells me."
    "And you let him?"
    "And you like it?"
    "Are you and Sean messin' around?"
    "I can't keep any promises I made you Liz. Ode said, if I want to keep you in my life to salvage what we have left and walk away from this relationship as friends. I'm way to fuckin' jealous and any compromises I want, you won't be okay with."
    "Yeah. I been thinking a lot about all this Devin. I don't think we can fix this. I do love you, and I hate seeing you like this. All blah! I love seeing you all happy and all smiles. Honestly, I think if we tried to fix this, it'll just ruin us for good. I don't what that to happen. I want you in my life, even if it's just friends. I need you in my life, you're like me! We're both weird ass fuck and into cars and shit. Not to mention you're cool as hell, funny as fuck, and just a riot to be around. If we can't do this as a couple, then please let us do it as friends. I'm with Oden on this."
    "Sadly, so am I."
    "Don't cry Tortillo Boy!"
    "I can't help it! I tried Liz. I really did."
    "Come here! I love you Devin."
    "I love you too. Can I still touch your legs from time to time? Please?"
    "Yes. Now gimme Kiss."

    I kissed her and just walked away. Damn it! I really did try. I guess I tried to hard, or not hard enough.

    "You okay?"
    "Ode told me what he told you to do."
    "Me and Liz both agreed this is better. There's no way we could have fixed this."
    "Friends is better than nothing Devin. We all like Blondie a lot and none of us want to see her go."
    "She's not goin' anywhere. We both want to be in each other life. This was mutual. This is better for us. I love her and she loves me. Last thing I want is for her to hate me because I was jealous."
    "So you two are okay?"
    "Yeah! I mean we are both a little bit hurt right now. But I think once we get home everything will be fine. I hope it will be anyway."
    "I'm sure it will be. Come here you shit! Give me hugs! I love you too Devin."
    "You smell so fuckin' good!"
    "Oh god! Get off me now."
    "I love you too Hayden."
    "Of course you do! Everyone loves me."
    "Where the fuck is my kiss?"
    "Cheek okay?"
    "Yes please... Woooo!"
    "Better now?"
    "What the fuck?… Ode just tossed Blondie in the lake."
    "Looks like all the girls are swimming. BYE!"

    All the girls are nice and wet. I like it! Ode and Scott are cookin' something that's smellin' fuckin' good! Jacob is doin' Jacob! Smokin' a blunt. And Sean is just sittin' there. Doin' nothin'! At all!

    "Hey. You didn't come over here to kick my ass or some shit right?"
    "What's the deal with you and Liz?"
    "Nothing at all."
    "Why do you smell her?"
    "Who said that?"
    "Liz told Melissa, Melissa told Jacob."
    "Is that your way of hittin' on her?"
    "No. I smell everyone I dance with."
    "Liz said the more she smells is the harder she's been workin' or some shit."
    "Yeah. Look, I didn't mean to cause all this shit with you two. I'm sorry."
    "No. It wasn't you. She could've been dancin' with any dude and I'd still be right here in this spot. I'm jealous as fuck and Liz is fuckin' hard-headed. I fuckin' love her and I want to keep her in my life and she wants me in hers. Breaking up and walking away as friends was the better option here. She's all yours if you want her."
    "What makes you think I want her? Because I bought her clothes?"
    "No. The way you look at her and the way you busted open your boyfriends face for her."
    "She told you about that?"
    "Yeah. Why didn't you tell her he called her a home wrecker?"
    "Um... I didn't want her feelings to get hurt."
    "I don't think it would've hurt her feelings. She probably would've knocked his ass out."
    "He was really rude to her and she told him that she was going to sock him in the mouth if he didn't shut the fuck up."
    "She fuckin' would of!"
    "Hey... Are you still into Em?"
    "I guess. Why?"
    "Me and her brother broke up. Me and her aren't playing couple anymore. She likes you more than you think."
    "Are you tryin' to set me up?"
    "I'm only saying. That's all."
    "How do you know she likes me?"
    "She taught me how to do your fingering thing and she makes me do it to her all the fucking time. Even says, finger me like Devin."
    "That's fuckin' funny."
    "She was actually pretty upset when you two stopped messing around. She cried. Told me you guys never fucked and shit. She wanted more than just, you know. Fingers."
    "Right arm."
    "I'm not fucking with you right now. The magic fingers made her fall for you. I love Em and I want her to be happy. Seems like she would be with you."
    "I've wanted her for a long time. Before Heather even showed up. She wasn't lyin' to you. We never had sex, she was pretty loyal to you even though you guys weren't exactly a couple. She felt like it would be wrong if we did. You know?"
    "Yeah. She's a fucking good woman."
    "Are you into Liz at all?"
    "Yeah. She's fucking cool. Most girls I hang around are stuck up and shit. Liz is... I do like her a lot. I won't lie about that."
    "You should try and get her to suck your pee pee."
    "Your dick."
    "Oh. Why?"
    "Just try. You'll thank me later."
    "Um... Okay."
    "You guys ready to eat?"
    "Your wife don't eat meat Ode."
    "Plenty of grass for her to munch on."
    "That's fucked up."
    "You need weed, talk to your sister. This guy right here will hook you up. Same shit I get, same price. Good?"
    "Yes. Thanks."
    "Munchies! Food! Now!"
    "Thanks for sharin' that blunt dude."

    I see Liz about to do something fucked up!

    "AH! Cold woman! What the fuck?"
    "Melissa! Did you just see what your boyfriend did? He reached around with both hands and grabbed both cheeks!"
    "Damn Liz! Melissa was right about that ass bein' as nice as those legs."
    "Told you Babe."
    "Devin's turn!"
    "No! No! Don't sit on my lap! Pee pee shrinkin'."
    "Here's a towel Liz."
    "Thank you!"
    "Milly, your sister eat fish?"
    "No. She's vegan. She eats crap."
    "We need to get your wife back on the cow Ode."
    "Yeah! No shit. Hayd!"
    "You're eatin' this hamburger."
    "I don't eat meat."
    "Eat this cow damn it!"
    "The only meat I eat is the meat in your pants."
    "The fuck you eat then woman?"
    "Give her the box the beer came in."
    "I brought my own food. I'm fine. I'll eat the box for dessert."
    "Fuckin' Hayden!"
    "You should lay of the meat to Handsome."
    "You fuckin' kiddin' me? I'm Mexican! I need my cow and my pig."
    "Lengua and Chicharrones!"
    "Pastor and Elote! Mmm!"
    "Now Dev is talkin'!"
    "Rye, what do you Russians eat?"
    "I fuckin' hate goat!"
    "You have to know how to cook it. Our dad can make a killer Kazakh Shashlik."
    "It's lamb with sautéed onions and pomegranate juice."
    "Now that sounds good."
    "Scott has had it before. He like it."
    "I did?"
    "Yes. Senior year in high school. My dad wanted to meet you and you came for dinner to meet him."
    "WAIT! Was that before or after you flipped your dad's tractor?"
    "After! You still owe me fifty bucks for that shit Ode."
    "You can flip a tractor?"
    "It was funny as fuck Blondie. The four of us were drunk and Scott was going on and on about how easy it is to pop a wheelie on a tractor. Ode was like, no you fuckin' can't! Scott got in the fuckin' thing and flipped it! Woke his dad up and he came outside yelling at all of us."
    "He made us all clean up horse poop the next day hung over."
    "Aww! Bein' sick as fuck from drinkin' all night then havin' to scoop horse shit! No bueno!"
    "Fuck you guys! I had to do it the rest of the week. You got one day."
    "We did some dumb shit back in the day."
    "Should we let these guys in on what we used to do to this kid?"
    "Oh please no!"
    "Naw. Hand me a beer Dev. In that cooler right there."
    "This one?"
    "Yeah. Dev?"
    "…What Ode?"
    "Hand me a beer. In that cooler right there."
    "I fuckin' hate you dude."
    "He fuckin' knew it was comin' and he still fuckin' said, what Ode! Come on Kid! You should know better by now that Ode is a fuckin' dick!"
    "You still do that to him Oden?"
    "Some things never change Rye."

    Good food, good company. Even though Ode was bein' a dick I had a good time. Even with Liz. She sat next to me the whole time and even gave me a kiss when she left. Sean is gonna tell Emily to give me a call next time he talks to her. The magic fingers! Nice!


    My break up with Devin was okay. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. We both knew we couldn't fix this and Oden was completely right. End it and walk away as friends so we still have each other in our lives. I love Devin and I want him in my life. No one got super hurt, I'm happy about that. I really am.

    "You okay? You're pretty quiet over there."
    "Just thinking. I'm so happy that no one got hurt today. Well, it did hurt a little bit. Our break up was good though. You know?"
    "Yeah. You guys did it right. Ended it before it completely ruined your friendship."
    "Devin said I could have you."
    "Yes. Said, she's free if you want her. Then said I should try to get you to suck my dick, that I would thank him later."
    "Oh my god!"
    "Would you be upset if I had Emily call him? She's actually really into him."
    "No! Not at all, go for it."
    "Yeah! Devin is a great guy, and he deserves to be happy. Have her call him."
    "Okay. Um..."
    "Can I have you?"
    "You already have me Sean."
    "Officially? Or is it too soon to say we are?"
    "What do you want?"
    "You. I'm asking if it's to soon."
    "Well, we already had sex. I guess we are official."
    "You guess? Just give me a straight answer."
    "Boop! I booped my boyfriend’s nose!"
    "I'll take that as a straight answer!"
    "Boop again! Call Emily."
    "Right now?"
    "Yeah! Speaker! Call."

    Emily is super cute! And if she's really into Devin like Sean said, then they should hook up. They make a cute ass couple.

    "Hey Sean."
    "Hey. Question."
    "What's up Chuck?"
    "Are you still into Devin?"
    "Um… Yeah! Why?"
    "Call him."
    "I am not calling him! He's with Liz."
    "They broke up."
    "What? What happen?"
    "I happen."
    "You did not break them up did you?"
    "No. Devin doesn't like me and Liz hanging out so much, and they both agreed to end things and just be friends."
    "So it was mutual?"
    "Will Liz be fine with me calling him?"
    "Call him Emily!"
    "Yes. Call him! I'm completely fine with it. I swear."
    "Liz told me to call you. It was her idea, and! I talked to Devin today and he's still into you and I told him next time we talked I'd have you call."
    "Call him!"
    "What's going on with you two?"
    "Devin said I could have Liz if I wanted her."
    "I got her."
    "Awesome! We are kind of like... Swapping girlfriends. Everyone is okay with this?"
    "Okay! I'll call him. Does he have the same number?"
    "Hold on, let me see if it's the same one I have in my phone. 1215! Yep! Okay, I'll give him call here in a few minutes."
    "Mouth closed about me and Liz for right now please."
    "Of course!"
    "Call him Emily!"
    "I am Liz!"
    "Bye you two."

    We totally just swapped girlfriends! Is that weird?

    "We are swapping girlfriends like she said."
    "Not really. I wasn't exactly dating Emily. Okay! Kind of."
    "I hope it works out."
    "It will. Devin has wanted Emily for years."
    "Yeah. They both really like each other."
    "That's cool."
    "You're okay with this?"
    "Don't lie to me."
    "I'm not! Devin deserves to be with someone and be happy."
    "I work this weekend. You want to come with me?"
    "Will you get in trouble?"
    "No. I teach at my mom's dance studio."
    "Yeah. My mom won't care if you came with me. You could help me and even get paid."
    "What do you teach and what age?"
    "Eight to ten years old and I teach them basic Ballet."
    "All girls?"
    "No. It's a small group, about fifteen kids. Seven boys and the rest are girls."
    "I'm down! But double check with your mom for me please."
    "I will."
    "There's actually a second reason I asked you to come with me."
    "First, are you good with little kids?"
    "Yeah. I taught a little bit at Novak."
    "Okay... There's a little girl in the class. Seven years old and she's struggling. I've put her up front and I've tried to work with her separately, having her mom bring her in early or stay a little bit later. I can't seem to really get through to her. She's really shy. I want you to try and help her. Maybe a girl teaching her will help."
    "Okay. What's her name?"
    "Cora. She cries because she's struggling."
    "Aww! Sean!"
    "I know! Help her for me."
    "I'll try."
    "Thank you."
    "You're welcome. Are we going to work on our Rumba at all when we get back?"
    "If you want to."
    "If you want to."


    Ode and Scott made a huge fire for one reason! To throw firecrackers in the fuckin' thing. One flew out and hit Hayden's car, she's pissed, one hit Jacob. He's not pissed. No tents on fire yet. YET! Oh! My phone is ringin'! Liz! No... Who the fuck is this?

    "It's Emily dumbass."
    "Oh! Word up girl?"
    "Nothing. Liz told me to call you."
    "Yeah. I guess Sean told her he told you he's going to have me call or something, to see if she was okay with it. Then she got on the phone and was like, call him Emily! I called."
    "Right arm. Sean told me you miss the magic fingers."
    "Oh! I'm kicking Sean's ass."
    "What's up?"
    "Nothing. What are you up to?"
    "Oh! You're not even in town right now."
    "Nope. Sad?"
    "A little bit."
    "I'll be home tomorrow night."
    "What time?"
    "I don't know."
    "Can I come by?"
    "Yeah. The fingers! They're happy!"
    "Shut your mouth!"
    "I want more than just fingers this time Devin."
    "You want the pee pee?"
    "I'll give you the pee pee."
    "What happen with you and Liz?"
    "Issues we couldn't fix. We decided it was better to be friends."
    "Sean said you told him he could have her."
    "Yeah. He can give you somethin' I can't."
    "Which is?"
    "I can't dance. Apparently she lives for it."
    "Ah! I see."
    "He has a thing for her too. Told me himself. He smacked up your brother for her."
    "Are you okay if they end up together Devin? Like, really okay?"
    "Yeah. I love her, and I want her to be happy."
    "Shut your hole."
    "I can think of a great way for you to shut my hole."
    "Tomorrow! And you get the buy condoms."
    "I have some. We're good to go."
    "I've missed you Devin. I don't know why you even stayed with fucking Heather for so long."
    "Because you wouldn't leave your fake boyfriend and be with me."
    "Really? You stayed in the fucked up relationship so you wouldn't be single?"
    "Pretty much. Dumb right?"
    "Yeah. Is the offer still open?"
    "First I need to see if the sex is good."
    "Oh fuck you!"
    "Will you do all the work from time to time?"
    "Okay! Then yes! The offer still stands."
    "What did you do?"
    "My phone is dyin'. I'll give you call tomorrow when I get back to town."
    "Okay. Save my number!"
    "I will."
    "What now?!"
    "I've missed you too."
    "I'll see you tomorrow Devin."

    Quick text to Liz before my phone... No!

    "I need your keys! Phone died!"
    "The keys are in the truck."
    "Right arm!"
    "The keys are in the truck."
    "Fuckin' hate you Scott!"
    "Fuck you too Ode."
    "That was fuckin' great!"
    "Fuck all of ya!"
    "Even me?"
    "No Rye. You got a cute little nose."
    "Thank you."
    "And me!"
    "You smell good."
    "Nope! You said, wow!"

    Might as well just call Liz since I got some power.

    "Hey you!"
    "Word up girl?"
    "Thank you for having Emily call me."
    "You're welcome."
    "Are you okay with this?"
    "Yes. You deserve to be happy Devin! Hook it up! Fuck that jay!"
    "I will!"
    "Be happy Tortillo Boy."
    "I will be. I need to get off here. I'm plugged into Scott’s truck wastin' battery."
    "Love you."
    "I love you too Devin."
    "Later Gator."

    I still rather have Liz, but Emily is hot as shit too!

    "Who where you talkin' to?"
    "Your mom."
    "Fuck you."
    "I was talkin' to Emily. Liz told her to call me."
    "She hooked you up! Fuckin' aye! Liz is cool."
    "I'd still rather have Liz."
    "You had her! You still have her man. Ode was right. It's better this way. Leave it alone."
    "Emily doesn't suck the pee pee like Liz."
    "Will she puke on you?"
    "No. She gets down and swallows."
    "That's good enough."
    "She wants the pee pee and a relationship to go with it."
    "You don't want her?"
    "I wanted her years ago."
    "Then get it."
    "I am. And she'll smoke weed with me."
    "She smokes weed?"
    "Yeah. She's a big ass pot head head like us."
    "Nice. Sean and Liz together now?"
    "I don't think so. Emily asked if I'd be okay if they hooked up."
    "Will you?"
    "Yeah. I told Sean he could have her."
    "Why? He was the fuckin' problem man."
    "No he wasn't. I was. Don't matter who she was dancing with. I'd still be right here in this spot."
    "It'll be different with Emily. We known each other longer, know each other better. We got history. We can handle each other better I guess."
    "Emily is fuckin' cute."
    "I know."
    "You're cool with the fact Sean fucked her?"
    "Dude... Me and Emily messed around and then she went straight to his house for his pee pee. I gave her fingers and he gave her pee pee."
    "You and Sean basically swapped girls."
    "Holy shit! We did huh!?"
    "That's fuckin' great!"
    "I wonder if Ode will give me my condoms back."
    "I doubt it. Go buy some and stop bein' cheap."
    "Liz ruined me. I don't like condoms anymore."
    "Then don't use one."
    "Emily isn't on birth control."
    "Then use one."


    Liz… Mmm... I got what I wanted. Her. I can't really believe how easy it was. Her and Devin ended things nicely too. No hard feelings, no hurt feelings, and he's okay with me and Liz being together. Turned out good.

    "Come on! We got it Sean."
    "You want this perfect right?"
    "Are we good?"
    "No dick hits all night. We got it."
    "Oh my god! I told you that hours ago!"
    "Come here."
    "Kiss me!"
    "I was going to."
    "I had fun today. I really, really am happy me and Devin ended things the way we did."
    "I actually am too. I could see how much you two cared about each other."
    "You're happy we broke up."
    "A little bit. Sorry."
    "I think we'll work better. You're not jealous are you?"
    "No. Just don't go cheating on me."
    "I won't. I told you already, having sex with you was the first time I ever cheated. All this Lizzyness is only for you."
    "You have any videos of your parents dancing?"
    "Can I see?"
    "Yes. Oh! Um… My mom took your photo book to Russia with her to show my dad."
    "She'll bring it back right?"
    "Yes. I forgot to tell you. Sorry."
    "And ask."
    "I'm sorry."
    "It's fine. As long as she brings it back is all that matters."
    "She will, and if she somehow forgets it there, my dad will mail it."
    "Okay. Videos!"
    "What do you want see?"
    "A good one."
    "Their Tangos are really good."
    "Show me a Tango then."
    "Okay. Here's one that's about three months old."
    "Very traditional."
    "Yeah. Everything they do is."
    "I wanna dance with your dad."
    "If you ask him he will."
    "Cool. He never smiles."
    "I know. He's a pretty serious dancer."
    "How did they meet?"
    "They were paired up. That turned into a relationship, then turned into marriage."
    "That's awesome. Hey long they been married for?"
    "Like twenty-three years. They got married when my mom found out she was pregnant with Rye."
    "That's cool. Boop!"
    "Танцуй со мной."
    "Dance with me."
    "We been dancing all night."
    "We been working all night. Let's just… dance."
    "Okay. Put something on and lead your woman."

    Simple dancing turned into make out, then into neck biting and other shit.

    "Mmm! Why'd you stop?"
    "Come shower with me and let's lay down. It's almost two."
    "Down here again?"
    "Yeah. I like it down here."
    "You want something to wear?"
    "Would I be wearing what you give me at all?"
    "Then come on. Shower."
    "Undress me."

    Shower sex. It's always good, and Liz is tall so I don't have to squat when she bends over. I can just stand there and do my thing. It's nice. Shower didn't do it for her this time. She let me know instead of faking it. That's good, I guess. The bed on the other hand, did do it for her.

    "Do you think your dad will like me?"
    "Yes. My mom likes you, and not just because we dance together. I asked her. She'll be even more happy to know we're a couple."
    "Cool. I'm glad she likes me. The way you made it sound the other day was like she only liked me because I dance with you."
    "She said I need to teach you Russian."
    "Teach me then!"
    "If you want to learn a little bit I have no problem teaching you."
    "Mmm hmm. What's Танцуй со мной?"
    "I don't know."
    "I said it to you tonight."
    "Dance with me?"
    "Tasty so moy. Don't laugh."
    "Tantsuy so mnoy"
    "Happy face! How do you say, hello?"
    "Hello is a hard one. Okay... Draw with a Z in front and roll the R like in Spanish."
    "Chest without the S."
    "Mmm hmm."
    "Say my last name."
    "Leebn... Uh! I can spell it!"
    "Spell it."
    "L... I..."
    "Oh! Le Bed In Sky! I can remember that. Le-bed-ske!"
    "No. Lib-eh-je-ski."
    "There's no J in there!"
    "It's Russian! And trust me I can say my own name."
    "I'll forget again."
    "I'm sure you will."
    "Shut up. Did you tell your mom about the Classics this year?"
    "Yes. She's getting all the information and stuff we need when she get's home."
    "Awesome. Be ready to work till you wanna puke."
    "I'm ready."
    "They want you to send in a video with three dances with the application."
    "Yeah. And the three dances will be three of nine we do there."
    "Holy shit."
    "You've seen the Classics. You know there's three rounds of three dances."
    "I know. Most competitions I done are three rounds five dances total."
    "Only Latin. Classics is hard work. REALLY HARD! So like I said, be ready to work till you wanna puke."
    "I want to already."
    "We'll sit down and figure out what dances we wanna do when your mom gets all the paperwork for us. Dibs on the Paso!"
    "Dibs on the Argentine Tango."
    "Dibs on the Foxtrot."
    "Dibs on the Viennese Waltz. I'm looking forward to doing a Foxtrot with you. They are really good."
    "Go to sleep."
    "Boop again."