Thursday, June 11
I am not a fan of stayin' out all fuckin' night. Especially when I have to get up and work in the mornin'. Ode is fuckin' insane doin' this shit every day. 6am to 3am. He needs to slow the fuck down before he kills himself. Even back in High School Ode had some place to be and something to do. So was I, but I have responsibilities these days, and not as much energy as I had back then. I just want sleep. Oh! I recognize this car. Are you fuckin' kidding me?
"What are you doin' here Rye?"
"I talked to Hayden. She told me that you weren't planning to call me at all. So, here I am."
"What do you want?"
"Talk. Explain myself."
"I honestly don't even wanna fuckin' hear it."
"Just let me talk Scott."
"Why? You been gone this whole time, the second you get back to town you come to me hopin' everything will be fine. It don't fuckin' work like that."
"I've been back for about nine months. I been hiding out at my parent's house trying to think of a way to come talk to you. The best thing I could think of was an oil change. You know damn well I know how to change my own oil. You taught me!"
"Fine. Ten minutes. Talk, then I'm goin' to bed."
"First, I need to show you something."
She lifts up her shirt to show me her back. There was just enough light to see the two long scars down it. Aw, man.
"What happen to you?"
"The guy I was engaged to. I wasn't really engaged to him. I just agreed to it. At first he was just a friend. I honestly thought he was gay like most of the men at Cosmetology School are. We hung out a lot and this one night we got super drunk, one thing led to another, and we ended up having sex. The next morning when I woke up, my purse was gone, he was gone, so I got up and went to leave. The front door was locked with one of those locks that lock on the inside with a key. He lives on the fifth floor of this building so none of the windows opened. They do open! But his didn't. I was stuck. The only time I was allowed to leave was when I had class and when we needed groceries."
"Why didn't you just run like hell when you were outside?"
"I did! How do you think I got the scars I showed you."
"How did you get out?"
"I got help from another man. He was my friend before this guy came along. But he noticed something different about me. He asked me what was wrong when I was alone, and I told him everything. I told him I want to go home transfer and finish my shit in Monterey and get back to you. So, he came up with a plan, like right there on the spot. The next day he left the spare key to his car and some money in his glove box for me. Got into it real good with the other guy and they both got arrested. I finished up my class for the day, got in my friends car. Like he said, key and money in the glove box. I drove to the bus satiation and here I am."
"I talked to you damn near every day. Why didn't you tell me? Or even hint at it? You know I would of came and got you."
"He was always right there monitoring my calls. There wasn't much I could do or say. I was terrified of him."
"We have a safe word Rye."
"He knows it. We were friends! We talked! I couldn’t say “red tea” in front of him Scott."
"That's why you agreed to marry the guy? Because you were scared?"
"Yes. Look, I have no excuse for cheating on you. I can't take that back. All I can do is say I'm sorry and hope one day you can forgive me."
"I'm goin' to bed Rye."
"Where are goin'?"
"Home. You just said you were going to bed."
"You're not comin' upstairs with me? You rather go home?"
"I'll stay if that's what you really want."
"Dat is what I really want."
"All these years and you still have the need to make fun of my accent."
"Are you stayin' or not Rye?"
Who the fuck am I kidding? I can't stay the fuck away from this beautiful Russian girl.
(Later that day)
I need a break from this. My need to have everything single little detail perfect. All the way down to my pinky toe. My mind is a little cloudy today, can't concentrate for shit. I just need a little break, I need some weed. Gave Oden a quick call he should call back in a while. Right now let just roll the last of what I got and watch the waves. Solitude. That is until my sister yells down the stairs in Russian.
"Ivan? You down there?"
Sean is the English version of my name. I'm named after my dad, so Sean makes things easier when he's home and not away working.
"What are you doing?"
"Well don't hurt yourself."
"Where did you get off to last night? I came home and your car was gone."
"I went to see Scott. By the way! Thanks for giving Hayden my number."
"You're welcome. Did Scott give it to you nice and good last night?"
"I thought so."
"No, we just slept. Him and Oden had something to take care of and by time he got home he just wanted to go to bed."
"Shit went down at Nitro last night."
"Scott told me. He got to put his gun in someone's face."
"Mmm hmm. She took Oden's money from last night and they went to get it back."
"So… You guys okay? Did you tell him everything and show him your back?"
"Yeah. I think we're okay. He asked me to stay with him, but at the same time I don't really know. I guess we'll see."
"Yeah. So tell me about... Blondie? Hayden said you and her were dancing together most of the night and you guys looked awesome together."
"Oh. For a second I was thinking who the fuck is Blondie. Her name is Liz. She's my dance partner in school. She joined, and I got paired with her. Actually happy about it too. I don't need to help teach this year I get to do my own thing. Kind of."
"Is she good?"
"Yeah. Amazing actually. Teacher wants everyone to come up with a Jive this week, and I was prepared to do all the work and teach her. But it didn't work out like that. She came up with chorography in less than an hour and she was teaching me. I was thinking what the fuck? Turns out! Liz is an eight time Latin Ballroom champion. Top it all off she's hot as fuck and has these legs that just go on and on."
"Nice. How long has she been dancing for?"
"Since she was four."
"Holy crap! I can't wait to see her dance."
"What I seen so far, she's fucking good Rye. I been waiting a long time for a partner like her. She knows what she's doing."
"You guys are matched perfectly. You're a six time champion."
"She thought I was gay. Heard me on the phone with Travis and I was just like, shit! Don't tell anyone I just
said I love you and shit to another guy. But I set her straight last night and told her I'm not gay. Just happen to be with a guy at the moment."
"Are you attracted to her?"
"You have no fucking idea. She asked me if I was too. I told her no, I think you're cute is all."
"Why did you tell her no for?"
"Her boyfriend is Devin Hart."
"Oh! Don't mess with those Hart girls, even if it's just Devin."
"I know. Like I said, I been waiting a long time for someone like her. I told her no because I don't want shit to get weird between us."
"It'll just be weird for you."
"No. I'm good."
"Yep... For now... I've been attracted to her since she came here. But I never talked to her or hung out with her or anything like that. Now that I have and I've been getting to know her more… I don't know Rye."
"Oh, you want her bad. Don't hide it."
"I fucking do! What the hell do I do? Help me out here."
"I don't know. Me, I would just leave it alone and let it play out. Good things come to those who wait."
"Suck it up and wait?"
"Or jump right in and risk fucking everything up. It's your call."
"I'll suck it up and wait."
"Good call. Go find yourself a nice Russian girl."
"We are the only Russian family in this shit town. Find me a Russian girl. Fuck you."
"Go online. Russian Singles dot com."
"Mail order Russian bride. 100% guaranteed to love you."
"There you go! Or groom, whatever makes you happy."
"I may take one of each."
"Whatever makes you happy Ivan."
My sister is probably the only one I can talk to and not get judged for the shit I do. Same goes for her. She talks to me about things and I don't judge her. We grew up in a conservative home. Strict, wealthy parents. Both of our parents are dance instructors. Our mom teaches here and half of the year my dad is in Moscow teaching, and the other half is spent here teaching. That's how me and Rye got into dancing. Two parents who dance that have little kids, we had to go with them to their studios. Eventually we joined in to pass time. Rye doesn't dance anymore. She hung up her dance shoes when she met Scott. Close to six years ago, and it's not what she wanted to do her whole life. Growing up our parents entered us in various compositions as partners. Five time champion with her and one with a different partner. It was actually great having her as a partner, because we didn't have to gain each others trust and build chemistry. It was already there. Down fall. Am what you would call an intense dancer. I think outside the box and push the rules. Certain things that came to mind that I wanted to do, I just couldn't do with my sister. Basically, everything we did was boring and traditional. That's how our parents are though. Traditional. They are not fans of modern elements being brought into a traditional dance. Me as a dancer I want to grow and I like bringing those elements in to create something I can call mine. That's one main reason why I like Liz. She thinks traditional is boring. She likes to bring in those elements as well to create something she can call her own. I do believe we are perfectly matched like Rye said. But the big question I have, is she an intense dancer like me? Will she allow me to choreograph something that can possibly piss off Devin to no end? My thought is, if he thinks I'm gay then I can do what I want. Straight from Liz's mouth, he's okay with us dancing because he thinks I'm gay. I'm thinking about this to much. I need to make a phone call.
"Hey Melissa. I need a favor."
"Of course. What's up?"
"Do you by any chance have Liz's number?"
"I do. You need it?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Okay. Would you stop that! Sorry. Hold on one second."
"If you're busy, and it kind of sounds like you are. You can just text it to me."
"Okay. Give me a minute and I'll text it."
The beautiful Melissa. Friend zoned years ago. I thank Hayden for that.
"Suck on that boobie all you want, ain't no milk gonna come out."
"You don't like boobie sucks?"
"I like suckin' on yours."
"I have to pee."
"Damn it Liz. Why do you go and get me all hard and then leave to go piss? So evil."
"We need to get up anyway. It's after one."
"Is it really? Fuck! I had shit to do for Ode today."
"And I have shit at home I need to do. I have three missed calls from my mom, so I need to get home soon."
"Okay. I'll drop you off at your house so you can do what you need to and I'll go do what I need to for Ode and we'll hang out later. Sound like a plan?"
"Yeah. Come shower with me."
"Can I watch you pee?"
"Why not?! You saw me piss."
"No! I was standing there, and you just pulled it out a took a piss. My issue is, I don't want you to see me wipe."
"I've seen you wipe shit that's worse than piss my lady."
"You have a point! Eh! Whatever! Come on Tortillo Boy."
Bad idea! That was weird and super uncomfortable! Never ever again is Devin watching me pee. He can watch me wipe away his cum. That is all that he's going to get!
"My clothes and shoes! Yay! Happy Face!"
"Ode told me that Scott was sure those are your shoes."
"They are. Will Oden get mad if you called him?"
"Call him for me so I can say thank you."
"Here. You call him while I go destroy my toilet."
Fight the urge to be nosy Lizzy! Don't go though Devin's pho… Heather's number is still in here? And text from her too! He didn't reply to any of them. Hmm? Ode, and call!
"The fuck you want Dev?"
"Fuck! Hello to you too! Grumpy ass."
"Sorry Blondie. Everything okay?"
"Yes. Just wanted to call you and say thank you for getting my clothes and stuff back. I hope it wasn't to much trouble."
"None at all. You're welcome."
I hear the bathroom door open and I turn to Devin and hold up one finger to my mouth. Speaker on! This will be fun.
"So, what are you wearing?"
"What are you wearing?"
"The kind I wear to work."
"Your brother is no fun Devin. Here."
"Word up girl!?"
"Blondie is crazy."
"I heard that!"
"She's just fuckin' with you dude."
Devin laughs. Good!
"Why did you do that to him?"
"I thought it would be fun."
"He knows when he's on speaker. He says my phone has a weird echo when it's on."
"Aw! Why is Heather's number still in your phone?"
"Haven't got around to deleting it. You could've done it if you wanted to. I wouldn't have got mad."
"There's text messages from her too."
"You went through my text messages?"
"I didn't open them! I just looked. I promise."
"I have nothin' to hide Liz. She's been callin' and shit wanting me to get back with her."
"Relax! I am not ever gettin' back with her."
"No! She's pregnant! I can't kick her ass."
"Kick her ass like you did Kim?"
"That was fun. But I can’t kick Heather’s ass for trying to steal my Tortillo Boy! Sad face!"
"Oh. Look, deleted. Text messages, deleted. Happy face?"
I don't like that! Heather wanting Devin back. He's mine now! She can go find her own Mexican.
"Mommy! Where are you!?"
"Bathroom! Getting out of the shower!"
This would be a good time to snag my mom's storage locker key out of her drawer. I can have Devin take me to get some of my dance things out of it. I want to surprise my mom. I don't just want to tell her I'm dancing again. I want to prove to her I still love it as much as I use to.
"What are you doing Lizzy?"
Think Lizzy think!
"I left my charger in Devin's car. I just came in to plug in my phone."
"Okay. Have a good time at the movies last night?"
"Yes. Sorry I didn't call you back this morning. Well, I did. You got a missed call."
"It's fine Lizzy. Now go. I need to get ready for work. I started soaking the dishes and all the laundry is separated sitting by the washer ready to go for you."
"Thank you! I'm gonna hang out with Devin later today. Is that okay?"
"It's fine. Just make sure all your chores are done before you leave please."
"I will. Thank you much mom."
The dishes are done, bathroom, living room, my room are all tidy, and the last load of clothes are in the dryer! Now what do I do? Oh! I can answer my phone that's ringing. It's my Tortillo Boy!
"Word up girl!"
"Waiting for clothes to dry."
"Change of plans. Scott needs me to stay here and help him with somethin'. I have no idea when we'll be done."
"Aw! I wanted your help with something."
"My dance stuff in my mom's storage. I snagged the key and I want to go get a few things."
"Call Melissa. She'll take you."
My phone is beeping! Who's number is this?
"Devin, hold on one second someone is calling me."
"Yes. Who is this?"
"Sean. Melissa gave me your number."
"Oh! Um... Can I call you back in about five minutes? I'm talking to Devin on the other line."
"Cool! Talk you in a bit."
Whoa! He sounds sexy as shit on the phone! That accent of his! Meow!
"You still there?"
"Yep. Your other boyfriend callin' you?"
"It was Sean."
"Ah, your girlfriend."
"Storage! Call Melissa."
"Well the thing is, I don't want to bring my things here because I haven't told my mom I signed up for dance. I want to surprise her. I wanted to maybe leave it at your place."
"You can come get my house key and shit. How much stuff is there?"
"A lot actually. But I'm not grabbing everything. There's six boxes I know of that I want to grab for sure."
"So Melissa will have to use Hayden's car?"
"Call her and see what's up. If she can't do it I'll borrow Scott's truck and take you on Saturday. I work tomorrow so I won't be able to do it."
"I can wait until Saturday."
"You wanna do that then?"
"Okay. I need to get off here. I just wanted to call and let you know what's up. I call you later and see what's going on."
Bored! Oh! I told Sean I'd call him back. Let's go ahead and do that.
"You actually called me back."
"I said I would. So! Sup?"
"You're not mad at Melissa for giving me your number right?"
"Not at all. We should've exchanged numbers the other day."
"Yeah. Uh... Are you busy at all today?"
"Not really. Me and Devin were gonna hang out, but he got called into work. I'm just sitting here waiting for clothes to dry."
"Would he get mad if you came to my house and hung out for a while? You know, work on these knees of mine."
"I don't think so. He's fine with us dancing together."
"Yeah... But will he be mad that you'll be at my house?"
"Probably not. Do you want me to ask him? Will that make you feel better?"
"Okay. Hold on, let me send him a text."
Quick text to Devin, followed by his quick reply. He's cool with it! Yay! No more bored Lizzy! Let's go dance.
"He said, that's fine, that I don't have a dick so he doesn't have shit to worry about. But I can't leave until these clothes are dry, folded, and put away."
"Okay. I'll text you directions and you can come when you're finished."
"Oh… I don't drive."
"I'll go get you. Where do you live?"
"Next door to Blaine."
"That apartment thing right there right?"
"Okay. Text me when you're done and I'll head over."
"You can come now. There's only like ten minutes left on the dryer and it doesn't take me long to fold clothes."
"All right, which one do you live in?"
"The first one. Not the two story."
"I'll head that way in a few minutes. I have a few things to do here real fast."
"Are you making fun of me?"
"No. Say, that, again."
"One more time!"
"You're no fun! Bye!"
It's cool that Devin is okay with me hanging out at Sean's house. Should be fun, I always have fun dancing. Am I the only one who lies on the piles of fresh clothes before folding them? I think it's the static I like. Music on! Let's fold some clothes. Music makes everything go faster it seems. Okay! Checklist time! Dishes washed and put away? Check! Bathroom clean? Check! Living room? Check a roo! Laundry washed, folded, and put away? Big fat ass check! Made them chores my bitch! What? Now! Let's go grab some comfy dancing clothes and I'll be good to go. After I answer my phone.
"Queen Elizabeth here. How may I help you today sir?"
"I'm pulling in now."
"Okay. Park in the first empty spot and come in. The front door is unlocked."
"I can do that."
"I'm going to start making fun of the way you talk."
"I don't think you can."
He hung up on me! How mean! Well, he got me to shut up.
"Hi. Thanks for hanging up on it. It was super nice of you."
I love his accent! Stop it Lizzy! But it's sexy. Stop! It's deep and sexy! Devin has a deep voice too. But he doesn't have an accent like Sean. Leave it alone dumb ass. Fine! Stupid voices.
"Give me one minute to grab some clothes to change into and we can get going."
"What was dat?"
"Serious!? You're making me mad. I don't like that shit."
Fight it Lizzy! Don't do it!
"I'm sorry! Please don't get mad! I like your accent, it's super sexy and shit. I'm not making fun! I promise."
"You know what Liz?"
"I'm not making fun!"
"Let me finish."
"I just wanted to see you sweat a little bit."
"You're mean! I was for real starting to feel all bad and shit."
"The way I talk is super sexy and shit huh?"
"Don't judge me."
"Judge you? Why would I do that? That! Would be rude of me to do. You know, if I did that. I could judge you. Would you like... That?"
"I hate you so much right now."
"Okay! Stop it now! Oh my god."
"Stop it now. Oh my god."
"That was funny!"
"You liked that?"
"Yeah. I did like dat."
"Yeah. Let me see how much money I have real fast. I'm hungry."
"If you're hungry we can go somewhere and I'll get you something to eat. Keep your money."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Let's go."
Good! I only have $5 and I need that for lunch tomorrow. Oh! Sean drives a truck!?
"I took my mom's storage key, I asked Devin to take me, but he can't until Saturday. I have my dance stuff in there and I want to grab a few things without her knowing. Can you take me?"
"Thank you! Food first though! I'm hungry."
I'm sad! Drivin' to Scott's without my legs on my lap. Long sexy legs. Get this lock, go change it, and then go get my legs. Easy peasy!
"Word up girl!"
"Yeah. Fuck you."
"Turn around and look at that beautiful piece of metal."
"How can we get this orange bitch goin' without Jacob knowin'?"
"Why don't you want him to know?"
"Talked to Ode, and he wants a mystery challenge."
"Sweet. Um... Okay! I got an idea. I haven't got high yet today, so it's a good one. Swap the frame and just leave all the body parts off. They been painted and ready to go, we can slap that shit on in what? Two? Three hours tops?"
"Yeah. I like that idea. Let's do this shit. Here's that lock, go change it and get the fuck back here. I want it done today before Jacob happens to come by and see it."
"I have plans with Liz."
"Call her and tell her I need you."
"Fuck dude! I don't wanna lie to her."
"You ain't fuckin' lyin' to her. You work for me. Sorry, but I need you in here today. Me and you can get this shit done faster than anyone else."
What is that behind Scott's ear? Oh!
And I get punched! Fuckin' hard too!
"The fuck Scott!"
"Shut the fuck up."
"I just said it's nice."
"I will punch your ass again."
Punched again! Even harder this time. He fucked Rye! Tryin' to tell Ode he wasn't gonna call her and shit.
"Shutting up! Fuck!"
"Go change that fuckin' lock. Hurry up."
"Yeah! Fuckin' dick."
Devin the big hole please step up. Hello! Phone, Ode, call.
"What's goin' on?"
"Scott fucked Rye last night, after sayin' he wasn't gonna call her."
"No he didn't."
"He has a fat ass hickey on his neck."
"That don't mean shit. I talked to him today, he told me she stayed the night with him, no sex. Just dick sucks and make outs. Stay the fuck out of his business Dev. You know he'll fuck you up and you know I'll let him."
"All I said was nice hickey, and he socked the shit out of me."
"You should fuckin' know better, dumb ass."
"Right! I'm not even high and I did that shit."
"Then you deserved it."
"Rye is hot. She has the cutest little nose."
"You're just askin' to get beat."
"Yeah. I need to shut my hole."
"I need to call my lady and let her know I have to work. Fuckin' Mustang."
"You change that lock?"
"I'm on my way right now."
Ode is right! I should've known better. Scott has always been like this. He doesn't really kiss and tell and he don't like people askin' him shit about his personal life. He's a private guy. I'm a little bit pissed right now. Sean called Liz and asked her to go hang out with him. Dance thing. I'm cool with them dancing and shit, but I'm not completely comfortable with her being at his house. He did kiss her last night. He likes dudes! The fuck is he kissin' my lady for? I don't wanna make Liz unhappy. I want her happy all the time. And I do trust her. I'm just gonna leave it alone for now. I ain't got shit to worry about. Yet.
I'm so happy that Sean said he would take me to my mom storage. I could've waited until Saturday, but then I was thinking about it and my mom is in her sock drawer every day! She would notice the key was gone. Nosy Lizzy time!
"How tall are you?"
"That would be? Six feet, two inches."
"Born here or in Russia?"
"Moscow. Family came here when I was six."
"Did you speak any English when you came here?"
"No. The only one who spoke English was my mom."
"Why did your family decide to move here?"
"My mom opened a dance studio here."
"You have a dance studio here in San Jose?"
"Oh! I'm from there. What's the name of it?"
"Lebedinsky Dance Studio."
"That's where you learned?"
"No. I went to Novak."
"Novak is good."
"Say something in Russian."
Oh! That was hot!
"What did you say?"
"You told me to say something. I said, something."
"Say something else. And not, something else."
"Hmm... Мне нравятся ваши ноги."
"I feel myself blushing. What did you say?"
"I like your legs."
"Thank you. So, you learned to dance from your mom?"
"Yes. My sister did too."
"That's cool that your sister dances too."
"She doesn't dance anymore."
"It's not something she wanted to do for the rest of her life."
"Is it what you want to do?"
"Yes. I like it."
"Why are most dancers Russian?"
"I don't know."
"You should know! You're Russian."
"I don't! Sorry."
I'm having fun with Sean! I'm getting to know him more. He's interesting. Which is super cool! Let's hope everything is still in order in my mom's storage. It is! Yay! Happy face!
"Okay, dance stuff... Ah! Here we are."
"This is funny."
"The labels on these garment bags."
"Those are all my clothes I had made."
"Come here and read the labels."
"Lebd... You own this place?"
"Yes. My parents do."
"It's really the only place in Monterey to get clothes. I'll admit too! I never once had one rip or anything bad happen to them. Great fucking quality!"
"My mom does shit right."
My box with all my trophies. Hello old friends.
"Come look at this box Sean. You'll enjoy it."
"You danced in the Seneca Classic?"
"Yeah. Won three years in a row."
"Was your partner David Novak?"
"Yes. How did you know that?"
"Holy shit! Why did I not put two and two together? I've seen you dance. I've seen you win! Your Foxtrots are amazing and your Paso's are fucking crazy as hell. But your Foxtrots... Wow. Seriously."
"What happen to this one?"
My broke and bent up trophy from the night my dad died. Seeing it made the tears come. I couldn't hold them back.
"That one is from the last Classics I did. On the way home me and my dad were hit by a drunk driver who ran a red light. The coroner lady found it on the side of the road. My dad died. I didn't"
"I'm sorry. Is that why you haven't danced in the Classics the last two years?"
"I stopped dancing all together. It broke my mom's heart. She always said, the most beautiful thing she ever saw was me dancing."
"She's right. You are beautiful when you dance."
"You said you wanted to surprise your mom right? You want to do it with a Jive?"
"No, not really. But it's what we have right now."
"Ms. Cooper is good at letting us do whatever we want. As long as the assignment is finished first. Our Jive is good. If I'm going to be part of this I don't want your mom to see a Jive."
"I want her to see something beautiful. Something from the heart that proves to her that I still love this as much as I did, and It's still something I want to do for the rest of my life."
"What do you have in mind?"
"My mom still watches her wedding video. My dad hired a chorographer to teach them a Rumba for their first dance. I wanna recreate that for her."
"Principle won't let us do a Rumba. It's to... He says, It's a sexual kind of dance and us kids shouldn't be doing it."
"Rumba? Sexual? No, it's a beautiful dance and it's one of my mom's favorites. Plus! Jim won't say no to me."
"Oh. How do you know he won't say no to you?"
"The ring on my mom's finger and the baby in her belly. All I have to do is tell him I just want to make her happy and he won't say no."
"Your mom and our principle are having a baby together. That's pretty cool."
"Okay, if you're sure he'll say yes, then we need to get a copy of that video."
"It's VHS! How do we do that?"
"I have a converter that copies VHS to DVD."
"How long does it take?"
"Depends. We don't have to put the whole video on a DVD. We can fast forward to the dance and then stop it after. How long is the dance you think?"
"Probably like two minutes."
"Okay. At the most, I would say about 20 minutes. How often does she watch it?"
"A few times a week."
"Would it be easier if I took it to your house and did it there? That way we don't have to rush it."
"Yeah. You think better than I do."
"I don't have blonde hair."
"Are we taking everything?"
"No. Those four boxes right there. The big ones. Are my shoes. I want those. This stuff here are my wraps, ballet stuff, and... A spider! Oh god!"
"Calm down. It won't hurt you."
"Get it, get it, get it!"
"Look, I got it. Better?"
"Thank you! I want the spider box."
"Would I need them?"
"I have these six boxes here and each of those garment bags have like seven outfits in them and there's like forty of those bags. There's five more boxes there I'm not grabbing because this stuff is going to Devin's house. Oh! And my trophy box."
"Let's take it all to my house. I have plenty room and no one will mess with it. It'll be with all my stuff."
"Yep. All the boxes, all the clothes, that way you don't have to steal your mom's key again if you need something else."
"Good point. Start loading these and I'll look and see if there's anything else, but I'm pretty sure this is everything."
Most of these boxes say Mathew on them. My dad's stuff. I found it! After all this time. A picture of me and my dad dancing. I'm standing on his feet.
"No. That's it. Look at this picture I found of me and my dad. My first dance ever!"
"How old were you?"
"Three. I also found this."
"What is it?"
"This whole thing is of you dancing?"
"Yeah. All the way up to my last Classics. Flip to the very back."
"Are these videos? Or just disks with these pictures?"
"Videos. LBC #1-#8 are the Latin Ballrooms I won and SC #1-#3 are the three Classics you saw."
"Can I watch these? I have videos of my competitions too. I'll let you watch those if I can watch these."
"Yeah! I wanna see what kind of dancer you are."
"They are mostly traditional style. Doesn't really show what type of dancer I really am."
"What kind are you?"
"Okay. My thing is Argentine Tangos."
"That's an intense dance to begin with."
"True, but when I choreograph one I do things like this..."
He got not even an inch from my face, his nose was touching my cheek, and mine was touching his. Almost kissing basically. His hold was normal, but then he lifted me, bent his knees, and I was on his lap. Female, me, arches her back, legs crossed, reaching back. Normally. Sean uncrossed my legs and made sure my right leg stayed straight. Male, Sean, will run his hand from my belly button to my bra line and back down. Normally! But what Sean did, he ran his hand from my knee, to the crotch, between my boobies, to the neck, and then my cheek and all the way back down the same way. It was intense all right! Fuck it was hot!
"Oh! I like it. A lot!"
"Facial expressions and simple details like a straight leg can make an intense dance even more intense."
"I think we're going to be fucking great together. My Foxtrots are so good because I use the intense details without taking away the class."
"I know. I've seen you dance."
"I like you Sean... Honestly, I been waiting for a really long time for someone like you. Two intense dancers! We'll be epic. And! You're not scared of lifts!"
"My partner has always been my sister. Even though it's just dancing, there was no way I could do something like that with my sister. You're okay with things like that?"
"Yeah. It's shit like this that make people say wow. Trust me, I know."
"What about Devin?"
"He's fine with us dancing. As long as he thinks you're gay, we can do whatever we want. I think he'll be fine with it. I hope he is! He better fucking be! He's the one who told me I should sign up for dance. He'll have to deal with it or just move on."
Oh! That hurt to say that! My Tortillo boy!
"Don't say shit like that Liz. You guys look happy together. All he has to do is trust you."
"He does trust me."
"Then everything will be fine. Are we done here?"
"To get to my house from here, we pass by yours. You want to stop and put your mom's key back?"
"Yeah. And I have to pee."
"Okay. What are we doing? Are we going to scrap the Jive and talk to Ms. Cooper tomorrow?"
"Should we ask Jim first? I have his number, we can call and ask, then talk to her tomorrow."
"I guess it doesn't matter."
"Okay. Let me give him a call before we take off."
"Give me the key and I'll close this."
Calling Jim, speaker on for Sean. Hey! Stop looking at him. Oh shit! He looked at you! Look away!
"Hey Jim. Bad time?"
"I did just walk in the door, but no. Not a bad time."
"First, do you know I signed up for dance?"
"I do. I saw it in your file today."
"Okay cool! Here's the thing. I haven't told my mom. Did you happen to say anything?"
"I have not."
"Good! Please don't."
"I will not say a word. Promise."
"I want to surprise her. I was paired with Sean Lebn... Leb..."
"Thank you! Anyway! I also told him I want to surprise her and how I hurt her after I stopped dancing when my dad died."
"Me and Sean both think that a Jive isn't good enough to prove to my mom that I still love dancing."
"Sean said that Ms. Cooper is fine with her students working on other dances as long as the assigned dance gets done first. We finished our Jive. But! Like I said it's not something I want to show my mom. The dance I have in mind, Sean said you won't allow her students to do."
"What dance do you have in mind?"
"My mom's first dance on her wedding video."
"Yes. My mom loves that dance. I... Me and Sean want to recreate it for her."
"I don't allow this dance because of the sexual content it tends to have."
"Not all of them are like that though. If it's done right, it's actually a very beautiful dance."
"You just said you wanted to recreate that one. Certain parts of that one are very sexual Elizabeth."
"Me and Sean can replace those parts with something else without losing the dance completely. Please Jim! I just want to make my mom happy. I broke her heart when I stopped dancing and I want to fix it. Help me. Please."
"All I want is for your mother to be happy too. And yes, she's talked about you dancing and how it in fact, it killed her when you didn't want to do it anymore. You boxed everything up and threw it in storage."
"It's not in storage anymore. I got it all out today. I'm serious about this Jim. Mr. Avalon said, I need to fix my mom. The parts I broke anyway, and dancing was the biggest one."
"Yes. It was... I'll tell you what Elizabeth. I will allow you and Mr. Lebedinsky do that Rumba..."
Does the happy dance! Sean wasn't impressed with it!
"…But! You need to change out those sexual parts. I've seen the video and off the top of my head I can think of three parts I do not want to see."
"Okay. Not sure which parts exactly but, the three of us can watch the dance and you can tell us which parts they are."
"That's fine. We can do that. Second, I want to see this dance before Ms. Cooper allows it."
"Last, you two need to talk to her and let her know what you want to do and why you want to do it and then have her come speak to me. I promise you two will be the couple who performs at next weeks rally. We can tell your mom your History class is doing something and you want her to come and watch. Okay?"
"Just please change out those few parts."
"We will Jim. Promise. Thank you so much, and please don't tell my mom."
"My lips are sealed."
"You're gonna be a cool dad."
"I hope so."
"Thank you Jim."
Does more happy dancing! Sean still isn't impressed! Fuck him! Happy face!
"I told you he wouldn't say no if I said I wanted to make my mom happy."
"You had your cry baby voice on and everything. Good call on that."
"Right! Okay, let's get back to my place and drop this key off. We'll do the video tomorrow and go to Jim's house since my mom works and won't be home until around ten. Then we can start working on it. Um… Since you're coming to my house to do the video can you give me a ride home after school? Devin has to work and I won't have a ride unless I ask Jacob."
"I think your blonde hair is changing colors."
"Nothing. I can do that."
"Thank you. For being part of this, and everything else. Storage and stuff."
Stop smiling at me! Eee! It's cute!
"You go watch the Classics every year?"
"First one I went to was the first time you won. Youngest couple to win that competition."
"Yeah! Twelve years old."
"Is David still doing them"
"No. The first year you weren't his partner, he took second place. Last year he took seventh."
"That's a big drop from the top."
"He's a good dancer and everything, but he had no clue how to lead. Good at learning steps and memorizing them, but it was always me leading him. When you watch those videos, watch me. I consistently talking to him throughout the dances."
"His family owns Novak. I know his mom is a good instructor. How the fuck does he not know how to lead?"
"He never took it seriously. It pissed me off."
"Me and you should the Classics this year."
"I would, but I don't have the $850 entry. My mom works hard and everything, but all her money goes to rent and other bills. We don't have money like we use to."
"I'll cover it all if you really want to do it."
"I can't ask you to do that Sean."
"My parents own four studios in Russia and two here. Money isn't an issue. If I told my mom I wanted to do this and you didn't have the money, she would give it to you herself. Plus, they are giving the winners a full scholarship to Mason Gross this year."
"I'm not! My mom gets all the flyers and shit."
"I want that scholarship Sean."
"So do I."
"They teach dance, how to teach chorography! How to te..."
"I know what they teach. Fucking everything."
"I want that scholarship Sean. I want it bad. I need money."
"I will cover you if your serious about doing it."
"Are you stinky ass rich?"
"Not a billionaire?"
"No. My family is worth about 90 million."
"That's stinky ass rich."
"I'm a broke ass. So, yeah! It is."
Michael pulled into the driveway right before we did. I kind of miss him. The sneaking around part. I don't know why.
"Some man candy for you."
"My neighbor. Mr. Avalon."
"Oh. He looks irritated."
"He probably is. You need to pee or anything?"
"Okay. I'll be back in a minute. Hi Michael!"
"Jeez! Someone must have had poop in their cereal this morning."
"Be back in a second."
Key is safe back in my mom's sock drawer. Now we pee! Uh? Did I grab everything earlier? Think. Yeah! I did. Good. Michael is outside smoking. Let's go and try to say hi again. I hold up one finger as I walk in front of Sean's truck. He gives me a simple smile back. God he's cute!
"Why are you lying to me?"
"I'm just a little bit tired Elizabeth. I haven't slept all that good the last few nights."
"Go take a nap."
"I can't. If I do I'll just be up all night. I'm just powering though right now hoping I'll actually sleep tonight."
"Still mad at me?"
"No. You're happy. That makes me happy. Who is this in the truck?"
"Sean. He's my dance partner."
"You signed up for dance?"
"Yeah. Taking your advice and trying to fix my mom."
"Don't tell her. Me and Sean have something special for her, and Jim is letting us dance at the rally next week."
"I won't say anything. Can't wait to see it."
"Next Friday! Well, I have to get going. I just wanted to come check on you. I do still care Michael...
Look at me. I still care about you. That didn't change."
"I'll be fine."
"Okay. I'll see you later."
Am I going to have to fix him too?
Why does this fuckin' Mustang have to be a slut right now? I'm about to smash this shit up more if it doesn't stop it!
"Come off you fuckin' whore!"
"Yellin' at it won't make it come off kid."
"This car is only like two years old and it's on it's way to bein' rusted. I should kick Jacob's ass for not takin' care of this fuckin' thing."
"Do we need to cut it off?"
"Done! Here, you try."
"Come on... Oh! Son of a bitch! Are you god damn kidding me!?"
"Yellin' at it won't make it come off Scott."
"I got it off. Fuckin' wrench pop off the bolt and I ripped my fingernail off."
That shit sucks! I've done it before.
"You want a tissue or a band-aid you cry baby."
"Look at this shit."
"Pull it the rest of the way off dude. Here, let me help."
"Dev! What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Here's your fingernail back. Cry baby."
"Finish this shit and get the new frame on. I need to go take care of this. Fuckin' bleedin' everywhere. Can you handle this shit by yourself?"
"I'll be back."
Fuckin' sissy. It's just a fingernail! The shit grows back. Why isn't this frame not comin' off when I lower this car? Oh! Don't be a bitch! The fuck! Scott didn't even take the fuckin' bolt out, just loosened it. Dick. I see girl feet!
"Hello under there."
"How are you?"
"I'm good. Nice hickey you left on Scott."
"Did you tell him that?"
"Did you learn your lesson?"
"Where is Scott?"
"Upstairs. He ripped his finger nail off and started cryin' like a little bitch."
"I see. What are you doing under there?"
"He's taking a nap! Don't let him lie to you Rye!"
"I'm not nappin'! You guys need to back up so I can lower this."
"What exactly are you doing to Jacob's car right now?"
"Switching the frame. Don't tell him it came in early. Scott has a master plan! So hole closed. Yours too."
"I don't know Jacob. What happen to his car?"
"Wrecked it racin'."
"Oh. Well, that kind of sucks. Do you remember when Scott flipped his dad's tractor after Oden said there's no way he could pop a wheelie?"
"Oh god! That was so long ago. Liam was fucking pissed. We did some dumb shit when we were younger."
"You guys blew up Ode's car after he finished the Charger."
"Does he still have his Charger?"
"Yeah. And that was Ode and Scott who blew it up Devin. Me and Rye just stood back and watched."
"Do they still do that? Blow shit up?"
"Not sure. Devin?"
"Yeah, they still blow shit up from time to time."
"Do you do stupid shit like Oden?"
"I do lawn jobs."
"We used to do that too!"
Drift in someone's front yard and fuck there shit all up. Lawn job! The shit is fuckin' fun. Look at Rye! Changin' the other tire for me. Scott taught this one the basics. It's a chick! It's hot.
"Why didn't Ode teach me anything like this? I have no idea how to change a tire. My sister, little ass Milly! She can even change one."
"Jacob taught her. And Ode never taught you because you never opened you hole and asked him. Stop your bitchin'."
"I met your girlfriend today. She's pretty."
"That box of trophies was impressive."
"Blondie had this box with her dance trophies in it."
"You're dating this girl and you don't know she dances?"
"I know she dances. I didn't know she had trophies and shit."
"She's an eight time Latin Ballroom champion and a
three time National champion through a competition called Seneca Classic. Sean introduced us, and I said, you look really familiar. Then Sean said, Elizabeth Sanders, think Seneca Classic. Turns out me and Sean have actually seen her win that competition three years in a row."
"What Rye is saying is, Blondie can fucking dance, and she has
eleven huge competition wins under her belt to fucking prove it."
"I didn't know she won shit. All I know is, she's been dancing since she was four years old."
"Show Devin the video on your phone that you showed me."
Whoa! Liz is hot as shit. I had no clue she was this fuckin' good.
Eleven time dance champ? I don't know shit about dancin', but is that good?
"She's awesome right!"
"There's more videos too. Just go to this website, then go to the archives, and search her name."
"Let me see your boo boo."
"I just got it to stop bleedin'. I'm not unwrapping it so you can see it Rye."
"What happen to your finger?"
"Ripped my fuckin' fingernail off on this fuckin' car."
"Shut your hole cry baby."
"What brings you two here?"
"Came to bug you."
"Me and Hayden are going out to dinner, and yes we did stop by to bug you."
"Look at this kid right here. Puttin' a frame on a car like a big boy."
"Fuck you dude. When is the drive line supposed to be here?"
"Me and you are gonna go pick it up tomorrow. How's it lookin'? Lining up and all that?"
"So far so good."
"Axel is over there in the trailer. When you get done with this put some tires on it and have it ready."
"The fuck did that get here?"
"My dad found it and dropped it off this mornin'. I canceled the order on the other one."
"Is it good?"
"Yeah. Came off a Boss that was rear-ended."
"Snag anything else off it?"
"Naw. It was already stripped to it's skibbies. My dad just got lucky."
"How much it cost him?"
"Right? Came up real good on that."
"Oh! I have a favor. Can I borrow your truck on Saturday? Liz needs to get some shit out of storage."
"We’re goin’ camping this weekend."
"Shit! That’s right."
"Sean took her."
"Yeah, me and Hayden helped them unload everything and put it away."
What the fuck?!
"Oh. Never mind dude. Guess she don't need my help after all."
"Why are you pissed Dev?"
"I'm not fuckin' pissed Scott! Fuck dude!"
"Are you sure? I know that look and that tone. Same shit when Ode pisses you off."
"You have nothing to worry about with my brother if that's why you're mad."
"I'm not mad. She didn't even call me to let me know he fuckin' took her."
"That's nothing to be mad at."
"Maybe she didn't call because she doesn't want to bug you at work. Don't get mad yet."
"Women are always right. Listen to em' and stop bein' all pissy."
"Women are not always right."
"Devin, listen to me and Rye. And yes! Women are always right."
"Even when we are wrong..."
"We're still right."
"Apparently the kid hasn't learned that shit yet."
"They are not fuckin' always right!"
"Okay. Hold on."
Hayden is callin' someone. Probably Ode to prove her point.
"You fu... You called my dad?! Are you serious!?"
"Rich, I have a question."
"Are women always right?"
"Yes. 100% wrong, full of shit, they are still right."
"See Devin. I told you."
"Listen to Hayden son. The quicker you learn that, the better off you'll be with them"
"Thank you Rich. That's all I needed to know."
"You fuckin' called my dad."
"You think I'd call Ode? He'd take your side just to fuck with me. Ode knows women are always right."
"I hate you guys."
Fuckin' Hayden! Fuck it! I'll listen to them. Chances are! They're right.
Sean's house is huge! His sister is hot and super nice. Best thing about Sean's house! He has a huge dance space in his basement. He also has all this music equipment. Apparently he mixes his own music for his dances. He never uses the original song, it's always remixed somehow. That's fucking cool. Another cool thing about Sean's house! One of the walls is a huge window with his pool on the other side. Like a big aquarium but without the fish. It's really cool! I could dance here every day. Plenty big, privacy, bathroom, little mini fridge, a T.V! Shit! I could live down here if I wanted.
"You should put fish in your pool."
"They would get sucked up in the filter and die."
"Same thing would happen."
"Are you afraid this window will break?"
"No. It's the same type of glass they use for the big aquariums. It won't break."
"I think it's cool. Needs fish though."
"We bought these little wind-up toys that swim around in water and tossed them in there one time. Guess what happen."
"They got sucked up and died?"
"Yep. Come here. I want to show you something."
"Is it porn?"
"Yes Liz. I'm going to show you my dildoe."
"Can I borrow it?"
"Do I look like someone who owns a dildoe?"
"I'm just fucking with you! I don't care about your dildoe."
"I don't own one."
"You own two?!"
"No! I own three!"
"Nice! I like talking shit to you and busting your balls. You're fun!"
"Fucking lucky I'm not the type of person who takes bullshit seriously. You'd be kicked out of my house and walking home by now. I look like I own a dildoe."
"I don't even own one! And you have three!"
"Made you laugh though!"
"What do you wanna show me?"
"You said you wanted to see what kind of dancer I am. I'm showing you."
"Ooo! Lemme see!"
"This is the last Argentine Tango I did last summer in Russia."
"Competition or fun?"
All he does is points up at his shelf with all his trophies on it. I see last year's date on one of them.
"Latin Ballroom Champ! Sean Lebn… Lebindski... Le..."
"Need help there?"
"How do you say it!"
"White it up for me."
"Eh, like bed without the B and D."
"Jet, without the T."
"There you go."
"I'll forget how to say it in an hour."
"I'm sure you will."
"Back to the dance. You said your sister was always your partner. This girl isn't her."
"I know. When my sister stopped dancing about five or so years ago I stopped doing competitions and started helping my mom at her studios. This girl here is one of the girls I taught with my mom. Look at the year gap on the last two trophies up there."
"I noticed. Your mom entered you in this one too? Like she did with you and your sister?"
"No... Yes. She didn't do it behind my back. I went to her and said I wanted to do it, and she entered us. Yes and no. Kind of."
"Press play! I wanna see."
I see what he means by a really intense dancer! Holy effin' shit! His facial expressions alone made this extremely hot. The girl doesn't look very comfortable. She has more of a sad face and not a serious face you're supposed to. But still! It was good enough to win.
"I wanna see it again!"
"You can take this disk home with you and watch it all you want. I want to show you what else I'm good at."
"An Argentine Tango to a Waltz?"
"Like you said with your Foxtrots. You use the intense details without losing the class."
His way of rise and fall is more like, I love you, I fucking hate you, I love you! Not your typical, I'm sad you have to go to work and Oh! You're home from work! No, no, no. It's fucking awesome!
"Your take on rise and fall is fucking brilliant!"
"This is actually the first time I ever created it this way. This Waltz right here. Is what got me that trophy."
"It's steamy! I told you! It's shit like this that make people say wow! I never would've thought of doing rise and fall this way. My Waltz are mostly traditional except for a few details I put in myself. But this! Fucking brilliant!"
"Sometimes you have to think outside the box."
"Танцуй со мной."
There he goes talking in Russian again. Meow!
"Dance with me."
"Okay. Wanna get down with some Gangnam Style?"
"A steamy Waltz? Meow!"
"Since we're going to doing a Rumba for your mom, show me you can do a Rumba."
"All right. Can I change? I don't really like dancing in jeans."
"Bathroom right there."
"Um… Did I not bring my bag in?"
"No. That's my purse. I think I left it in your backseat."
"Go get it."
"Come with me. I might get lost."
"Want me to draw a little map on your hand?"
"Come with me!"
"Fine! Come on."
There you are! Backseat like I said. Ah! Hide!
"Who is that?"
"Oh. Is she mean?"
"Eh? Is is huh?"
"Not really. She's strict and conservative. Don't be blonde around her."
"Don't act stupid?"
"Yeah. Don't do that."
"Defiantly don't do that. Seriously. You'll offend
Aww! They're talking in Russian! I can't be nosy Lizzy! She's smiling at me. Smile back! So far, so good. Sean said my name. His mom looks surprised with a huge smile on her face. What are guys saying?! Sad face!
"Sorry. This is my mom, Svetlana. Everyone calls her Vey. I told her who you are and that you're the girl who won the Classics at age twelve. She's seen you dance too."
"You dance beautifully."
That's one strong accent coming out of this woman! I understand her though. So far!
"Thank you. I get all my clothes from you. I love them."
"Work well for you?"
"Do they work okay for you."
"Yes. Never had any issues with them. Great quality."
"English still no good."
"Tell her what I said."
"She's saying her English isn't good. She understands what you're saying."
"You don't dance in the... Ivan?"
"Yes. You don't do no more?"
"My dad passed away about two years ago and I stopped dancing."
"To beautiful to stop."
"I still love dancing. Just after my dad, I didn't really have the energy to do it. Then I found out that I hurt my mom a lot because of it. I jumped right back in when I found that out and honestly, I had no idea how much I really missed it."
"I broke to when daughter, Raisa stop. Happy Ivan still dance."
"He's amazing. He showed me a couple of his dances and they blew away."
"You fit. You both win dance."
"I told him we would be good together."
"You do dance I see?"
"When we finish a dance is it okay if she see's it."
"Oh! Of course."
"Work on now?"
"What are we working on right now."
"Rumba good. I see done. No in middle."
"I need take food in. Good meet you Leeza..."
Help her Sean!
"Liz is fine."
"Oh. Good meet you Leez."
"Nice meeting you too."
That wasn't to bad! Defiantly Russian! Now! Ivan?
"Ivan is Sean."
"What does she like to be called?"
"Okay. Let's go dance now."
"I might get lost."
"Then you're following me."
"I like your mom. You think she likes me?"
"She likes that you're a champion dancer, dancing with her son."
"I'll take that."
"I would too… Holy shit! Are you all right?"
"I almost fell on my face!"
"There's one more step there. Pay attention."
"No. I was looking at your butt."
"Was it worth it?"
"Yes! I touched it when you caught me. Totally worth it."
"Okay. Can you handle the bathroom door, or do I need to get that for you?"
"I got it! See! Not so blonde at the mo... Ah!! Ouch!"
"If you open the door a little bit more you wouldn't smack your head into it while you're trying to act all cocky."
"I kind of want you to make me."
I just turn and walk into the bathroom to change my clothes.
"That didn't shut me up, nor does the silent treatment. I'll just sit right here on the couch and maybe sing a song until you come shut me up."
Hey! He doesn't have a bad voice! Piano? Is he playing the piano or is it music playing? Nope! It's him playing it. He's good. Really good.
"You started playing the piano and shut up."
"I decided you're no fun."
"I'm fun! Have you not had a good time with me?"
"I have. One minute to change and then we dance."
I like it here. Peaceful.
"You dance bare foot like I do."
"To a point. Then I put shoes on."
"Yeah. Whatever heels I choose to dance in I end up putting them on at some point. Gotta build up them calluses."
"Yep. You have nice feet for a dancer. They aren't ugly like ballerina feet."
"I used to have those nasty ballerina feet. Then I learned to soak and wrap my feet at night."
"Yeah, my mom does that."
"When I need to. I noticed something about you."
"When you dance, even right now walking around getting ready to dance. You're always on your toes. Heels never touch the floor."
"Supposed to. That's why my legs look like this."
"I know. I like your legs. They're strong."
"The song on my mom's wedding video. I don't know the name of it. It's her favorite song and we'll be dancing to it."
"How does it go? I'll look it up."
"I been afraid of changing because I built my life around you."
"Landslide by Fleetwood Mac sound familiar?"
"Can you play it? I'll know if it's the right one right away."
"Yeah. 30 Seconds. Downloading."
"Is this it?"
"Landslide. Fleetwood Mac."
"Can you put it on my phone for me?"
"Yes. Let me see your phone and the cord if you have it with you."
The sun is starting to go down and the pool lights turned on. The way it reflects into the basement is so pretty.
"Looks better when I do this."
He turned off the lights and because the wood floor is shiny it reflected around the basement a little bit. Amazing.
"Here's your phone."
"Thanks. It looks so pretty. And it's only pool lights."
"Yeah. Good ambiance."
"Good? No. Perfect ambiance. You're lucky. I wish I had all of this."
Sean takes my phone from my hand and sits it on the table next to my purse. Why am I all the sudden nervous? I've done a Rumba before. No need to be nervous. I've seen Sean's way of dancing. Could that be why?
The way he came up behind me, hands on my ribs, brushing his cheek against mine. Perfect. Spin to face him, foreheads touching, constant eye contact. Perfect. Finally, a man to lead me. It was just… Perfect. Then memories of my dad started flooding my head. We danced though the tears. His grip changed. Slightly tighter to comfort me. I liked it. The song ends, standing there again face to face, foreheads touching. Tears still falling. Sean whispers to me.
"The more real the emotion is, the more beautiful the dance will be."
"I miss my dad."
"I'd miss mine too if he were gone."
"I still dream about him. About the night he died. I saw everything with my own eyes. Why do I have to keep seeing it over and over? It just won't go away."
He moves my head to his chest and I hear his heart beating. It calmed me. The tears stopped. How did he do that?
"How did you do that?"
He wipes my tears away when I look at him.
"I read somewhere that when a baby cries and the mother holds her baby to her chest. It's the sound of the mother's heartbeat that calms the baby. The calming effect of a heart beat doesn't go away as we get older. We just… We just forget about it."
I rest my head back on his chest for a minute.
"Thank you Sean."
"You're welcome. Will you be able to handle this Rumba for you mom?"
"The more real the emotion is, the more beautiful the dance will be. Real emotion is better than a fake sad face. I'll cry like I did just now, and I'll keep dancing like I did. It'll be good. She'll love it."
"I hope so."
"Bottles of water in the fridge over there."
"Hey! Turn the lights back off."
"I will. Get your water and get one for me."
"Got two. Lights off."
"Come here and sit with me."
"Looking at the stars from under water."
"My thinking spot. I sit here on the floor and stare into the pool. The little waves the water makes. See?"
"This is what calms me. Solitude."
"You like being alone?"
"When I have shit heavy on my mind I do."
"I wanna kiss you."
"I don't want shit to get weird between us. So maybe you shouldn't."
"You kissed me last night and we're fine."
"Why all the sudden do you want to kiss me? And you pulled away as soon as my lips touched yours. It was barley a kiss. That's why we're fine right now."
"I just have the urge to. I don't know why."
"Right here. On the cheek."
"I'll take it! Thank you!"
I kissed him softly and let my lips linger there. Sean turned
his head toward me and tilted his head to kiss me... Oh god! Then he stopped,
and he cleared his throat, and pulled away. Darn.
"Yeah. What time is it?"
"There's a clock on the wall behind us."
"In other words, my phone is less than five feet away stop being lazy?"
"You suck... Holy crap it's after 9:00 already."
"Is it really?"
"Yeah. 9:23. Why hasn't Devin called me? He was supposed to."
"Call him. If he's still working I can take you home."
"Okay. Give me a minute."
"Don't mind me. I don't ease drop on people while they're on the phone like this certain blonde girl I know."
He can't still be working right? Why no calls from my Tortillo Boy!?
"Word up girl!?"
"Are you okay?”
"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?”
"You never called me.”
"I'm just now leavin' Scott's. I been fuckin' around with Jacob's car all day, I'm tired as shit, and I hurt myself and got a boo boo.”
"Aww! Want me to kiss it better for you?"
"Yes please. Are you still at Sean's?"
"Yeah. He said he would take me home if you were still working."
"I'll get you. It's on the way to my place."
"I need to go home."
"I'll take you home."
"Stay with me?"
"If you want me to I will. But I need to go to my place first."
"Grab some panties and stuff?"
"Yeah. Unless I can borrow a pair of yours."
"You would wear my panties too!"
"It's true! See if it's cool to stop by and get you."
"Sean, can Devin stop by and get me?"
"Yes. Does he remember where I live?"
"Biggest fuckin' house in town!"
"He said, the biggest fucking house in town."
"That would be the one."
"I'll text you when I'm close and you can meet me outside."
My poor Tortillo Boy got a boo boo. Sad face!
"Yeah. I'm gonna go change."
"All right. I need to get those videos together for you."
"That's right. You do that. I change."
This shower in Sean's bathroom is fucking cool! It's not a normal shower, It's like a gym shower. The drain is in the middle of the floor kind of and the shower head is on the ceiling. I'm so going to use this shower one of these days. One thing I forgot! My effing deodorant! Pit sniff! Eh! Not too bad. I'll survive.
"One of these days I'm gonna roll around in that shower. And I forgot my deodorant."
"Oh. Do you smell at all?"
"Not to bad. I'll live."
"Can I smell you?"
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah. It's a weird habit of mine. I like smelling girls when they're sweaty and stuff."
"Awkward! Uh... Okay. You can smell me, I guess."
He did do it! Lifted my arm and totally smelled my pit! Strangely! I liked it. A lot.
"Why did I like that?"
"Because you're weird."
"Me?! You're the pit sniffer."
"I like it! My dad sniffs my mom a lot too. I think I got it from him."
"You're gonna be smelling me all the time aren't you?"
"Yes. Probably. You said you liked it though!"
"I did! It wasn't as weird as I thought it would be. Smell the other one now."
And he did! Ha!
"Am I blushing?"
"Do you smell boys too?"
"No. Just girls."
"You smell feet?"
"Not really. But don't get offended if you see me smelling your shoes."
"You like arm pits and shoes. You're weird."
"If you say so. I sat those disks over there by your bag."
"I'm putting your photo book up here on the shelf."
When he reached up to set it on the shelf one of the DVDs fell out and rolled across the floor and stopped when it hit my foot.
"Oh no! I don't have extra copies!"
"Did it break?"
"It didn't! Yay! Wait... What it this?"
"Are you sure this fell out of my photo album?"
"Yes. What's it say on it?"
"Nothing. Can you put it in for me please?"
"Is it porn?"
"I hope not."
The second Sean presses play, and the video starts I recognize the living room. Then the man who sits down on the couch.
"It was mom's idea to do this little video for you. Just last words and I love you's and goodbye's, in case one of us goes before it's our time. Um, the date today is September, 27th..."
"Oh my god. Two days before he..."
"Me and mom decided to do this now since you're at Novak pretty much all day and night getting ready for the Seneca Classic in two days. If I go first, mom is to give this to you, or put it in a place where you'll find it easily yourself. I'm giving you a few things to do. Make sure mom continues to be happy. Make sure she moves on, and make damn sure it's with a man you like too. Don't let her fall into the dark. Same goes for you. Don't fall into the dark. Don't let me being gone rip you away from the thing you love so much. I'm talking about all the trophies and ribbons that sit on our mantel. From the second you could walk, you would bounce around and wiggle your diaper butt to any music that was playing. Dancing was always in you. Then me and mom decided to put you in dance when you turned four, just to see what would happen. You never wanted to leave that place. Four year
olds are eating dirt and crayons. Not you. The most amazing thing I have ever seen was you dancing. You won your first real competition at the age of eight. Eight years old! How is that not impressive?..."
"You won your first competition at eight years old?"
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I... Um... No reason. Sorry."
"No matter how torn or lost you are when I'm gone, don't ever stop dancing. Don't let anyone stand in your way or keep you from what you love to do so much. Keep mom safe and happy and just dance your ass off. I may not be here watching you, but just know I'll be up there watching. Best thing in my life has always been you. You always made me proud. Stay beautiful, stay happy, don't fall, don't run away, stay strong. I love you Beanstalk."
"Your dad wanted you to see this. It rolled across the floor and hit your foot."
"Are you saying my dad made it fall out?"
"Kind of. How is it not weird to you? It could've went that way and hit the window, but it turned and went to you. We both saw it."
"Okay, kind of weird. I had no idea this was in my book."
"Principle said you boxed everything up and put it in storage. You didn't look at it before putting it in the box?"
"It wasn't with my dance stuff. It was with my dad's books in there. But I would look at it all the time with my dad, and then after he died it just sat on the bookshelf. I would of never found it."
"Some people think that there's shit in the world we can't explain. I don't believe in shit like that. But I watched this disk roll across the floor. So did you. It was going that way, and it changed it's mind and went to you. I think it's fucking weird."
"I believe it could of, maybe been him. But you're right! It was going that way then came to me. I'm freaked out now."
"I'm tall. My dad said I shot up like a beanstalk."
"How tall are you?"
"Most of that is legs."
"Yeah. Hand me my phone please. That's probably Devin texting."
"...I had a good day... With you."
"Me too... Um... Devin is up the street. Walk me out?"
"Yeah. Don't forget your dad's disk."
"Oh! Thank you. You have a case for it?"
"Yes. Pick your color."
I took me almost two years to find this. Why didn't my mom just give it to me? Did my mom make one too? Ooo! My Tortillo Boy!
"Hey you! Kiss me!"
"Have a good day?"
"Yes. Oh! Sean took me to my mom's storage. So you don't need to borrow the truck and take me."
"You happen to have 40 on you by any chance? I called your brother but he never called back."
"Yeah. Ode is dry right now. I have no idea when he'll get more weed."
"Here... It might be a little more than 40, but whatever."
"You want more than $40 for it?"
"All right. Thanks."
"Mmm Hmm. Night Sean."
Somehow it wasn't uncomfortable when he called me that. I like it. Devin looks tired. Or he just be really high. Not too tired for leg bites! I love them!
"You look tired."
"I am. Why did Sean call you Beanstalk?"
"I got a photo album out of storage today, and when he was putting up on his shelf this fell out."
"DVD my dad made two days before he died. My dad use to call me Beanstalk because I'm tall."
"You just now found it?"
"Yeah. I had no idea it was in my photo album. It just fell out and roll across the room and hit my foot. It was weird."
"It's him talking to you?"
"Yeah. He said it was my mom's idea. I guess they both made one and whoever died first the other one had to give it to me. Or put some place I'd find it myself."
"What does he say?"
"To keep my mom happy, don't stop dancing no matter what, and how I was the most amazing thing he's ever seen."
"You're an eleven time dance champ?"
"Yeah. First win at eight years old."
"I don't fuckin' like findin' shit out about my girlfriend from other people Liz. Sean takin' you to your storage, the dancing thing. It shouldn't be a big deal, but it is to me. You kinda hurt my feelings."
"I had no intention to hurt you Devin."
"Hayden and Sean's sister told me all of this today. I felt fuckin' stupid."
"Why did you ask him to take you after you had just asked me?"
"I was gonna put the key back and wait like we talked about, then Sean showed up in his truck, and I was like, FAVOR! Not even thinking about it."
"You could of text me, called me, I got shit from you Liz."
"I don't like to bug anyone while they're at work Devin. If you called or text me I would have told you."
"I fuckin' work for Scott! I wouldn't have fuckin' got in trouble!"
"Why are you yelling at me right now?"
"I'm sorry... I'm just a little bit irritated."
"What do you want me to do? I said I was sorry."
"Nothin'. I just need to chill out. I wanna go upstairs and take a shower, get my shit, and go."
"I don't want you at my house if you're gonna be all pissed off like this."
"I'll be fine after I shower. I promise."
"You don't like me hanging out with Sean do you?"
"Nope. But I trust you. If you wanna hang out with the dude, go right ahead and do it. I ain't your fuckin' dad, I can't tell you no."
He realized what he did wrong the second the words flew out of his mouth. Then realized how much he fucked up and much it actually hurt until he saw me crying.
"I didn't mean to say that. I'm sorry."
"Go take your shower and leave me alone Devin."
"Go! Just go. I need a fucking minute!"
I wanna go home. I didn't like that at all! Melissa. I'll call Melissa.
"Can you please give me a ride home?"
"Where are you?"
"Outside Devin's apartment."
"Are you okay?"
"I just wanna go home."
"Okay. Come up here with Jacob and I and I'll get some shoes on and I'll take... Is that you knocking?"
"Okay. Hold on."
I told her I was outside!
"Do I need to go down there and kick Dev's ass?"
"No. I really wanna go home."
"Okay, but what happen? Why are you crying?"
"Devin yelled at me. Then he said something about my dad. Well, not about him. He said, I ain't your dad I can't tell you no. It hurt."
"No to what?"
"I was at Sean's house all day. I text Devin and he said he was fine with
it. Now he's like, I don't like you hanging out with him, but I trust you so go
hang out with the dude I can't tell you no. I guess Hayden and Rye said
something to him today about Sean taking me to my mom's storage to get a few
things and about me dancing and being and eleven time champion, this and that, and he's mad at me for that!"
"I understand why he's mad at the last part. He doesn't like feeling like he was the last to know about something. Devin is actually a very sensitive guy."
"He can turn his dick into a vagina without a problem."
"Babe, you're not helping. Shut up."
"He said I hurt his feelings. I don't think I did anything wrong here. The storage thing, yeah I asked Devin, then asked Sean. But he said he's not mad about that. He's mad because I didn't call him to let him know Sean took me. I don't bother anyone at work and I told him that. He shouldn't be mad at anything. Is he mad because he thinks he wasn't the first to know about something? Is that what you said?"
"Yeah. Devin has... Where are you going Babe?"
"Anyway! Devin has no right to be angry. It's just the way he is. Deep down he's still the nerd from way back. He had no friends, last to know everything, braces, and glasses. Today! When he finds something out... Okay! Let's use you. He found out stuff about you from Hayden. He reverts back to the old Devin and he automatically thinks you didn't tell him intentionally. Make sense?"
"Yeah. All I know is, I hurt his feelings and I don't think I did anything wrong. You know him better than I do. What do I do?"
"I don't know. Devin's mind works weird."
"I don't wanna be walking on eggshells with Devin. I know the more I hang out with Sean, the more angry and jealous Devin will get. I love dancing more than anything. I been waiting a long fucking time for someone like Sean, and I won't find anyone else like him. I also don't want to hurt Devin."
"No guy likes his girl hanging out with another guy."
"I know that. Devin said he's fine with it. This is where I'm confused."
"He's like Jacob. He'll say he's fine with it, but he's really not."
"Then why can't he just tell me that?"
"He doesn't want to lose you Liz. He just sucks it up and let's you do what you want so you stay happy."
I need Michael! He could help me right now. I'm just so confused and frustrated.
"I don't wanna hurt him. Do I not do something he say's he's okay with? I'm so fucking lost right now."
"Sit him down and set him straight. Tell him he has nothing at all to worry about with Sean. It's not like he's going to be hitting on you or anything."
"Sean isn't gay."
"He's bi. He likes both boys and girls. Just happens to be with a guy right now. Devin thinks he's gay. That's why he's okay with me dancing with him."
"You told Devin?"
"No. He told me."
"Devin has no idea that he's bisexual?"
"No. He thinks he's gay. I'm not telling him he's not either. I know for a fact he wouldn't be okay with it."
"He smelled my arm pits."
"He said, it's a weird habit of his. He likes the smell of sweaty girls when they don't have perfume and shit on. I told him I forgot my deodorant and he asked if he could smell me."
"You let him?"
"Yeah. I liked it too. I thought it was hot."
"That's a little bit weird."
"It wasn't as weird as I thought it would be."
"You like Sean. Don't you?"
"He's yummy. That accent of his. Mmm."
"I like it too. But, do you like him? Or just his accent?"
"I like him. But I like Devin more, and I'm not leaving him for Sean. Plus, he doesn't find me attractive. He told me himself."
"Hmm. I don't know Liz. Talk to Devin and give him the assurance he needs and just hope it works out I guess."
"Yeah. You're right."
I can't fuckin' believe I made Liz cry. And yellin' at her like an asshole? The fuck is wrong with me? I need my ass kicked real good. Where's Liz?
The fuck she get off to? Outside?
"Lookin' for your girl?"
"Yeah. I lost her."
"She's upstairs with Melissa. She asked her for a ride home."
"She seriously asked for a ride home?"
"The fuck is wrong with you man? Makin' her cry and shit."
"I didn't mean to make her cry."
"You fuckin' yelled at her and said shit about her dad. Smooth!"
"I didn't say shit about her dad. I said, I ain't your dad."
"Same fuckin' thing. Why did you yell at her?"
"For the dumbest reason possible."
"Sounds about right for you."
"Why did you yell at her?"
"I was mad when I shouldn't have been."
"You think she neglected to tell you somethin' and you go all crazy and shit on her."
"Like I said, I yelled at her for the dumbest reason possible."
"Your issue isn't with Liz man. Your issue is with Sean."
"You told Liz to sign up for dance, then you told her that you're completely fine with it. You're in wrong here, not her."
"I fuckin' thought I was okay with it. Apparently I'm not."
"You ain't got shit to worry about with Sean. What's the problem?"
"I was actually fine until he called her Beanstalk."
"The fuck is Beanstalk?"
"Her dad used to call her that. For some reason it fuckin' pissed me off. I wanted to turn the car around and go back and beat the shit out of him."
"So your issue isn't with anything Liz told Melissa?"
"What she tell her?"
"Somethin' about a storage locker and dancing."
"A little bit mad about the storage thing. Only because she asked me to help her and then she turned around and had Sean do it. The dance thing I had no right to be pissed about. I was just being a bitch about it."
"You trust Liz?"
"The fuck is your problem then?"
"I'm an idiot."
"You got any weed?"
"Yeah. I raided Ode's safe and took some."
"He's gonna kick your ass."
"Naw. I told him I was takin' some. He don't care."
"Split it with me."
That looks about half. He's gettin' good ass free weed. He better not bitch.
"This is half?"
"How much fuckin' weed did you take?"
"Like six handfuls. He has fuckin' five pounds in his safe. That's his personal, not sale. He don't care if I take some. If you're bitchin' about that fat ass free sack of weed, I'll take it back."
"No. This should last me a week or two. Thank you sir."
"I sold weed to Sean."
"Before or after Beanstalk?"
"Before. He wanted $40 worth and I think what I had in my car was like 60. I gave him the whole fuckin' bag for $40."
"You should of gave him the cotton mouth shit."
"I would of if I had some. Ode gave that shit back to Scott and he sold it to Tank."
"That's fuckin' great! I wanted to see Ode fuck him up last night."
"Me too! He pissed a lot people off last night. Even Liz got in his face."
"I told him to lay off Liz, and he said not to get smart with him and Liz stood in between us because she thought he was gonna hit me."
"Fuckin' aye. Liz fucked Kim all up! That was some cool shit."
"How did that fight start?"
"Kim punched me in the face and Liz plowed her down and pounded away for a good five minutes until Ode told me to get her off her."
"Don't fuck with Dev."
"She might kick your ass if you ain't careful."
"I fuckin' believe it."
"Are you two gossiping down there?"
"Just telling Dev he's a dumbass as usual."
"I have some of your clothes Devin. I did laundry today at Jacob's and he said they weren't his."
"Yeah. I took a shower up there the other day and I told Hayden I put em in the hamper."
"The clothes on the table belong to your man down there Liz."
"Should I just drop them on his head?"
"Don't drop my clothes on my head."
"Aim for the fountain! Dev was a dick to you."
"Dude? The fuck?"
"Are you still mad?"
"No. I told you I'd feel better after a shower. And I smoked weed."
"I touched her legs! Do somethin' Dev!"
I didn't have to! Liz handled it! Nice!
"Ahhhouch! The fuck Liz?"
"Ode was right man! That fuckin' hurt."
"Hit her back for me Melissa."
"Oh! Spankings from Melissa! Hold on! Let me bend over and get into position. Okay! Spank me for punching Jacob."
That was a good ass smack! Loud as shit. That was hot.
"One more time. Harder."
"Woo! Ooo! I bet that one left a mark. Look! Did it?"
"Feel better now Babe?"
"Yes. Dick is hard. Handle it woman."
"Night you guys."
Liz kisses! Yum!
"I'm sorry I made you cry."
"Melissa told me you say shit without thinking when you're mad."
"Yeah. Big hole. Ready to go?"
"Yeah. Did you grab everything you need?"
"I just need my work clothes for tomorrow and you happen to have them."
"Just give me a minute to lock up."
"Don't forget weed."
"It's in my pocket. Me forget weed? Never."
"You wanna drive?"
"All right. Let's go."
"What's your issue with Sean?"
"I was 100% fine until he called you Beanstalk. It fuckin' pissed me off. I seriously wanted to kick his ass."
"Why did that make you mad?"
"I don't even know! It just did. The storage and dancing thing was me bitchin' to have somethin' more to bitch about honestly."
"I didn't tell you because you never asked me."
"I didn't know you're that good. You just said you been dancing since you were four. Nothin' else to even hint at me askin',
you know? I'm not mad about that though. I think it's pretty cool. You're super
hot when you dance too! Rye showed me a video of you on her phone and then she
told me that there's more and where to go to find yours. There was like forty fuckin' videos and I watched them all when Scott let me take a break to eat. I liked them. You're awesome."
"Thanks. Are you okay with me dancing with Sean? Honestly."
"Is he as good as you?"
"He's a six time champion. I've been waiting a long time for someone like Sean. He takes dance as serious as I do. He choreographs like I do. He knows what the fuck he's doing and he knows what he wants. I honestly don't think I'll find someone like him again."
"The guy you won with."
"No. That's an ex boyfriend. The guy with a small dick. His parents own the studio I learned to dance at. He's good at memorizing steps. Nothing else. Those wins I got with him are mine. Not his."
"Okay. You want me to be honest. I am not 100% okay with you dancing with Sean. But! I trust you and I want you to be happy. If you need him to help you be happy in somethin' you love to do, then do it. I can't dance. Or else I'd be doin' with you. I won't get pissed or jealous. I promise."
"Devin, I don't wanna hurt you."
"It won't hurt me. I promise."
"All right. When we get to my house, pull in and turn off your car as fast as you can so you don't wake my mom."
"Okay... Has Sean hit on you in any kind of way?"
"No. You have nothing to worry about Devin."
"I know. I was just curious is all."
"The way he looked back at you when he was goin' back inside his house."
"How do you know he wasn't looking at you?"
"He wasn't Liz."
"He's gay! I've heard him on the phone with his boyfriend. They call each other Babe and say I love you to each other. As long as I have a jay he ain't gonna wanna tap this."
"I don't like gangster Liz. Stop that."
"You have nothing to worry about Devin. I promise."
"You told me not to hurt you."
"Please don't hurt me Liz."
"I'm not planning to. If I do, it's not on purpose. I love you and I will not intentionally hurt you."
I don't think she realized she just said that.
"Yes. Don't make a big deal out of it, and don't say it back!"
"Yeah. I'm passin' the fuck out as soon as we get to your house. If you want sex, you better sex yourself up."
"I'm to tired. I just want to cuddle you and sleep."
"More like lay on me and sleep."
Devin was seriously tired. As soon and he undressed and hit my bed he was out cold. Snoring and everything! It's cute! I was tired, now I just can't seem to fall asleep. I have school in the morning! It's already after 1:00am! When I sat up to look at the clock, I saw the flicker of the T.V under my door. My mom is awake. She must not be able to sleep either. I'm gonna go talk to her. Oh. She's watching her wedding video.
"Can't sleep mom?"
"Lizzy, it's after one. Why aren't you asleep?"
"I can't sleep. I was tired, then all the sudden I wasn't."
"I took your storage key today. I got my photo album out to show Devin and I found dad's DVD."
"You finally found it."
"Hold on one second Lizzy."
She smiled when I told her I found it.
"Everything in there belongs to you. I should have given you that key a long time ago."
"It has dad's stuff in there. Not just mine."
"We had a will Lizzy. He left you everything. There's more than just clothes in those boxes. Next time you decide to go, look in some of them."
"Left me everything? Why not you?"
"Material things he left to you. His money was split 50/50."
"I have money?"
"In a trust that you can't access until you're twenty. I can't touch it either."
"Are you sure everything is okay? You look torn."
"Dad has been in my head all day. Then I found the DVD in the weirdest way. Almost like he was giving it to me."
"How did you find it?"
"Devin was putting up on his bookshelf and it just fell out. It rolled across the floor then all the sudden it like changed directions and came to me and hit my foot. It was really weird."
"There's a lot of things in this world we can't explain Lizzy. You could of been your dad. We'll never know."
"After I watched it, I felt lighter. For the first time in nearly two years I felt... I felt myself letting him go. I miss dad like crazy and I still hope to wake up every Sunday to you find you guys in the kitchen laughing making breakfast. I just feel like I had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders."
"You saw things no fifteen-year-old child should of saw. You went to a very very dark place for a minute. I tried and tried to bring you back. You would just shut me out and yell and scream at me. All I was trying to do was help you Lizzy. No parent in this world wants to see their child like that. Ever. I was scared for you. I didn't want to lose you too."
"Have you let go?"
"No. Not fully. But, I am moving on like he wanted me to."
"Are you happy with Jim? Like really happy?"
"I am. I was in a dark place myself. Jim is the one who grabbed my hand and pulled me back."
"I like Jim. He'll never be able to replace dad, but I can handle him being my dad. You know?"
"He isn't trying to replace your dad. He just wants you to be okay with him being with me. He wants to be accepted by you."
"I approve him. I see how happy he makes you mom. I love seeing you smile, it brightens my whole day."
More weight is gone just talking to my mom. Michael was right. Take down my wall and just let her in. Start by talking her about my dad. I feel better right now.
"Can I talk to you about something mom?"
"You can talk to me about anything Lizzy."
I look back to make sure I closed my bedroom door.
"Have you ever been torn between two boys?"
"I can't say I have. Your dad was the only man I wanted. He was my first everything, and I never desired anyone else. What's going on?"
"There's a boy at school. Do you remember where we used to get my dance clothes made?"
"Yeah. The boy at school, his name is Sean Lebedinsky. His mom owns that place and the dance studio next door to it. The other day at school I was looking at electives to replace P.E. For some reason I went into the dance class..."
"You're taking dance?"
"No. I haven't chose anything yet."
"Anyway. He's great. He's a six time Latin Ballroom Champion. I was just sitting there watching him, I was drawn to him. We talked and stuff after class and I feel myself getting very attached to him. I like Devin a lot. A LOT! I just don't know what to do."
"Who do you desire more? What does your heart tell you?"
"That's the thing. The dancer in me really wants to be with Sean and the happy, goofy, free spirit Lizzy wants to be with Devin."
"That's a tough one hun."
"I know. I'm 50% dancer and 50% goofball."
"Leave things the way they are. Sooner or later all the pieces will come clear to you and you'll be with who you're meant to be with."
"Yeah. I guess."
"I'm going to go back to bed and try to sleep. You should do the same. I'll see you in the morning."
"I will. I wanna watch the rest of this first. I like your first dance."
"Okay. Night Lizzy."
"Night mom. Thank you for listening."
I really don't know what to do. Half of me wants Sean and the other half wants Devin. It is a tough one like my mom said. I could be with both! But that would be wrong and I'm not a whore. Time? 1:45. Hmm... Text.
"I can't sleep."
"Me either. I even smoked weed."
"Looking at the waves?"
"What are you thinking about?"
"What about me?"
"Can I call you?"
I call him instead of replying.
"What about me?"
"Don't let what I'm about to tell get weird between us."
"Rye told me I should just leave it alone. But I can't."
"I am attracted to you. A lot. I have been ever since you came here. Then a little more after we talked at school, and then more at Nitro, then after today it got overwhelming.
It took everything in me to not kiss you when you kissed my cheek. I wasn't
expecting you to touch my face soft like you did and I didn't expect the kiss to
be the same... The guy I'm with, I've been with him for little bit over three years. And here you are. I have no fucking idea what to do with this."
"Why is that funny?"
"No. It's not funny. I said that because I just got done having a conversation with my mom about you."
"I like you a lot Sean... A lot... I told my mom how the dancer in me is drawn to you and I want you so
fucking bad. But, like you... I'm with someone as well. The dancer in me wants to be with you and the goofball in me wants to be with Devin. So yeah, it's hard. 50% dancer, 50% goofball you know?"
"Well, at least we're on the same page about our feelings for each other."
"Yeah. I don't wanna hurt Devin."
"And I don't want to hurt the guy I'm with."
"What did you sister tell you to do?"
"To let it play out and see what happens."
"Pretty much what my mom told me. She said all the pieces would come clear to me sooner or later and I'd be with the person I'm meant to be with."
"Is this going to get weird between us?"
"I don't think so. It's better if it doesn't, because it can fuck up the chemistry we have dancing together."
"Yeah, no shit. This would be so much easier if we were both single and just said fuck it be with me."
"Yeah. I think we can deal with this. I think it's better that we talked about it. It would have eventually got heavy on both of us."
"I agree. What do you want to do?"
"Listen to the advice that was given to us. Leave it alone, and if we're meant to be together we will be."
"Let it play out?"
"Yeah... Devin saw you look back at me when you where going inside your house."
"I know. Sorry."
"We had a fight tonight."
"No. Beanstalk. For some reason it really pissed him off."
"Oh. I won't call you that anymore then."
"No... Please?... I like it. Just don't call me that in front of him."
"I feel better now that we talked."
"Yeah. I could probably fall asleep now."
"Me too. I got my mom's wedding video for tomorrow."
"The converter is already in my truck."
"Cool. I'm going back to bed and try to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."
I am almost completely weight free right now. I let my mom in and talked to her, me and Devin are okay, me and Sean are also okay. Everything will be fine. It will all fall into place the way it should. I just hope no one gets hurt. Me, Devin, Sean, his boyfriend. I don't want no one hurt. No one.